2000

12-30-00 (18:25)

  • updated movies list. 2 to go. watched 6 yesterday.
  • probably going to see melanie tonight and all of tomorrow, that'll be good shit.
  • went to getty museum today, that was really cool.


    • 12-27-00 (23:08)

  • i'm going to go out on a limb and say that eminem is the most creative artist in mainstream hip-hop these days. chuck d is on the downside of his talent, as are the beastie boys (and who knows if they're really working on an album, as is the rumor). jay-z, dmx, and the rest along those lines are just jokes. dr. dre won't come out with anything for a while and he's not as creative as his pupil - eminem. as for his politics....that's a different matter. i must say that anyone who despises the media and society as much as he does at least has that going for them. his music is also some of the most emotional i've heard lately...up there with ratm, radiohead, tupac and a few others. i see him as exactly what our society is breeding. he's got a lot of anger, i'm sure much of it has to do with the fact that he was abused and his mom was a junkie and the like. it just so happens that he has a creative outlet, and he happens to be really good at it. i think looking at his situation as a microcosm for what happens/is happening on a daily basis these days will yield far more than just denouncing him as an angry no talent fluke. the fact of the matter is that society is producing people who have lots of anger and can't deal with it, just like eminem. if we look at eminem as an example of what can happen/is happening to our kids, rather than just as a social reject, then maybe something will be done about it. by simply ostracizing him and calling him a bad apple we run away from reality. the reality is that our society has more and more people who are as sick and lost as he is. there's nothing wrong with being sick or lost. rather than fighting him maybe we should try to attack the root of the problem. don't attack eminem when the real problem is a lot bigger. sticking up for eminem will likely make everyone think i'm crazy. guess i'm like my dad in that i feel like i have to stick up for people like that or bobby knight or the unabomber.
  • "i probably got a couple of screws up in my head loose, but no worse than what's going on in your parents' bedrooms. sometimes i want to get on tv and just let loose, but i can't. but it's cool for tom green to hump a dead moose"
  • "but if we can hump dead animals and antelopes then there's no reason that a man and another man can't elope"
  • "there are a million others just like me, who cuss like me, who just don't give a fuck like me..."
  • "i don't got to be false or sugar coated at all"
  • the fact of the matter is that eminem has been surrounded by complete insanity and i think he's got more insight on his situation and some of the situations in society than most people do.
  • i wish i was as good to myself as i am to eminem.
  • when i said passion, i meant: "passion-one of the feelings natural to all men, as fear, hate love, joy; pl. these emotions collectively."
  • this update has been retarded.
  • i need to be more simple. do right by others. be true to yourself. learn from the past. period.


    • 12-27-00 (18:46)

  • "as long as i am learning i am making mistakes..." -beastie boys
  • updated movies list. 10 more to go.
  • in society quantity seems to count for more than quality. it also seems that effort isn't rewarded, results matter, not effort.
  • a person's worth is dependent upon bullshit, largely superficial, standards. overcoming this is very hard for some. some just buy into, literally, and embrace capitalism and try to buy their happiness and find their worth by being the first on their block to have a satellite dish, etc. then there are the other people who range from living the exact opposite existence to acknowledging the way it is, but still live their lives and base their worth, largely, on those standards.
  • i don't know what in life is real and what is not. i'm inclined to think that just about everything is a societal construction. i can see why many philosophers have claimed that the only real thing in life are our passions. maybe that is right, but it's not right to live as our passions dictate. i think; but no one knows.
  • there really aren't any steadfast rules in the world. i think that's more or less what postmodernism is about. but what does that tell us? well if i think about it too long it just makes me depressed. make a higher power so that your life is justified and so are your actions. writing about this isn't going to help. fuck derrida and thinking that nothing is real or doesn't matter, because even though it maybe the only real truth there is, it sucks deez.
  • when i get depressed i get really depressed. in the last 6 months or so my depression period has been a lot shorter, so i think that's a good thing. i attribute that to my ability to completely control everything in my life. ha. i start thinking about how much of a loser i am. how i'm not what i want to be or what i should be. how so many people are better than me at things ranging from the stupid to the meaningful. i can come up with 2 bad things about myself for every 1 good thing. then i peak when i feel completely hopeless. society sucks. i suck. things that i've done, or that have happened to me, suck. then i start to get better. i begin to remember that although it's true that i'm not everything i want to be and that there are plenty of people who are better than me and that society does indeed suck, that i should get out of depression and start fooling myself into thinking that everything will be alright. then i goto sleep, wake up and i've usually forgotten about all of it so i keep myself busy by watching movies or such. eventually i just accept the fact that i don't have control over anything except for what i do. of course the fact that i'm not doing what i would like to do is what may be getting me depressed in the first place. somehow i just trick myself into thinking that i'm not depressed anymore. so, i guess i should find a long term solution.
  • i'm not depressed now so all is well, right?
  • spent xmas eve with a friend of dad's. this guy (pierre) invited us over. it was pretty cool. spent the whole time with his 9 year old son. played lots of video games. he lectured me on loving christ and how that was the only way i wasn't going to burn in hell...pretty much his exact words. it was much fun. even got to go to midnight mass. made me sick. believe whatever you want. chances are you're a better person than i am if you believe in god.
  • down on the corner seems to be the most popular CCR song. odd.
  • made the brilliant discovery that "O brother where art thou" (the new coen brothers film) came from the title of the movie that sullivan (from sullivan's travels - 1941, preston sturges) wanted to make..."an answer to the ills of society" and such. not even my dad made that connection. i was proud of myself for making that connection. in this case i was more happy for myself than anyone else was. guess i can be good to myself on occasion.
  • xmas day i woke up at pierre's house at around 11am and watched tv. then played some more video games. then got a ride to dad's house. sarah went straight to the tv so i followed. dad was at work. then i left and had dinner at melanie's house. glad that i had an xmas dinner somewhere. i stuck to john wayne and sports and things with her father went well enough. talked to her grandmother about jazz and old detective fiction and was able to hold some ground there too. so all in all i'm probably not a complete loser in their book. that's a good thing.
  • time for dinner.
  • hope melanie comes over tonight.


    • 12-24-00 (00:14)

  • new news - got my grades. whew, better than expected. Bs all around. a B- in my political science war class, but Bs in the other three. got kinda lucky this quarter i think.
  • tomorrow i wake up early like and do the xmas thing with the maternal side of the family. then get shuttled over to dad's. later that night dad, sarah and i will go to dad's friends place to have xmas-esque festivities. i think we will leave late tomorrow night to get back to dad's house. dad has work from 6am-4pm the next day (xmas day). sarah and i will either goto some homeless shelter and help out there or goto grandma's and hang there until around 3:30. then i drop sarah off and get my ass to mars. get your ass to mars, get your ass to mars, get your ass to mars. that's from total recall, if you recall. so i drive to victorville and hang there for the night. maybe we'll goto big bear. maybe.
  • i have to say that i'm happy with my grades other than the dungey class, got a B, felt like i learned more than that - or at least thought about it more than that. oh well. overall it ended up helping my gpa (because that's not hard to do these days) and was better than the quarter had hinted it was going to be.
  • i should sleep.
  • hear the niners got whooped. too bad.


    • 12-23-00 (17:11)

  • updated movies list.
  • melanie came over to my dad's last night, that was unexpected, but made today worthwhile.
  • "what the hell are you doing here?" - first thing my dad says to me while i've been in LA.
  • paid for a haircut for the first time in several months. they played dj quicksilver the whole time i was there.
  • my dad is retarded when he's sick.
  • still need to do some shopping.
  • xmas gets more and more strange every year. or maybe not. this year is strange, this much is certain.


    • 12-21-00 (23:40)

  • webpage will be three years old in a month.
  • heard grandmaster flash and the furious five's great track "white lines" on the radio today. a truly great moment in radio history.
  • queen have an unorthodox song structure for a few of their hits. it seems that way to me anyway.
  • saw a ridiculous scene on the streets of westwood today. it involved two women, a cell phone, a bus, lots of honking, and many words exchanged. utter stupidity.
  • updated movies list.
  • watched two horrible movies today.
  • talked with phil tonight.
  • my nose is bloody lately, i shall cut it off - despite my face.
  • sarah laughed so recognize.
  • sarah remains a dork. the best dork, she says.
  • having my cd collection on the road has proven useful, however some of the cds have some skips in them. very sad.
  • more useless ramblings from a 21 year old nimrod.
  • sarah says that's an apt description of myself. thanks sarah for the ego boost. one can always count on their siblings for the love and support they need.
  • xmas shopping was lame. got dad his present - humor book - the onion to be exact. oops, i just gave it away...sorry dad.
  • wait my dad never reads this anyway.
  • sarah: "you're such a loser"
  • chris: "thank you sarah"
  • sarah: "ha ha ha, he he he"
  • chris: "sarah that really hurts"
  • sarah (still thinking this is funny): "ha ha ha, shut up, ha ha ha he he he"
  • chris: "sarah, there's a point at which you need to draw the line"
  • sarah: "hi"
  • this webpage update has been a large waste of time. i shall sleep.


    • 12-20-00 (22:00)

  • really going to go xmas shopping tomorrow. for reals this time.
  • watched only one movie today. updated movieslist.
  • still not sure what to do regarding the movies goal for next year. want a point system, think it would be kinda neat, but my math skills are lacking so i can't come up with a really good way of making the goal worthwhile. maybe i'll just wing it and in 2002 i'll learn from any mistakes.
  • 2002? wow.
  • dropped off melanie today. been doing loads of driving lately.
  • hopefully i see three movies tomorrow. fell asleep while watching steel helmet today. i think the video was screwed up because i woke up at a few points and the screen was black, but there were people talking on the movie. i don't think it was just taking place in the dark either. maybe i'll try watching it again tomorrow.
  • listening to crystal method.
  • metallica kind of depress me. listened to master of puppets today (the joys of having a copy of almost all my cds) and realized that metallica used to be really really good. now they're just talented pop metal sellouts. what a shame. a sham even.
  • most of the time i don't feel very smart. that's something i'll have to get over or let control me for the rest of my life. tough choice.
  • i think it's very important to not compare yourself or your behavior to that of others. it just seems that it can go either way if you start playing that game...i'm smarter than most people so i don't need to worry about becoming any smarter. i'm dumber than these people so i should feel like a retard. create your own rules and goals and then live by that. then the challenge becomes creating goals which are conducive to a healthy life, happiness, and fulfillment. then again, it's easier for most people to just have standards by which they are expected to live their lives...SAT scores, gpa expectations, points per game, hours of work per week, etc. religion, i think, taps into this same need for most to have a structured expectation system. makes life easier.
  • about an hour ago i was actually looking forward to going xmas shopping. usually i don't. too much pressure to get the right things for people.
  • being on vacation is kinda cool because i lose all concept of time. i don't know what day it is. what the date is. how much more time there is until xmas. living life without a concept of time is the only way to go.
  • got really worried about the rest of my life last night then i realized that i didn't have to have it all planned out until i'm 22. ha. plans. ha. plans are funny.
  • where is my wallet?
  • saw this thing on tv about a possible link between acutane (acne pill) and suicide. medicine is fun stuff.
  • just got my paper grade back (pop culture) - 89%. according to the TA i should get a B in the class. that would be insane considering i averaged a D+/C- on  my quizzes. i guess we did get to drop one of them, but still it couldn't have been any better than a C. if i get a B in that class then i will finally consider myself worthy of the real world. whew. so much was riding on that class!
  • sarah remains the best, so she says.
  • wish i had some kind of creative outlet. i'm not a writer. i'm not a musician. i'm not an actor. i'm not an artist. i just take lots of dumps.
  • where the hell did that come from?
  • seriously though, it would be nice to have some creative outlet.


    • 12-19-00 (16:05)

  • going out to eat with mom, her boyfriend, and melanie. i want to have the fresh fruit shake, they're the shit.
  • watched a movie today, hence i updated movieslist.
  • had pancakes for breakfast, they were pretty good - despite my making them.
  • drove around a lot yesterday.


    • 12-17-00 (22:53)

  • got a hit the other day from some one who did a search for "frat boy." interesting that they found my site through that search.
  • vern got punched by some surfer guy for stealing his wave. vern calmly told the brute the err of his ways and he paddled off only to turn around mid-paddle to say "sorry." i'd say that's an accomplishment. MLK, Gandhi, and I would be proud.
  • i don't mean to lump myself with MLK and Gandhi. i hereby proclaim my unworthiness in comparison.
  • saw part of rocky IV today. god what a nationalistic piece of crap. the only redeeming part was the speech rocky gives at the end while in moscow - he says something to the effect of 'we can all get along if we just change a little bit.' of course it was the great american spirit which won the russian crowd's affection to the point where they started to root for rocky over the russian boxer. america may not be the strongest nation, but we've got heart seemed to be the point.
  • how quickly things develop - going to pick up melanie tomorrow, i'd say it's more than worth the trip out there and back.
  • i've got some xmas presents to buy, some movies to watch and some fudge to eat. other than that my week, after wednesday is completely open.
  • my sister is definitely a teenage girl. while i'm here i'll try to make that as inconspicous as possible. talked to her about a rage against the machine quote today - 'a mass of tears have transformed to stones now, sharpened on suffering, and woven into slings." got her thoughts on that. hope to talk with her about transcendentalism tomorrow.
  • my mom is pretty neat.


    • 12-17-00 (17:38)

  • not much doing lately.
  • made some fudge, slept, watched too much tv, ate.
  • gotta do xmas shopping. other than that i'm a free man until xmas eve. i should make arrangements to spend time with people while i have it.
  • i'm glad that this break is fairly laid back so far.
  • very very windy outside right now.
  • going to eat mexican (burritos) tonight. should be good.
  • watched parts of a lot of different movies today - willy wonka, total recall, wedding singer, et al.
  • thinking about changing my movies goal next year from 300 to something based upon a point system. for example: new movie = 1.5 points. new movie before 1950 = 1.75 points. movie i've seen before, but not this year = 1 point. movie i've seen before, this year = .75 points. and then i just have to get 350 points or thereabouts. i think it's a good idea because i provides an incentive to watch movies i've never seen before and movies which are old. but the math could get tricky and i wouldn't want to end up watching only 200 movies because the points were too easy to get, or the goal wasn't high enough. if you can come up with some reasonable point values lemme see em.
  • updated wish list link so it's not so hard to find....check sidebar.
  • didn't bring my phone numbers so i can't call phil, jon, or vern. that's a shame. happy holidays and happy birthday (vern), in case i can't talk with you later.


    • 12-17-00 (09:55)

  • my sister is the coolest person on earth, i mean i totally look up to her. she's the best best best, and i suck.
  • actually she just told me to say that. now she's laughing like a goon.
  • updated movies list. 26 to go, should be fun.
  • went to melanie's and saw her play, it was kick ass.
  • going to make some fudge today.
  • sarah continues to be a dork.
  • she says she inherited it from me so i should "shut up."
  • played some epic miniture golf on saturday.
  • sarah thinks she's entitled to be a butt since she's my sister. she even said so. bad sarah.
  • mom's about to go to the mall, sure she'll see plenty of retards there.
  • 10 am is way too early to be awake.
  • i am going to eat and sleep sometime today.
  • not much else to report.
  • one flew over the cuckoo's nest is so damn great. it gets me every time. such a perfect ending, but very sad. very very sad.


    • 12-15-00 (15:30)

  • got to see melanie yesterday and today, that was good, naturally.
  • got to sleep in yesterday, that was also good. then i watched a movie. then melanie came over. watched the jerk, steve martin is great. took the car in today for mom.
  • updated movies list.
  • might go out for sushi tonight, that would be the shit.
  • beware the ides of december!
  • i'm down the the ides of december, even though technically i think the ides of december would be the 13th.
  • damn today was good. the weather was so much nicer here than in davis. i gotta appreciate that kind of stuff while i'm here. here it is, the middle of december, and it's a nice 60 something outside with the sun shining nice and warmly.
  • went to IHOP and had some pancakes.
  • not much more to say. gotta go to my dad's and drop off/pick up some movies then i'll pick up my mom.
  • didn't get much done today in the way of xmas shopping, but the car place held us up for a while.
  • going to listen to the beastie boys on my way into town.
  • images on the webpage might not work because i'm too lazy to download them. you'll live.


    • 12-13-00 (15:54)

  • essay is turned in, bags are packed.
  • i think morgan freeman, or rather stephen king (since he wrote it), put it best when he said "get busy living or get busy dying." that's something even the most postmodern side of me can't deny.
  • what's another word for pirate treasure? i think it's booty, booty, that's what it is...beastie boys kick ass.
  • if i were to say that i'd see you on the flip side it might actually make sense with the new year and all. so, yea, i'll see ya around. maybe i'll even update this biatch while i'm at home. don't count on it though.


    • 12-13-00 (14:02)

  • listening to nirvana - nevermind really loud.
  • ran some errands, a few more to go. making cds for my sister, don't tell her.
  • getting your second wind is the shit.
  • mail has been slow lately.
  • if nirvana had released one more album they'd be ahead of ratm right now. maybe i'll get some of their singles and have them get bumped ahead of black sabbath. black sabbath are better than ratm, but i don't like listening to their music as much. ya know?
  • the cello on 'something in the way' by nirvana just begs you to be sad.
  • fuck it. black sabbath moves down a notch.
  • this is probably my last update so uh, see you in a few weeks or something.
  • by that time i'll be a better person than i am today.
  • that's kind of a good feeling - that with time i'm actually improving, in sum. maybe not physically because i'm such a lazy ass these days, but in sum i'll be a better person in three weeks than i am now.


    • 12-13-00 (09:40)

  • done, got it into 7 pages too.
  • i'll proofread it later.
  • maybe i should take another nap? not very tired. i am hungry though.
  • can't wait to be old, wise, crippled and have someone to take care of me. well, i can wait.
  • my physical prime was junior year of high school, though i have more potential now than then.
  • my memory has gotten worse, but i learn more everyday and think about more everyday so hopefully i haven't passed my intellectual prime yet.
  • i wonder what the sociological and psychological effects have been as a result of inventing mirrors. you think about thousands of years ago we didn't have mirrors. sure we could see ourselves on occasion in the water or something, but it wasn't until mirrors that we could see ourselves whenever we wanted. i don't know, but i think it's had a bad impact, overall, on humankind. then there is the issue of cameras and pictures. how about self-portraits before cameras...why did people have those made? to live physically (on canvas) beyond one's years? simple narcissism? very interesting stuff. if you've given this a lot of thought maybe you should talk to me about it.


    • 12-13-00 (09:11)

  • just about done. two paragraphs to go.
  • worrying about life doesn't do much good. planning is useless. living is essential. knowing how to live takes some thought and lots of experience.
  • "don't worry, be happy was a number one jam..."-chuck d


    • 12-13-00 (08:05)

  • i wanted to write about how MLK thrust himself into public life - stark contrast to the ever-passive thoreau, and i couldn't come up with a synonym for "inject" - as in "mlk injected himself into the public sphere...." so i used word 7.0's thesaurus and it came up with 'inject sperm' as one of the possibilities so i looked that up and it had some interesting synonyms - emit sperm, come, climax, copulate, discharge seed, ejaculate, spill one's seed, fornicate, and squirt. i shit you not. personally, i like discharge seed and spill one's seed the most.
  • never knew that cognizant, was spelled that way. it just looks so wrong.
  • 8:23 and i'm breezing through this biznatch. biatch. bitch. is bitch a bad word? i guess in certain contexts it could be worse than others, even downright mean.
  • i honestly think that had MLK and gandhi not used thoreau's thoughts for things other than avoiding taxes that thoreau would be a far lesser known american thinker/writer.


    • 12-13-00 (07:39)

  • this paper should probably be closer to 10 pages than 7. already i think i'm on pace to do more than 7 pages. that's not good. i can do some fudging with the font and stuff, but that would be wack. i'll just have to be more selective when choosing what/not to include.
  • moving along nicely.
  • dungey makes it easy.
  • you make it easy.
  • 'inside' (14) is definitely my favorite track on 'play.'
  • thoreau was an interesting fellow. MLK made thoreau and even gandhi seem greater, if you ask me. it's like if i become some great comedian and i cite john candy as my major influence then john candy is going to seem even cooler.
  • steve martin is more funny than john candy, but mr. candy was the fucking shit. i still don't own planes trains and automobiles. buy it for me - i'm too lazy to put it on my wish list, but it's there in spirit.


    • 2-13-00 (06:55)

  • thinking i'm going to listen to moby the whole time. i like track 14 a lot.
  • finished the introduction, onto the harder part.
  • the inside of my left ear has been itching a lot lately. very much on the annoying side of life.
  • realized that my tenses are all fucked in this paper...i'm not going to correct that until later, if at all. they won't notice/care. maybe i will correct it after all.
  • not so tired now.


    • 12-13-00 (06:11)

  • slept for about 4-5 hours, but in about 3 chunks since i didn't plan on sleeping that long.
  • i'm really tired now, quite sleepy, but the rest will do well for later in the day.
  • i should be on a plane in 12 hours.
  • "on a plain" - a great nirvana song.
  • i shall begin work on my paper soon.
  • it's cold and dark, i'm tired. wish i could just sleep.
  • mostly worried about how to structure all this information i'm supposed to give for this last paper. the question sets up a decent enough structure, but i don't know how well i'll be able to incorporate everything i want to under that structure. i suppose if i had all the time in the world i'd write out everything i wanted to include and then structure it around certain themes. time is money and i'm one broke ass fool.
  • our reality is the answer to the question - "what are we capable of?"
  • dungey is so right.
  • i wish people weren't so selfish and stupid. god, what a fucked up combination.


    • 12-12-00 (22:30)

  • finals are done. paper to go.
  • your whole teenage life you look forward to driving, even before your teenage years. you practice on video games and in your mind you think about driving and how fun it'll be. then the day comes when your parents take you out for a spin and you get amazingly nervous. holy shit this is a car, it's a big thing, driving carries a lot of responsibility, you could take someone's life, there is so much going on, it's intense. i remember when i first drove, especially the manual, i got all nervous and i really didn't even want to do it once i got in the seat. it was scary. it's easier to just not do it and let it remain something cool in your mind and just play the video games. cuz once you get in that driver's seat you're a changed person. life is different now. all the conceptions of driving and cars that you had before are forever changed.
  • okay, so i wasn't talking about driving or cars - you got me.
  • 7 pages and about 17 hours to work on them. plenty.
  • plenty more to do besides write 7 pages.
  • so when i did finally get in the driver's seat and drove for a little while i got used to it. i didn't press the brakes to hard, i didn't peel out, i didn't oversteer, i looked in my mirrors without swerving, and everything turned out okay in the end.
  • had a good talk with johnny the last night i was there.
  • marc is a goof.
  • finals suck. i'm not a very good student and i should be.
  • i should get some sleep, but i'm not sleepy yet. don't want to start my paper either. think i'll just read some of the notes or some of mlk's autobiography - maybe it'll give me an edge. probably not, but it's still worthwhile.
  • listening to metallica for the first time in a long while. fucking sell outs.
  • life doesn't make sense and trying to make sense of it is pretty pointless. trying to find answers is impossible. last year around this time i was planning on destroying my life and starting over. having a life changing experience is good. whether it's crashing your car in living in a hospital for a year while your brain begins to function or whatever i think starting your life over is usually a good thing. what it came down to was that i was overall happy with my life so i didn't want to screw it up to the level that would have been necessary. what i was basically looking for was a big dose of suffering which would alter my perspective in a way that would, in the long run, be beneficial. the hitchhiking trip was kinda like that, but wasn't long enough. hopefully next year is a good experience. i think it will be.
  • it'll rain tomorrow. hopefully my plane doesn't get delayed.
  • had nothing but potato today. baked potato with cheese for breakfast. baked potato strips and french fries for dinner. i've got spare potatoes, what can i say?
  • shoulda made some mashed potatoes. too much time. no milk.
  • i don't know if it's because i'm a senior or what, but i'm beginning to look further in the future these days. i can't decide if trying to make a plan is good or bad. i used to be so laissex faire (sp?) that i just lived week to week and tried to let life happen to me. i'm still pretty laid back, but i've begun to make a few plans here and there for the future. am i old? am i insane? is it bad? old people are welcome to advise.
  • geek watch ran out of batteries. lost some phone numbers. shite.
  • haven't gotten anyone anything for xmas yet.
  • who protects us from you? - krs one
  • decided that making copies of all my cds is an absolutely wasteful and ridiculous venture so i'm going to continue to do it and try and finally catch up.
  • the more you live the more able you are to learn. yet at the same time the more fixed you become in your beliefs.
  • "i've got an open mind so why don't you all come inside" - mike d
  • paul's boutique probably has the answer to every single question ever posed. it's probably a better piece of work than the bible. but i won't jump to conclusions.
  • if there is a god, the kind of god that chick publications speaks of, then i'm seriously fucked to hell.
  • i don't do much surfing of the internet these days.
  • my feather duster is hung on the wall with a nail, just like johnny. wow.
  • haven't checked my fantasy football bs in a while. oh well.
  • updated the papers page since someone actually requested i do so. my papers are just more and more embarassing every year.
  • kind of an interesting website. he has a little "story" in the ratm cd liner notes....the new one


    • 12-12-00 (09:49)

  • the day begins early and will end very very late, but by the time it ends i'll be done. whew.
  • looks like it's not raining right now, but could later.
  • gotta turn in my paper in 10 minutes, i should go do that.
  • gotta do some major studying today.
  • i'm very tired.


    • 12-11-00 (21:02)

  • more or less finished my paper. more less than more.
  • at any rate jon will be here any minute so we can teach each other the merits of reading before finals week rather than skimming the day before the final.
  • i want ice cream.
  • i should do some pull-ups or are they chin-ups?
  • need to pack some fudge some time soon. i mean pack for the trip.
  • maybe i'll get myself some mountain dew. i'd rather do this whole thing without chemical stimulation, but i don't know if i'm that strong.
  • i'm not going to buy any mountain dew. just decided.
  • i've got movies to watch, i'm going to have to wait on those. oh yea, updated movieslist. 30 left, shite.
  • updated cdlist. vern hooked up another. that makes 494. i'm a sick bastard. i should purge some of those cds, maybe not


    • 12-11-00 (18:45)

  • back once again with the regengade master, and who knows what the songs says after that.
  • i've got a paper due tomorrow, most of it is done, but it could use an hour or so of solid work.
  • i have a massive final from 4-6 tomorrow. then a smaller, easier, but equally important final in film class from 7-9.
  • wednesday i have to turn in my paper for dungey's class. that'll be around 6-7 pages, hopefully i can be concise and perfect on that one otherwise i'll be very disappointed in my grade for the class.
  • i need to sleep. the trip over here took a long time and i barely made it on time. then, despite my desires to do otherwise, i went to work for four hours.
  • scott gave me some news that steve, a guy i worked with at the shelter, has decided to get married. that's some pretty crazy shit, hope it works out. he's a good guy even though i haven't talked with him in god knows how long.
  • god knows a lot despite being dead.
  • i should cease updating my webpage and take a much needed nap.
  • i'm broke.
  • johnny came up with a really really funny insult this weekend.
  • there's this guy named john cage who is infamous for this one 'song' called 4:32. he gets up on stage and for four minutes and thirty-two seconds just sits there - any sounds that may happen during that time make up the 'song.' he's all post-modern and avant-garde like that. i guess it's a nice idea, but it's kinda ridiculous over all. at any rate...
  • we were playing football and marc, one of johnny's more unique friends, failed to cover his receiver leading to a touchdown. johnny said "marc couldn't even cover john cage's 4:32." i think i was the only one to get it, but it was really witty, much props to johnny for it. oh, in case you didn't know - when you "cover" a song you're just doing a remake of it. some famous covers - beatles - roll over beethoven, et al, jimi hendrix - all along the watchtower...so yea it was a really funny insult which probably doesn't seem half as funny now that i've beaten it to a pulp.
  • got to watch some of the football games (niners and raiders) both were good, but the niners were robbed.
  • tv is bad.
  • i should rest. this december is a lot less stressful than last, but these next couple days are still going to suck sac.


    • 12-7-00 (18:24)

  • as always seems to be the case when it comes to santa cruz trips, plans have changed. instead of taking the early bus out of here i'm going to be getting a ride from luke and jenny from davis to santa cruz, pretty sweet.
  • i should get cracking right away on my paper or watching a movie, whichever is more important. the movie would only take about an hour since i'd watch dilinger and the paper would take a lot longer, but an hour spent on it now would be an hour less i'd have to spend on it later. so i'll watch the movie. no i don't know what i'm going to do. probably neither.
  • xmas party at the christian house goes down on saturday, needless to say i won't be there. no big loss, in fact being out of town gives me an excuse to not be surrounded by the whole crew. i'm guessing that any fun and excitement which i may be missing out will be more than gained by going to santa cruz. just a guess.
  • autechre has been in my player the last few days, that might explain my latest insanity.
  • monday is going to be crucial. tuesday the shit hits the fan. wednesday i leave it all behind.
  • hasn't rained lately, that's really good. was warmer today than yesterday that, too, is good.
  • not much to report. people still can't ride bicycles and insist on endangering me on a daily basis. people can't drive cars either.
  • just watched some jeopardy and rocked it better than i ever have. cleaned up on the sports category. then came double jeopardy. the first half was the ego boost for the day the second was a reality check.
  • gotta get to packing.


    • 12-7-00 (00:00)

  • one month after the election.
  • got some good though groundwork laid for my pop culture paper. i know plenty about marxism to spout off about it for a couple pages, which is more than enough. just need to know about gramsci or hegemony (whichever i end up picking) and i'll be set. this is the kind of paper which, in a way, i've been preparing for ever since i got my first rage against the machine album back in 94. here is where i can use all their quotes and spout off about what they stand for and how that relates to pop culture and marx and how gramsci is a fucking tard and all the rest.
  • for the record i think both my parents are pretty kick ass for the most part. i can talk to them and they don't beat me anymore so it's all good.
  • they never beat me.
  • jon's car is fucking awesome. what a bastard.
  • forgot to buy my ticket to santa cruz today. will do that tomorrow. need the information on what buses to take once i get to berkeley. johnny, luke, hook it up!
  • i try not to use exclamation marks. although in my earlier years i used them frequently, at least relatively.
  • listening to aphex twin again. then autechre - tri repetae ++. some good and kinda wack shit.
  • updated movies list.
  • updated cdlist. 7 cds away from a landmark which i never thought would happen.
  • gotta go.


    • 12-6-00 (16:34)

  • got the new ratm album. listened to the first song and it kicked ass. then i realized that i hadn't heard all the songs they covered yet so i'm listening to the originals first, then i'll listen to the rest of the album. thanks to vern for making a 14 dollar cd (which is the sale price + tax) come out to under 14 after tax. in a month or so when the sale is over the cd will be going for 19 bucks - ridiculous.
  • you gotta give props to any band which chooses to cover songs from bands like devo, mc5, epmd, afrika bambaataa, minor threat and bob dylan. well, you don't have to, but i do.
  • today was decent. started off poorly, but joking with jon in war class proved to lift the spirits. of course getting email at work is fun too. plenty from melanie and even more from kdviates (kdvs staff). some interesting conversations going on all stemming from a note from the gm which said to turn the lights off more often. people turned it into this huge political debate having nothing to do with the station. kdvs people are funny, funny queer AND funny haha.
  • think i'm going to give in a go to the market, just for some necessities. i got paid today so i must be rich enough to afford the stuff, right?
  • down on the street is a good stooges song. iggy pop is alright in my book.
  • hopefully i'll eat something filling, take a small power nap watch a movie, get working on some paper type shit, watch another movie and then work on the paper some more.
  • hopefully.
  • saw a bumper sticker today which read "in these days of deceit telling the truth is an act of revolution" sad, but true. i think i'm a pretty honest person.
  • reminds me of this bug i saw the other day, painted red, probably an early 70s model and it had a "question reality" bumper sticker on it. i'm down with that person.
  • the liner notes in the ratm cd are kick ass. simple, but kick ass.
  • the devo cover is fucking rad. very different. the first mellow song by rage, ever.
  • i shall be off now.


    • 12-6-00 (11:41)

  • short day today, gives me a chance to get some things done.
  • guess i should clear up something. i like my dad. despite having a racist father who left him at age 5 he's turned out to be a pretty decent person and friend. i don't dislike him for trying to earn his dad's love. that is all.
  • taking pictures is something i've never been real big on. for a while it was because i didn't have a camera. now i do, so i should take more pictures.
  • haven't carried my switchblade with me in a long time. it occurred to me just now as i looked at it lying there, lonely, on my desk.
  • discovered the other day that the bose wave radio adjusts it's led display based upon the level of light in the room. so when i turn off the lights to goto bed, it dims itself. crazy cool shit.
  • i should get to class. will check mail first.


    • 12-6-00 (01:42)

  • separate, but equal is inherently unequal - so says the supreme court. why can't this logic be extended to gays?
  • life is really strange. feelings are even more strange.
  • as far as my life - as a story - goes, i'm really interested in seeing how it develops. i've got some interesting ventures which may or may not pan out and which will effect the rest of my life. this year could prove to be the most pivotal of my life.
  • i still think that the hitchhiking trip was the best week of my life and march was probably the best month of my life. i'd say that 2000 was the best year of my life to date. as always there is but one way to make it seem even more perfect. but i don't actually care too much about that.
  • jon has been telling me that he understands what i'm talking about when i go on my little tirades. he's the only one who has said they understand it and i doubt people would tell me if they didn't understand it, for plenty of reasons. the point is that one person understanding it is a good sign.
  • i've used jon's name more in the last couple days than in most months.
  • read over some of my old updates and it seems i was once hooked on stacy.
  • i got at least one person to buy into my church/party argument. she's like me in that she doesn't like parties, but gets constantly pressured by her friends to attend them. i don't dig on religion so i don't go to church. i don't dig on drinking and dancing so i don't go to parties. i'm not saying i'll never ever go to another party again, i probably will. it's funny how some people can be so into parties and insist that you come along and have fun with them. if going to parties is your thing then go right ahead, but insisting that i come along doesn't make much sense to me. what's even more strange is that almost everyone i know who goes to parties tries to get me to go. maybe they think it'll be good for me.
  • jorgay and friends thought church would be good for me.
  • been making copies of my cds. there are probably about 80 more to make. what a ridiculous venture. not sure what i was thinking. everyone thinks it was a bad idea and a waste of money. i'm so behind that i shouldn't even bother. i guess the theory of sunken costs comes to mind at this juncture.
  • wondering what my 500th cd will be.
  • get paid tomorrow.
  • going to buy the new ratm album, that'll be good.
  • had a really intense dream last night. i had a dream that i was in a film class, a film class for potential directors - as opposed to a film history class like i'm in now. i was with all these really talented mother fuckers and they all put me to shame. i think the teacher of the class was pretty much like my dad, or at least a father figure to me in a way. he gave out the assignment which was to make a short film of our choosing and he said be as creative as you like. afterwards i think he talked with me and i was discouraged about the whole thing - because a) i have no talent b) i'll never amount to anything so what's the use in trying? he was also like my dad in this story he told me about himself - he said that he too was once a student of film who thought he wouldn't amount to anything. but of course i, and the rest of the class, knew he was full of potential and had all this great talent. so he had this potential, which he only realized in retrospect, and he didn't do anything with it. so he showed me this one video he made, but never entered in any contests or the like. just kept it to himself. and when i watched it i was overwhelmed. there were so many brilliant colors and really intensely cool images and it just made me break down and start to cry because i saw how genius it was and how great he could have been, but how he just shit away all his talent by doing nothing with his life. i think it was about this time that the phone rang. it was a telemarketer.
  • i've had two really intense dreams in the past month or so, which is a rarity.
  • my dreams usually suck ass.
  • so i guess i should be inspired to not piss away my life, but "oh for the sake of momentum...i'm condemning the future to death so it can match the past."
  • aimee mann is smarter than me.
  • if tomorrow went perfectly i'd deposit my paltry paycheck, buy a ticket to santa cruz, talk to dungey just to talk, do some research for my pop culture paper, watch two movies, write a good portion of my pop culture paper, talk to melanie, finish my pop culture paper and go to sleep really late, but with a good sense of accomplishment. but then there's that momentum/inertia thing. you can call is laziness if you like, too. or habit, even.
  • that's not really the perfect day, but it's the realist view of a perfect day.
  • my vision is blurring.
  • i'm not going to have any teeth, hearing, or eyesight left by the time i'm 50. guess i'll have to think more.
  • dungey was talking about suffering and how society is completely geared towards avoiding suffering and towards making pleasure, hedonism, happiness, whatever you want to call it - more accessible and easy to obtain. we can watch tv and be mindlessly entertained, the world's problems will melt away. we can buy things for ourselves, or if we're really great people, for others and feel good and happy. we can start taking paxil, drinking alcohol, popping uppers, and the like and feel happier. the guy is so fucking right.
  • the buddhists say that all life is suffering. i'm not sure all life is suffering, but suffering sure does make you appreciate the better things in life. so are there still questions as to why i wanted to have a string of really shitty jobs the year after college? i guess dungey and the buddhists articulate my views better than i can, but maybe now you can understand why i want to do that. maybe people can understand, too, why i look back on my painting job more fondly everyday. it sucked ass while i was doing it, but it was the best job i've ever had. sure the job at the shelter was also suffering, but it wasn't quite as great as the painting job. physical labor is, well, there's a lot to be said for physical labor. i think it's easy to reduce it to brute work and construction sites as a stew of masculinity and testosterone, but there's much to be learned from physical labor. i'm not defending the blatant male chauvinism that often occurs at construction sites, but i am defending labor. a sense of accomplishment is a good thing.
  • i can't believe i spelled chauvinism correctly. i still can't spell bourgeoisie, but i can spell chauvinism.
  • funny thing - i spelled bourgeoisie right for the first time in my life. i guess jon is good for something ;)
  • this update has been longer than i expected.
  • 33 more movies to watch this month/year. i will continue the goal to next year. 300 in 2001.
  • sounds like a battle cry. kinda like bush/quayle in 1996!
  • a year from now my life could be so completely turned upside down.
  • i guess the only smart thing to say would be that it could also be completely fucking awesome. after all, there's probably an equal chance for both.
  • aphex twin is good, but should stick to the ambient stuff. so if you know him, just tell him i said so.
  • our film history teacher is the shit. he was talking about martin scorsese calling him up with a question. he was also talking about being on the news hour with jim lehrer later this month. did i spell that guy's name right? he also likes planes trains and automobiles. he also said 'ah shit' when i told him about gore's winning florida being taken back because it was too close (back on nov. 7th). or did he say fuck? it was cool either way.
  • if i'm a teacher....i almost typed 'when' instead of 'if.' at any rate, when i'm a teacher i'm going to make it a point to talk to my students as i would talk with a peer. i think they'll respect and like that. i think teachers who cuss are generally cooler than those who don't. i can't remember a teacher who cussed and wasn't cool. if i got fired it would be pretty sweet. i could live off the government for a while and then be a bum and then kill myself after living in abject poverty for a while.
  • not sure where i come up with this stuff, but i should stop.
  • wish i could type faster.
  • i'm glad i haven't had sex yet.
  • i should make up another will. it's kinda fun. i'll make a point of doing just that sometime within the next few months.
  • the forty niners can make me cry.
  • this update has been a lot longer than i had expected. i actually didn't even plan on doing an update.
  • confession - i once tried to be a tagger in junior high. everyone else was doing it. writing my name on walls was exciting and fun. though, i'm not an artist so having any kind of style was always a problem. also i'm not very good at doing anything 100% so it kinda died down. i wasn't committed enough.
  • i think i could have been a good thief if i committed myself to doing that. to this day i come up with all sorts of scams, but don't seem to act on them. i should become a social darwinist and justify my theft with a mantra (which will be tattooed across my buttocks and forehead) "survival of the fittest!"
  • studying is hard and doesn't give immediate gratification.
  • MLK was smarter than Malcolm X. he also took a higher road. malcolm x was the shit and i love him. he had all the potential in the world and i think his suffering made his eyes pretty wide open and he really grew to know the things that he learned. MLK even says himself that he always had an easy life. i respect them both and both made an immeasurable impact on society, but MLK is more of a hero to me than X.
  • was thinking that today and realized that i gave a lot of press to malcolm, but never laid down my views on both of them, at once. so there, i've done it.
  • one day it would be nice to go over all my old updates and take some memorable quotes or entries and put them on a page. i'll never do it, but it would be nice.
  • wouldn't it be nice?
  • yes it would.
  • i'm feeling tired.
  • wish i could do crossword puzzles, but i can't. i suck at them. i'll never be very good without really applying myself. i'll never really apply myself to crossword puzzles.
  • wish i could be harder on myself. i find that i'm not hard enough on myself. wish i could really lay into myself. just really fucking bowl myself over with put down after put down until i was forced to self-destruction.
  • grim, dark sarcasm like that has no place here. get out.
  • got a catalog from the media education foundation, which puts out some really good left-leaning videos on anything from media portrayal of women to war. sadly the videos cost like 125 bucks for an hour's worth of film. they sell to schools so that's why. kinda sad if you ask me. i've gotten a couple things online in anticipation of one day being a teacher. i've even started writing down some ideas in my little black book. either i could be fooling myself or this could be real. but we won't know until it happens.
  • like i said this year, both school and calendar, is proving to be very very interesting.
  • looks like i could clean up this xmas. can't wait to just rip open all my presents. if my sister gets more than me i'm going to be pissed. i want lots of shiny things. and money, lots of money. and i want a gun and a new car. and a case of good ole jack daniels.
  • it would be interesting to see at what point certain people realized that last set of sentences was a complete joke. i'd guess the third sentence would be the first solid indicator. if you've gotten this far and are only starting to realize it now then maybe you should find yourself a new friend. hmm. yea tell me where you discovered it was a joke, be honest.
  • i remember going to tennesee to see my racist grandfather (the one i never talk about - on my dad's side of the family) and we visited the jack daniels factory. my dad had recently stopped drinking, ostensibly anyway, and we were there for a good portion of the day. i hated that whole trip, i fucking despised every aspect of it. i saw my dad as someone who was trying to be better by not letting drinking ruin our lives again and here was grandpa the racist taking us to this fucking devil's workshop telling us how great alcohol is and the like. fuck him he's an ass. by the end of the day i felt like my dad had turned on me because they were talking about how amazing the factory was. at one point i flipped my dad off. i think i was 11 or 12 at the time. fuck that day. fuck that factory. fuck the south. fuck alcohol.
  • now i'm not feeling so happy.
  • this update has been all personal. it's also taken an hour to write.
  • i should be a more tolerant person. it's the way i want to be. i should be able to tolerate stuff like jack daniel's factories. maybe one day i'll look back on this update and ask how i could be such an ass. i guess i'm looking back right now. i guess seeing the problem is the first step.
  • fucking life is so difficult sometimes.
  • i wish bill borchardt was still alive.
  • i wish i could hug tupac and make him love everyone. he's dead though and i never knew him.
  • it's going to rain saturday, i'm not going to be here. sunday it's going to be really really cold.
  • for all my posturing of thoughtful inner-reflection i sure am an emotional person. rationale should dominate my every movement - shouldn't it? ha!
  • i've been on a spelling streak. well, so far that i've checked anyway. i only check words once in a while, when i think i've gotten them wrong.
  • i've been apostrophe happy lately.
  • i have no clue what to get people for xmas. sarah is getting some burned cds, but other than that i don't know.
  • maybe aphex twin is bringing something strange out of me.
  • talked with vern and jon today about sex. air, water, food, sex. in that order those are the things humans need in order to sustain life. after i said that i asked a question - why does religion insist on making sex such sinful thing? jon said that it's probably because, at least in christianity, a core assumption is that we are all sinners...one way religion can ensure that is to pick something that is so basic to our needs and desires and call it sinful. i think that's basically what he was saying and i think that's as a good a guess as i've heard.
  • for the most part organized religion just pisses me off so i try not to talk about it.
  • melanie got to the second round of ben stein's money and lost to some crazy mental juggernaut who went on to beat mr. stein himself. so, no huge disappointment there. quite the contrary, in fact. fun is good. being on tv is gooder. being on comedy central will be the goodest.
  • i need to get some food for the next few days, but i don't want to spend money. i need to do some laundry, but i don't want to bother.
  • i should remember to bring my camera to santa cruz. i have about 2 pictures of johnny and one is from freshman year.
  • i should get my act together and start living up to my potential.
  • it's 03:13 now i should get some sleep.

    • Aphex Twin: Selected Ambient Works Vol. 2
    12-6-00 (00:41)
  • jon came by today with his new car. it's pretty plush. runs nice, feels strong, nice interior and exterior, seems to have plenty of bells and whistles.
  • dungey talked about MLK today. it was a great lecture. as it turns out dungey lives right across the park from where i live. saw him the other day when i was playing frisbee golf. pretty nifty. i still haven't talked to him.
  • updated movies list. billy wilder has done more good shit than i knew about.
  • not much to say.
  • nothing i really want to listen to in terms of music.
  • hmmm.


    • 12-5-00 (18:20)

  • tiffany (the 80s pop singer) was on the quad today, "singing." i guess she's making a comeback of sorts.
  • dungey was ranting about something and he mentioned her and about 2 seconds later a heavy set fellow comes into class, slightly late and out of breath, and gives dungey a tiffany poster which was apparently signed by her. it was classic. the timing was great. kinda had to be there to fully appreciate it, but it was certainly one of the highlights of the day.
  • class in 35 minutes. going to watch double indemnity, great movie.
  • still have about 5 movies of my own to watch. will do tomorrow.
  • pop culture quiz went better than expected, probably the best one all year. won't make up for the other sad attempts, but hopefully my paper and participation grades will.
  • speaking of that paper i want to get it done before my trip to santa cruz on friday morning.
  • jon's car came yesterday. v6 four wheel drive audi a4. think it's a 96 or something. fucking ridiculous, but he isn't the bourgeoisie for nothing.
  • that's twice today i've been an ass to jon. he really doesn't deserve all this abuse. it's all just in jest.
  • gotta relax for about half an hour before class starts.


    • 12-4-00 (22:43)

  • by the end of the day i always feel like time has flown by. during the day time seems to drag.
  • updated movies list. i can't seem to give a thumbs down, even if it's deserved.
  • trying to get online, but the line is busy. that hasn't happened in a long time.
  • turned in my paper today. have a quiz tomorrow. pop culture should have been my easiest class, turned out to be the hardest (grade-wise).
  • i should get cracking on the pop culture paper so it'll be out of the way.
  • going to santa cruz on friday, no word yet on whether luke will be my escort or not.
  • listening to led zeppelin = a spiritual experience surpassed by none other.
  • noticed the other day a banjo on a led zeppelin track. goddamn.
  • 00:36
  • wish i was smarter.
  • wish i got better grades.
  • wish i could win some contest to prove that i'm a worthwhile individual.
  • where the fuck are these fumes coming from? i'm about to collapse and shit.


    • 12-4-00 (03:12)

  • finished this mutha...while listening to "four sticks," led zeppelin IV.
  • i didn't know that angels with dirty faces was directed by michael curtiz. same fellow who did casblanca, i think.
  • my memory is shabby at best, but i'm over it. well mostly anyway.
  • going to bed soon enough. wake up
  • 3:50...got the proofread out of the way. this paper be done. chisel that shit in stone, and stuff.


    • 12-4-00 (00:21)

  • half way done, taking a break.
  • i pretty much have always written one draft of every paper in my college career. not a good idea.
  • updated wish list. added rechargeable batteries.
  • so many distractions.
  • i want ice cream.
  • led zeppelin all night long, it just turned out that way.
  • it's 2am now and i'm tired, lame ass. mostly done with this bastard. lots to talk about, not sure how to make it concise. it says to assume that the reader hasn't seen the movie. how the fuck do you analyze two movies without explaining a bunch of shit to them? how do you get a good grade and still spend a lot of time explaining and setting up scenes. it would be easier if this was an oral paper. i play some scenes and say 'hey look at this lighting - it's fucking dark, just like the situation is - without hope, blah blah blah' ... 'hey check out that funny shit chaplin is doing, ain't it funny? but hey those situations are so outrageously over-stated that it's got to be a social commentary...funny but social commentary versus ford - sad and dramatic, but social commentary. you dig? you give me A+? me sucky sucky for A. yes? you like sucky?'
  • reminds me of menace to society - 'i got a cheeseburger man...come on just hook me up. come on man....man, i'll suck yo dick!'
  • what a great film. better than boyz in the hood. just great.
  • 6 pages long and i have the conclusion and another paragraph in the body to go. 2:35


    • 12-3-00 (22:56)

  • got the intro. ended up scrapping most of the one i had worked on before, but that was expected, it was really just a thought exercise anyway.
  • listening to physical graffiti. it's a good thing i know how to spell it now. fucking tard.
  • checked out some of my old updates while i was at work, i must say that i'm downright ashamed of some of the things i've said. and in a rare attempt to be positive, i'm also impressed with others.


    • 12-3-00 (22:29)

  • woke up somewhat early today, for a weekend day anyway. watched two movies, played some frisbee golf, went to work, now i have to work on my paper. 5-7 pages on the different approaches to social commentary in Modern Times and The Grapes Of Wrath.
  • updated movies list. four in two days. have 6 more rented ones waiting to be viewed. then there's the 4 i borrowed from the father figure.
  • get to work.


    • 12-3-00 (01:50)

  • perspective is very important.
  • those who are able to fool themselves on a regular basis are more equipped in this world than most. they're more likely to be happy, so long as they can continue to fool themselves.
  • thinking is valued by most people, but is it really a good thing?
  • altruism can be a positive sum game. read today in some book about how altruism is by definition taking away from the giver to give to the receiver. this says that altruism is zero sum - that is, that giving involves taking away from yourself. say there is ten bucks in a given system and i have 8 bucks and joe has 2, altruism says that there is only ten bucks to be had, so if i get joe 1 buck then the sum is still 10. i don't know what the people writing this were smoking, but altruism isn't at all zero sum. what a numbskull notion.
  • not going to parties is a fine way for me to deal with it, i think. i just don't agree with most of what i experience and witness while at parties. pretty much the same reason i don't goto church.
  • listening to physical graffiti now.
  • the smartest person i've ever met sent me an email me the other day saying that she found my webpage intellectually stimulating. probably in the top ten compliments directed towards me of all time.


    • 12-3-00 (00:11)

  • at the behest of jonique i went to a party. this despite my not wanting to, at all.
  • everytime i goto a party i realize a few things - i'm not like most people my age, i abhor hedonism, i don't like drinking in groups, fun is relative, and no one understands me.
  • the more i think the more i come to the conclusion that pretty much everything in life is arbitrary and that i don't know shit. my values are pretty much arbitrary because the more i think about it there isn't a real Truth. the only truth i can hang my hat on is that hurting others isn't good. that still leaves a lot to be done.
  • nevermind, nothing matters. nothing matters, but there are lots of things that still annoy, bother, offend, and hurt me.
  • in order to be a happier person i should take some paxil and be over with it all.
  • jordan asked me about my girlfriend. i asked how he found out. phil told him. i'm not jordan's friend and he's not my friend.
  • i'm an asshole for not keeping friends.
  • it's too bad that i can't fit in better.
  • i honestly envy people who are more like the norm. it's easier and just as fulfilling. i'm dead serious.
  • where has thinking actually gotten me? if i thought less i'd be hooking up with some hot drunk chick right now.


    • 12-2-00 (19:10)

  • updated movies list.
  • "too many churches, not enought truth" - the guess who
  • cleaned the room a bit today.


    • 12-2-00 (15:16)

  • i used to think that utopia implied perfection without effort. i figured love was the same way. there's no way utopia or love can exist without some effort. we all want to be happy and have equal opportunity and all the other things that go along with utopia, but how often do people sacrifice and make earnest efforts towards this end? at any rate keep that in mind when complaining that utopia hasn't come.
  • was reading this shit for pop culture about women needing "maternal emotional fulfillment," as one writer called it. they (like i think all people) need to feel loved, cared for, important, need to be nutured, etc. so these authors claimed there were three ways they could get this - lesbianism, a relationship with a man, or other. they said the first wasn't allowed because of societal restraints (sad, but mostly true), the second wasn't possible because of man's masculinity (sad, but mostly true, though i think this could also fall under societal restraints), and the last was (they said) becoming more of an option. they talked mostly about romance novels being the "other" that was providing the emotional fulfillment. i think romance novels are trash. i also think it implies that the woman has settled for someone unfulfilling, that is if i were to buy into the theory that romance novels are filling the so-called maternal emotional need.
  • as is often the case in readings like this they offered plenty of theories and criticisms, but few answers. i understand why, but it can be frustrating to get a bunch of criticism, with little advice. this begs the question - what, chris, is the answer? i've said before that i have a few answers to life, but i've called them by different names at different times....in this case i'd say it comes down to tolerance and critical thinking. a) people need to think about what these romance novels mean, in the grander sense, and individually. why do some people (as was cited) read between 15 and 25 romance novels a week? self-reflection is a powerful thing, especially when coupled with intelligent thought. b) people need to be more tolerant of differing lifestyles, thoughts, ideologies, etc. men shouldn't have to feel like they need to be powerful providers - subscribed gender roles are no good. when that happens maybe more men will step up and provide for their women. also people need to look at homosexuality in a more accepting way. in a sense, societal restraints are so ridiculously arbitrary and unserving that they need not exist.
  • once again i feel like i haven't articulated my position clearly.
  • had work today, it was so so.
  • i might have figured out which movies i'm going to write about.


    • 12-1-00 (23:26)

  • it's december already, and in 30 minutes it'll be the second day in december. finals coming up.
  • still need to choose two films to watch and write about for my film paper.
  • work from 12-3 tomorrow, no fun, but it'll make me be awake.
  • this is going to be a short month as far as updates go, but my late night paper writing should yield a few goodies.
  • november archive here.
  • "i know what it means to be alone" ....as strange as it is to hear robert plant (of led zeppelin) say that, you gotta know it's true. his lyrics and delivery really make me believe that he really does know what it's like to be alone. of course, this is a stark contrast to some green teenager like aaron carter or the like who makes claims to being in love. i've always had to laugh at that. but who am i to judge?
  • watched some of the mclaughlin group show tonight. god what a joke. but who am i to judge?
  • feel bad because whenever i listen to led zeppelin it's one of the first five albums, physical graffiti, in through the out door, presence and coda are oft neglected. physical graffiti is hard to listen to, i find. you can't just have it at background noise for some reason. maybe it's because the compositions are much longer than pop songs, or maybe they're more complex. i don't really know. i do know that it's a fucking kick ass album, but i usually don't have the energy to listen to it. this is not to say that their other albums are less complex or more pop in their structure. they (the first five albums) just seem to appeal to me on both levels. so i can listen to led zeppelin I while wanking off on the computer or while laying down just listening to the music. i'll get a different experience either way, but both times i'll be entertained. it's hard to do the former while listening to physical graffiti. but who am i to judge?
  • still not 100% over my cold. they linger with me so much. not sure why. i seem to get more colds than most, but i can't remember the last time i've gotten a cold that was bad enough to keep me from working. work is the most important thing in the world, remember that and you'll live a long happy life.
  • been getting more and more buff these days. seriously, i'm fucking ripped.
  • worked on the car a bit today. always a pain in the ass. found out it would cost about 500 bucks to get the valves replaced. yay. intake and exhaust valves on cylinder #2 are dished, from what i hear. what can be done about that i don't know...other than replacing them i mean. who knows. anyway i figure i should tune that fucker up sometime when it's not cold, i have time, i have a timing light, and a couple more tools.
  • i lived with a couple tools once. they moved out.
  • downloaded yet another live beastie boys show today. took a shitload of time, but not a fuckload, and of course it was worth it.
  • speaking of the beastie boys, i should break out those dvds again. maybe one of these days i'll actually be able to see all they have to offer. not bloody likely since there's so much, but worth a shot.
  • i should sleep so tomorrow can be productive.
  • black mountain side is such a great track. you best recognize.
  • so if i get 13 beatles albums, plus the two past masters albums then i'll have 15 beatles cds. as far as physical space goes, then, they'll take up about as much space as led zeppelin, far less than the beastie boys (because i'm crazy like that) and more than all my other bands. i guess it's not that bad because they're going to be in the top three bands anyway. so nevermind.
  • i've spent so much money on beastie boys cds i really should be committed.
  • didn't know that committed had to "t"s. you'd think that i'd remember that by now.
  • well it's coming up on 1am now, i should sleep.
  • my last three meals have been breakfast burritos with avocado. damn good shit.
  • email me if you have the answer to life.
  • the b-side to led zeppelin I is so great. i wouldn't doubt it if you could find that exact quote somewhere in my archives. i repeat myself a lot, but it's mostly because i don't have much to say and an inactive imagination.
  • shut the fuck up.
  • the shimmer action on "these eyes" really gets me going.
  • Dungey was talking about the increased move in political science towards trying to quantify everything. he said that it was particularly evident in the study of war...then he wrote this up on the board...
  • Dungey is fucking classic.
    • Dungey's equation of war...

    "x squared plus y squared over pi times hell equals the chance of war"
    12-1-00 (22:17)
  • here's a wack theory i won't be able to articulate well enough: what if religion was the next step in the evolutionary process; or more specifically, believing in religion. when you think about it being religious makes life a lot easier - you know what you're allowed to do, what you're not allowed to do, what you need to do to be a good person, you know the answers of the universe, etc. of course these all differ according to religion, but they all make living a lot more simple. so what if those who believe in religion were really just more evolved? when i say evolved i mean that they've just found an easier way to live a happy or productive life. i envy those of you who have gotten to that point. i still question everything around me and constantly think about what is right and wrong, etc. it takes up a lot of my time and effort. i'm sure the stress doesn't lengthen my life either.
  • thought about that last night while going to sleep.
  • vern gave me a haircut today, he did the sides and i tried to do the top. it looks okay i suppose.
  • guess who i'm listening to right now. the guess who. har har har. they were good for about 18 months and then feel off the face of the earth. too bad.
  • updated movies list.
  • finally figured out my schedule for next year...i had forgotten to add my classes for the last few nights. all is well.
  • i take it back, the guess who had some talent post 1970, but it was hard to notice.
  • listening to beethoven's first. he's the shit.
  • i think living with johnny is going to be cool. maybe when i'm santa cruz he can learn me something about classical music. god knows i'll never read about it.
  • wish i read more.
  • wish i had the ability to read without my mind wavering.
  • vern put in his 2 week notice at tower. i've yet to buy a cd while he's worked there. i think the ratm cd will be the first, when it comes out - next tuesday. he may be working with me at the library, again.
  • applied for assistant III at the library, means more money, more happiness, more fulfillment.
  • for all my posturing of being laid back i sure am high strung about some things. i gotsta do something about that.


    • 12-1-00 (00:08)

  • the wwf is the world wrestling federation. for those who wanted to know.
  • updated movies list.
  • don't really like john wayne, but borrowed a few of his films from my dad over the break. he's good if you throw politics out the window and just try to be a man about it.
  • discovered that there is only one version of I Am A Fugitive On A Chain Gang, wrong again.
  • i used to be underrated / now i take iron, makes my shit constipated.
  • lauryn hill just said that newt gingrich sucks dick.
  • it's easy for cats to kill other cats, it's just the dogs they have the trouble with.

    • the more i think about it, people are dumb.

    11-30-00 (21:41)

  • was just thinking yesterday that i sure do update my webpage a shitload. johnny thinks i don't. or should i say, not as often as i once did.
  • i should watch a movie.
  • i've really shit away the last hour or so.
    • "Clinton Declares Self President For Life"
    11-30-00 (20:30)
  • there are a few things that make my blood boil like none other. saw some video in class the other day about african-americans in society and of course they showed news clips of blacks getting the shit beat out of them by cops/white people on the street or in restaurants for no reason. makes me so sick i can't begin to explain it.
  • the other thing is the wwf. god what utter garbage it is. conflicts are solved through violence. women are subservient, unequal (except in their likelihood to be beaten) and taken for granted. authority figures aren't given any respect, rules are broken, bent and shit upon. sad sick world.
  • also watched something about ecstacy on tv. i hate drugs.
  • read part of a jared diamond book (third chimpanze) which talked about drug use and self-destruction of various types. the reason i picked it up was because i recognized his name after my grandmother mentioned him. the reason i read some of the book was because he talked a lot about sex and sexual behavior as it relates to our base nature. i take it that he's an anthropologist of sorts because he talks a lot about the orgins of behavior as they evolved from primordial times or how they relate to the behavior of other animals. what interested me the most, though, was when he talked about drug use...he talked about it as a method of escape only briefly and concentrated on another possible cause for drug use and the like. he suggested that when people are able to harm themselves and still appear strong or virile it makes them seem all the more attractive. he likened this to several animal species and their acceptance of handicaps like extraordinarily long plumes or tails which would hinder the average bird/whatnot. he said that when a person is able to dring themselves to oblivion and take it then they are more attractive. mind you he spent an entire chapter on this theory and a) i didn't read it all and b) i'm not as eloquent as him so if none of this makes sense then there's good reason, and that reason is me. it's an interesting theory and here's how i related it to my own drug experiences, er something. after being hit by a couple cars while biking and living to tell the tale i kinda look fondly on the experience. almost look at myself as a stronger person because i've been hurt physically before and i'm still a well-functioning person.
  • it makes sense to me, but then again i've been thinking about it for a couple days and i actually read it from someone who had gathered his thoughts before spouting them onto the page. at any rate, you should read some of that stuff if you happen to work in a library and are bored.
  • 41 movies to go, 31 days to go. this is what i had kinda anticipated, but hoped wouldn't happen. i can do it, yes, but it's just going to take some discipline over the break.
  • work from 4-6 tomorrow and 12-3 on saturday and 6-10 on sunday. that's 9 hours i wouldn't normally have - good for money - bad for freedom, schoolwork and wanking off time.
  • film paper (5-7 pages) due monday. popular culture quiz on tuesday. probably leave for santa cruz on friday. get back monday (11th). pop culture paper (7 pages) due tuesday 12th. war final tuesday 12th. film final tuesday 12th. dungey take home final due no later than wednesday 13th at 2pm. leave for LA 5:50 pm wednesday.
  • so, if i managed my time like i did my money then i'd probably have 2 fails, an incomplete, and 1 D.
  • so, i should pick two films i want to write about and watch them before work tomorrow. then i should goto work. then i should come home and write up a little outline for my film essay. then i should goto a party and get drunk. saturday i should goto work a bit hung over and work on my essay after work. sunday i should read until 6pm, goto work until ten. polish up the essay and then goto sleep. monday night i should read the outline i will have made on the reading i will have done for the popular culture class. then wednesday and thursday i should write my pop culture paper and study for my war class final. then while in santa cruz i should have fun and study a couple hours a day for my war and film finals. somewhere in there i should finish my take home final for dungey's class.
  • such a joker. i wonder how i'll actually end up doing it all.
  • remember that tirade on inertia/habit and power? thought of a good way to summarize some of my thoughts on my theory of inertia - "momentum" the song on the magnolia soundtrack touches upon it pretty nicely.
  • music so much more eloquent than i'll ever be.
    • 11-30-00 (00:46)
  • easily the fastest month of the year.
  • luke never updates his page. when he does the updates are short.
  • listening to elvis costello.
  • have two small small tiny papers due tomorrow. i'm a very bad student in most every way. hope i can be a good teacher. hope i become a teacher. hope i don't fail as a person.
  • damn it's hard to change.
  • why are there so many negative thoughts in my head?
  • shit! forgot to take my paxil today.


    • 11-29-00 (21:47)

  • updated movies list.
  • december last year was the shits. too much work. this year's december could shape up to be about as bad, but in a different way. gotta make a trip to santa cruz. have four finals in two days. have 40 films to watch. have plenty of moving around in LA to do and no vehicle for it.
  • watched part of the beastie boys dvds today, there are two of em. so much stuff on them it's insane. insanely good. director and band commentary. a good number and range of videos. multiple angles and soundtracks to choose from. pictures, storyboards, misc. information, behind the scenes type of stuff, etc. very cool.
  • had to buy a battery for the camera today. kind of a rip off, but what's a man supposed to do; i gotsta take pictures.
  • by request, updated wish list.
  • updated cdlist.
  • no rain while i was awake so i don't count it for today.
    • 11-29-00 (00:49)
  • film teacher talked about planes, trains, and automobiles being one of his favorite comedies. damn that guy rocks the house. of course it's my favorite all time comedy.
  • jon bought a car.
  • have lots to say, but i never have time. tomorrow i'll have more time.
  • got the beastie boys dvd today. thanks phil.
  • need to come up with some financial plans so i don't leave college with debt. or something.
  • updated movies list.
  • listening to jagjit singh right now. very peaceful. mike d would be proud.
  • i don't know very much about very much.
  • gotta sleep.


    • 11-27-00 (20:55)

  • played basketball while i was in LA, that was some fun stuff. good to get back to it a little after such a drought.
  • yea, the drought is over. what fun.
  • been trying to think of some common traits among my friends. i think the big one would be sense of humor. i guess i agree with most of them politically in a broad sense too. but those are about the only two i can come up with.
  • i think a lot of life is about finding balance. i used to think that it was really important to be self-sufficient. i realize now that it's not as important as i once thought. sure it's important to be able to do things for yourself, but it's not good to think you have to do everything yourself. may seem obvious to some, but that's just because you are wise beyond your years, i'm still learning. seriously though, balance is important. sure white people are the devil, but not all of them, you gotta realize that. well, something along those lines.
  • vern hooked up the blur best of cd (two cd set) so i'm 8 away from 500 now. super phat. working at tower records definitely has it's advantages. he gets a bunch of old magazines and posters for free too.
  • track 9 is playing - tender. great song, still.
  • going to eat some turkey, on the sandwich tip, yo.


    • 11-27-00 (11:49)

  • got on the plane a little late. checked in baggage late, but it still got on the same plane so that was good luck.
  • thanksgiving dinner was pretty kick ass. my grandparents are the only sane people left in my family.
  • foggy and ugly in davis today, stark contrast to the sunny southern california. that's the best thing about socal. fair weather is a plus in my book since i like to be able to go outside in shorts and a t-shirt as much as possible.
  • got my beatles cd in the mail.
  • got to see my dad while i was home. borrowed 6 movies, big bonus.
  • watched meet the parents, ergo i updated movieslist.
  • vern cleaned the house. some crazy, but good, shit.
  • updated cdlist.
  • this was by far the best thanksgiving vacation of my life.


    • 11-21-00 (19:37)

  • all set. dropped off videos. jonique coming to provide ride in an hour.
  • power and inertia. was thinking about those while on my bike to the video store. they can both take on scientific meaning in the natural world, and thus seem to add something interesting to my upcoming thoughts. much of life can be brought to power and inertia. black people call each other nigger in order to claim power. by redefining the meaning they claim power to its connotation. if they change the meaning of a word like that then they've taken the sting out of the word and shifted the power associated with the word. this is the theory many purport. though i can't articulate the breadth of this argument it seems valid to me. if you care more about the language aspect of power and meaning, etc. stuart hall is your man. of course power reaches beyond just language and meanings behind words...lots of things we value can be construed to be, at least partly, about power...relationships, politics, money, work, etc. you can come up with your own examples, we all know it's there. inertia the way i'm talking about it refers to habit. it seems more and more to me that humans are very habitual. breaking habits is extremely hard, regardless of what they are. in so many ways the way we live our lives are results of power and habit. the reason i look at myself in the mirror before i leave it twofold: vanity is important - why? well this can be questioned and fought over for pages, but i think a lot of it has to do with the fact that there is a hegemony of thought in society that vanity is something that matters. hegemony is about power. whether you agree with marx that the bourgeoisie sets norms to exploit them or not, i think a lot of it still comes down to the fact that there is a power play going on somewhere which determines how we are expected to live our lives and how, to a certain extent, we should live. one of those things involves the high placement of looks in our minds - it's important to look good. the second reason i look in the mirror before i leave is because i'm used to caring about how i look. if i tried tomorrow to stop caring how i look i know i couldn't do it. that's why i've said changing who you are is a very very hard thing to do. changing the way you think is very hard. just look at people in the south.
  • 90% chance that i didn't make any sense in that paragraph.
  • here's my point - think about how big a role power and habit seem to be in all facets of your life. if you really think about it i think you'd be surprised. unless of course you've given the subject a lot of thought already. it's my job to bring these things to the top of your mind.
  • going to eat my banana split now.
  • might update once or twice while in la, dj who knows.


    • 11-21-00 (18:48)

  • leaving for la tonight. change in plans, yes. bad idea, no. will i forget something in the last minute rush, yes.
  • bringing sleeping bag in case i'm stranded in la without place to sleep. tent too? overkill. no.
  • going to have banana split for dinner. oatmeal and banana split for the day. yum.
  • today was very rain filled.
  • got back my midterm, dungey's class. got a lower grade than i expected. this the one time that i really honestly felt i knew a lot more than the grade showed. i felt prepared, maybe overly prepared. maybe i should have just done a better job of discriminating what (not) to include.
  • i should start packing fudge. god why do i say such things? really though, i should get to packing.
  • fuckin' freak.
  • when you think about it, which i apparently have, the phrase "money is no object" is kinda funny. it seems to me that that implies that if money were an object then you'd value it highly. i propose changing it to: "money is just an object." that is, money is just an object - something of only small worth. after all, call me an idealist, objects shouldn't be held in high regard. money, objects, etc. shouldn't be as valued as other things...those things are for you to discover. just a thought.


    • 11-21-00 (11:23)

  • it's raining, gay.
  • quiz in half hour or so.
  • oatmeal is good. breakfast is even better.
  • raining outside, wack.
  • in utero is an underrated album. should listen to it tonight.
  • no time now.
  • did 13 pull-ups this morning. then 6. then 6 again. then 8.
  • the worst of my cold is over.
  • last night was good for biking. lots of weaving in and out of people, lots of crowds and groups to jet through. there was one assembly of idiot freshmen types by the dorms. they were playing around with a shopping cart, goofing off and such and i went in between a few of them just as one of them turned around to look at his friends i zoomed by. he yelled at me. i smiled. it didn't even occur to me until later that i could have easily run into him and bit it hard. of course that didn't happen and so the maneuver proved enjoyable, for me.


    • 11-21-00 (02:30)

  • did some studying, good.
  • you know, dread zeppelin should piss me off the way they destroy great songs like stairway to heave, but i actually enjoy their takes on led zeppelin songs.
  • off to a better start with fantasy basketball than in the past.
  • if you ever find "blind willy" by sonny sharrock on mp3, tell me. i want it. it's the shit. maybe i should just buy the album. i do have a bad copy from LP on MD, i guess that'll have to do in the mean time.
  • idioteque is different from what i generally think of radiohead style, but it's good shit. cross between talking heads and some blues/rock guitar track, but then again what do i know?
  • there's a difference between something being shit and being the shit. if it's shit then it sucks. backstreet boys are shit. led zeppelin are the shit. ya dig?


    • 11-21-00 (00:09)

  • how does one follow up an update like that?
  • updated movies list.
  • today was pretty good overall. started it off well, that's always good.
  • couple more days and i'll be a free man for a few days. only one more day than i'm used to really. kinda wack.
  • my light just faded out of existence. sad. need to buy a new one now.
  • quiz tomorrow. no class on wednesday. too bad i find this out today.
  • midterm went well enough. essay was no bonus. didn't catch me offguard, but didn't really have as much information as i should have. Maoz needs to start researching something more useful than war, which at this point can really just be broken down to simple playground politics. the direction of political science is a little distressing. all these big shots from vanderbilt and the like talking about things in terms of statistics and studies. please just study my cock. long and hard; the studies, that is.
  • i think i was a very angry person my second year of college. or depressed. or living with a couple christians. even sleeping in the same room as one of them. god, how did i do that and maintain sanity? the answer lies in my latin workbooks. i was a sick person in desperate need of some help and guidance. i had fewer than 300 cds back then, too. maybe that was the problem.
  • it really is sickening that i have almost 500 cds. the other night scott asked me how many i had and it made me think about it. i guess it's a good thing i built my cd case to house so many.
  • having this many cds does help me deal with life, strange as it may seem. when i'm in a bad mood i can choose more than just the b-side of led zeppelin I or paul's boutique or some stevie wonder to get me out of my funk. having more choices helps. i've got a cd to supplement or combat most emotions i have. i'm glad i discovered music. and you.
  • yes, led zeppelin still kick ass. hope you weren't doubting that.
  • cds to buy: ok computer, meddle, piper at the gates of dawn, new ratm, blur - best of, old 2pac, snivilizations, zooropa, anything beatles.
  • short, simple, quick list. probably should add - some sort of good opera shiznit.
  • i'm going to study very shortly. seriously. because i'm the boss of me.
  • you're not the boss of me! you're not my boss. you neither, you're not the mom of me. you're not my mom! i'm the boss of dirk!
  • boogie nights is fucking great. you best recognize.
  • planned on reading my last update while at work for shits and giggles. didn't get around to tit. ha ha. tit. ha ha. funny! ha ha. laugh. funny. ha ha.
  • shut up.
  • that was better heard than read.
  • 45 movies to go.
  • must study.
  • smashing pumpkins - siamese dream. bummer. i remember when i first looked at the back of the cd and thought that the song title was "hummer," not bummer. the bottom of the 'b' isn't closed so one can't blame me for that.
  • okay i'm studying. fore reels. four reels. for reals. really.


    • 11-20-00 (02:02)

  • studying is something i'm horrible at.
  • i'm not good at reading.
  • my memory is bad.
  • i'm very hard on myself.
  • i don't achieve my potential.
  • i can't spell for shit.
  • i'm excellent in the sack.
  • my posture is horrible.
  • this is me studying. see?
  • the midterm tomorrow will not go well.
  • didn't study well tonight.
  • won't study enough in the morning.
  • never bought the book.
  • even if i did buy the book i wouldn't have read it.
  • the teacher's testing methods are to blame for my bad score.
  • didn't watch a movie today.
  • the reason i didn't study well is because i'm sick.
  • ritalin could really help a guy like me.
  • some prozac would be good too.
  • i'll get a few comments about this shitty update.
  • never bought phil a birthday present.
  • i'm a horrible friend.
  • i'm a horrible person.
  • i'm smiling while i'm typing this.
  • why am i so deranged?
  • david bowie is pretty cool. he even has a song called "i'm deranged."
  • i don't like david lynch.
  • i'm probably not smart enough to like david lynch.
  • all this crap is coming right off the top of my head and spilling onto the page.
  • it's 2:10 in the am.
  • compose a beat.
  • that's from a dr. dre song...wake up in the am, compose a beat.
  • dr. dre is cool.
  • you're a bastard for liking dr. dre or any of this associates.
  • gansta rap is bad for society. their treatment of women is abhorrent.
  • wonder if i spelled that right. surely someone will tell me if i didn't.
  • in a few days i'll be in la.
  • not louisiana.
  • just ran spell check to make sure i spelled louisiana right.
  • i did, but it goes to show.
  • absolutely nothing.
  • that's what war is good for.
  • edwin starr, right? two "r"s, yes?
  • crack kills.
  • gotta find some good opera music. any suggestions?
  • wonder what the most fucked up update on this page was.
  • maybe this ranks up there.
  • funny thing is i don't mean half, more than half, of this shit.
  • it's just stuff that's on my mind.
  • surely there is more on my mind.
  • can't talk about all that though. surely a torrent of emails will follow.
  • did i spell torrent correctly?
  • not one for spelling. talking is better.
  • i stutter more than i'd like. esp, with people i'm nervous around.
  • where do all the lonely people come from?
  • a la the beatles.
  • who the fuck is elenor rigby? i'm sure i spelled her first name wrong.
  • i really don't care that much that my spelling sucks.
  • i do care in that it hurts the image people have of me.
  • vanity is retarded, but crucial.
  • what can be done?
  • the answer is always nothing. just like with war.
  • nihilism will get you nowhere.
  • but then again everything gets you nowhere.
  • right?
  • hedonism is the answer.
  • no it's not. there is a higher moral authority.
  • abbey road, let it be, and the white album.
  • those are the three i own. forgot about "let it be"
  • know you know, knowing is half the battle.
  • i know that i know nothing.
  • earthquakes are the shit.
  • earthquakes are bad.
  • population control is needed.
  • stupidity is population control.
  • you're such a realist.
  • wait, i thought you were an idealist.
  • oooh, contradiction. god chris you make me horny.
  • freud can suck deez.
  • i want you (she's so heavy) 7:46 minutes of pure beatles greatness.
  • i didn't know that lucy in the sky with diamonds was about drugs.
  • not until i was 15 or so.
  • does that make me dumb?
  • no.
  • but people would treat me as such if i had fessed up to it.
  • you should probably just delete this all, study, and goto sleep.
  • why would you insist on having this on your webpage?
  • people don't need to know that you're a freak.
  • you're not a freak, you just have a chemical imbalance.
  • fuck prozac. bozac.
  • i'm a writer, a poet, a genius i know it.
  • the beastie boys are fucking great. beastie boys, i love you.
  • and you too.
  • led zeppelin are the shit.
  • houses of the holy is better than led zeppelin I.
  • maybe even better than zoso, IV.
  • the beatles are better than led zeppelin.
  • nothey'renot.
  • never.
  • how many times have you opened the dictionary to save face?
  • too many.
  • how many more times. a good led zeppelin son.
  • actually a great led zeppelin song.
  • not smoking pot was probably the best thing you ever did for your memory.
  • you still need to study.
  • it won't help.
  • it doesn't matter.
  • it doesn't matter: a good wyclef jean track, latest album, the rock is the guest.
  • the rock is the epitome of what is wrong with society.
  • not really.
  • the wwf is shit though.
  • really really bad shit.
  • fuck the wwf.
  • 2:27
  • should get to bed by 3. should.
  • should.
  • should.
  • should.
  • should.
  • liking guns and roses makes you dumb.
  • not really. not at all.
  • you should dress better.
  • you should wear a dress.
  • jim wears dresses.
  • he's got problems?
  • or does he have answers?
  • he's got issues.
  • you've got issues.
  • tender is the night.
  • you listened to that song about 50 times in the span of 24 hours.
  • should have worded that differently.
  • at any rate, anyhoo. not long ago i thought anyhoo was anywho.
  • dumbass.
  • not really.
  • anyhoo. listened to that song many many times.
  • yet you still couldn't, in silence, recite it's melody or even its lyrics.
  • that first "it's" should be changed to: "its"
  • just so you don't think i'm dumb.
  • but you don't.
  • just a little retarded.
  • ha ha.
  • you make yourself laugh. that's not bad.
  • love's the greatest thing.
  • come on come on come on.
  • love's the greatest thing, that we have.
  • waiting for that feeling, to come.
  • blur said it. i'd have to agree.
  • dungey even agrees.
  • why use "even"? of course he agrees. bad diction.
  • diction means word choice, right?
  • red shoes are cool.
  • red is a good color, but blue is slightly better.
  • for most things.
  • lots of work to be done.
  • leave it all. leave it ALL. runawayandlive.
  • nah, that's too hard.
  • talkitdon'twalkit.
  • fear is your only god.
  • this isn't dark.
  • this sounds like something marc would say.
  • marc's classic.
  • i'm down with marc. i'm not down on marc though.
  • that is contrary to my sexual preference.
  • head out of the gutter.
  • fatboy slim - halfway between the gutter and the stars
  • right? don't have it, yet.
  • some of these allusions you'll get, others you won't.
  • who is "you?"
  • no one. maybe everyone.
  • bored yet?
  • bs2000 playing, the new stuff.
  • adrock is the most musically talented of the three.
  • now you see why A-U-C-H
  • taking all emcees out in the place.
  • sounds better on paul'sboutique.
  • it's the best album of all time. officially.
  • dust brothers had a lot to do with it though.
  • wish the beastie boys could claim all the genius of it.
  • they can't. they're still the shit.
  • being in debt is bad.
  • right?
  • filing for bankruptcy is the easy way out and it's bad.
  • right.
  • naked if i want to. a good song.
  • like the cover more than the orignal.
  • not a big fan of moby grape.
  • cat power is cool, moby grape were more influential.
  • right? i think. but you don't know.
  • nothing. again.
  • a sad song.
  • fa fa fa.
  • scorsese. under-rated. good. classic. taxi driver, easy to relate.
  • 2:40.
  • what a waste.
  • remember george clooney story in playboy:
  • old man on death bed says "what a waste, what a waste"
  • don't want to be like that.
  • regret nothing or, like in magnolia, regret all you want?
  • answer please.
  • nothing. again.
  • not depressed. not sad.
  • nothing. again.
  • seems bad. but not.
  • god the emails will ensue.
  • should just scrap this and sleep.
  • what a waste.
  • regret nothing.
  • regret all you want.
  • circle game. good song.
  • reminds me of ymca. good memories.
  • not going next year.
  • must discover country and self.
  • ha. the former will be no easy task. the latter is futile.
  • futility.com
  • ben stein.
  • matthew broderick. spell that right?
  • ferris bueller's day off. classic fun.
  • rainy day movie for sure.
  • foe life.
  • "mack 10 you know you rule hip-hop"
  • crazy night in la.
  • not louisiana.
  • jesse is a funny guy. drives like a crazy man.
  • maniac.
  • maniac is a funny movie. well the part i saw anyway.
  • scientist chases cat. catches it. squeezes out eyeball.
  • gross/funny. a pre-code film. 1933?
  • not going to be on film quiz.
  • definitely not going to be on midterm in 9 hours.
  • buy bluebook. 29 cents.
  • surely you have 29 cents.
  • seen and not seen. talking heads song. good.
  • this is longer than anyone would have wanted.
  • long enough to make studying impossible.
  • 2:46.
  • wasteful.
  • grades are important.
  • emails will ensue. fuck.
  • scrap this shit and save yourself.
  • this will make people laugh.
  • maybe.
  • hopefully people don't think i'm psycho.
  • that would suck.
  • if you think i'm crazy or something just keep it to yourself.
  • i've got enough to worry about.
  • hmmm, seems to be straying from the style. bad writer.
  • this can't be bad.
  • i understand like no one else.
  • you are me. i'm you.
  • perfect fit.
  • should buy magnolia dvd and boogie nights dvd.
  • think i already did buy magnolia dvd.
  • wasteful.
  • should have bought bum a dinner.
  • after watching roger and me, went searching for someone
  • someone to feed.
  • lots to give.
  • now somewhere to put it...
  • beat around the bush.
  • fuck bush.
  • how to break it to them?
  • back hurts.
  • the white man's got a god complex.
  • god. dog. hmmm.
  • stupid.
  • don't really think that. right?
  • think it.
  • know it to be false.
  • make no sense.
  • study.
  • robert plant knew what was up.
  • fuck he was the shit.
  • still sick. should sleep.
  • stay up all night and study.
  • better in the long run.
  • long run this.
  • michael stipe is pretty much the shit.
  • good music.
  • produces some bombass films too.
  • american movie.
  • being john malkovich.
  • probably more.
  • same michael stipe?
  • assume so.
  • ASS out of U and ME.
  • that's that nakabara would say.
  • nakabara was funny.
  • hate math, but math teacher funny guy.
  • writing like this makes you retarded.
  • quite the contrary young sir.
  • gridlock?
  • duh.
  • out of order. frozen republic.
  • 2:56.
  • what a waste.
  • national anthem. good song.
  • thom is so depressing.
  • he's got issues.
  • she's got issues, a good offspring song.
  • offspring are sellouts. not hip to like them.
  • note to self: be hip.
  • note to self: buy more cool clothes.
  • note to self: tattoo idea - gap on forehead.
  • i, too, wore 'i voted sticker' on forehead once.
  • wow.
  • it is possible.
  • thom, what are you saying?
  • note to self: have sex with bassist from radiohead.
  • note to self: limit homosexual innuendo to one per update.
  • vanity is more important than your first born.
  • longest update ever. gotta be.
  • must define 'longest.'
  • oooh, you're such a thinker.
  • ner.
  • johnny is funny. funny ha ha, not funny queer.
  • queer is a bad word.
  • you're bad for saying it.
  • typing it, whatever.
  • feel guilty. now!
  • imperative.
  • 11 away from 500.
  • too many cds.
  • never.
  • 3:04.
  • past bedtime. mission acomplished.
  • one "c" or two? i think two. you should change that.
  • you should at least check.
  • you won't remember anyway.
  • just like necessary.
  • one "c." guess you remember that, at least.
  • how bad would that look if it turned out to be two "c"s?
  • very very bad. people would hate you from now on.
  • really should study. if even for 10 minutes.
  • above all you should delete this whole update.
  • please delete it
  • please
  • please
  • i'm pleading
  • please
  • no reason for its existence
  • delete
  • delete
  • just do it.
  • now. delete it.
  • take it all back.
  • it's never too late.
  • steppenwolf song.
  • delete it
  • please.
  • please?
  • please!
  • not depressed.
  • please?
  • seriously feel just fine.
  • not kidding. seriously. weird. true.
  • maybe that prozac is working.
  • no prozac here.
  • just good ole anthony powers-esque positive thinking.
  • really.
  • should buy ok computer next.
  • didn't you say that about a lot of albums?
  • yes.
  • still should.
  • money shouldn't exist.
  • property is a bad idea.
  • didn't kill an ant today because i felt bad about it.
  • it's just an ant.
  • exactly.
  • just delete this update.
  • it's bizarre.
  • bound to freak people out.
  • bound to depress people.
  • bound to get negative press.
  • press?
  • bound to upset.
  • bound to do nothing good.
  • bound. i remember that movie. vaguely.
  • you were going to sleep a long time ago.
  • this is all me. not all of me. but it's all me.
  • don't mean a lot of it.
  • don't believe a lot of it.
  • thought all of it.
  • your job to discern which is which.
  • if you know me then you know.
  • please don't read this update.
  • should have said that at the beginning.


    • 11-19-00 (23:09)

  • had dinner at jonique and phil's. phil remained civil and cordial. go phil.
  • i think phil is going to have a car by summer time. he's making mad bank.
  • i, on the other hand, will well. nevermind.
  • life is a crock, a dupe, "nasty, brutish and short."


    • 11-19-00 (18:11)

  • today has been thoroughly uneventful.
  • talked to johnny last night, that was cool.
  • dinner at jonique and phil's in an hour. i'm going to count the number of times phil says something negative. should be a fun little exercise in futility.com
  • read some today. haven't watched a movie.
  • my sociology reading is retarded i know that despite reading the material i'm not going to do well. maybe i shouldn't care.
  • i think white, right-handed, non-handicapped, men work harder than other people; that's why they succeed.
  • so, not much to talk about right now.
  • listened to "the in sound from way out!" a few times today. the beastie boys album, not the perrey and kingsley one. i might be going insane if i listened to the perrey and kingsley album three times in a row.
  • was going to cut vern's hair but i guess he wants to watch tv instead.
  • gotta kill 45 minutes somehow.
  • i'm going to start killing everything that doesn't believe the same way i do.
  • homogeneity is the only way to go.
  • i wasn't in such a dark mood before, not sure what happened.
  • maybe i should just goto jonique's house now and get to studying since anything i do in between now and 7 will be a waste.
  • my stomach hurts.


    • 11-18-00 (23:47)

  • washed the dishes for an hour and a half today
  • made a mistake - turned on the tv. pulp fiction was on fox. they butchered the shit out of the 2 mins that i watched. sure, just rape one of the greatest films of all time by putting commercials in, editing it to shit, and silencing half the things they say. jeez.
  • i need stamps.
  • updated movies list. watched two tonight.
  • had some banana split action today, that was good shit.
  • have lots of studying to do tomorrow. hope that works out.
  • jonique came by today while i was popping pills. that was a surprise.


    • 11-18-00 (15:49)

  • i'm officially the most lazy piece of shit ever.
  • i think that thought is the highest form of self betterment.
  • listened to tender about 50 times last night. no joke. wow.
  • i think vern is back. maybe not. someone left a package inside and i hope it wasn't ups. nothing's missing so i don't really care. i don't understand why vern would be back already. maybe the managers put it inside so it wouldn't get stolen.
  • gotta eat and watch some movies. then i gotta study some sociology.
  • had some strange dreams last night. one of them was that i took apart an engine and was messing around with the camshaft. i wish i knew how to do that shit.
  • once gay people are seen as equals the world will perfectly equal. yay. how about children, overweight people, the handicapped, animals, etc. my point is that there always seems to be someone next in line to fight for. why can't we just treat beings equally?
  • "cries of impending doom rose from the soil...a million voices full of fear...and i begged: angel of the lord, what are these tortured screams? these are the cries of the carrots. you see, tomorrow is harvest day and to them it is the holocaust...and i roared i've seen the light - they have a consciousness."
  • march of dimes - a charity seeks to prevent infant mortality and birth defects - sent me all these custom return address labels. bonus. then i started to feel bad. so i donated 10 bucks. i'm such a suckah. i know they're legit so it's not so bad.
  • candle came out pretty good.


    • 11-18-00 (01:44)

  • took malcolm out today and ran some errands. ran okay, starting up was a bit rough. really really need to get around to a tune-up. i think there are some things i need. i should figure all that out so i can get down and dirty. or something.
  • listened to "tender" literally 20+ times tonight. that's a lot considering it's 7 minutes 40 seconds long. i don't usually do that with one song over and over again like that. i have before, but i don't think i've ever done it like i did tonight. i'd feel bad at this point if i didn't buy the single, at least. i'll give the album a test drive and see how it is. if it's decent then "13" could be my first blur album.
  • first time i heard that song was while christy (johnny's girlfriend and probably my future roommate) was listening to it. as i mentioned below, i hated it, and made my opinion known. so i officially feel like an asshole.
  • guilt is about as useful as ...
  • as i was trying to think of something that is completely useless i went over to my huge vanilla candle, which is getting closer to its end, and saw that it had a small hole on its side. so i took off some excess wax and was going to put it in the hole to patch it up. i rotated the candle so that i could work from a different angle. all three wicks are burning at this point, mind you. and all of a sudden two of the wicks go dead and i hear liqud pouring on my toolbox and the floor, beneath the candle. then i see that the melted wax pool has all gone through the bottom of the candle which is now completely broken apart. now i have wax all over the place. wax is pretty much impossible to get off the carpet. i could get mad or frustrated, but what's the point of that. ha. funny shit.
  • now i have a project - make a new candle with the remaining wax. sadly i don't drink soda so i don't have any aluminum cans. i'm going to go search the dumpster right quick.
  • life is the shit. you best recognize.
  • mission accomplished. had to go to the nearby park, but i found a 24 oz beer can. it'll be perfect for my candle. now if i could just find my wick. the small ones from the dead candle won't work. shite.
  • life is grand.
  • just found the old wick and it'll be perfect.
  • well that project took an hour. that was more than expected, but it should shape up nicely. waiting for it to cool.
  • heard the new ratm single today. first time i listened to the radio in several months. only did because i was in the car. it was the afrika bambaataa cover. pretty good shit. a lot different from the original, but that was the point.
  • well tender is still playing, i still haven't killed it. it's played over 30 times now for sure. jeez i've never listened to one song this many times in a row. november 17th will always be remembered by listening to this song.
  • it's 3:20 now. guess i should think about going to sleep. i guess i'm even a bit tired.
  • i should read my sociology shit tomorrow and maybe get the groundwork laid for studying that damn war book. i guess i'll be making a trip to the library either way.
  • i think i had more to say, but i'm high on candle fumes right now. had to disable the smoke alarm. i might pass out and die. if so my will is on the march 2000 update. send my regards to the world.
  • went out to eat lunch today. for dinner i had some great turkey, thanks to the grandma. the lunch was a basic chicken teriyaki bowl, th e good thing about it was that it was at this place in downtown which i've wanted to go to since freshman year. finally just went. three years of build-up and it wasn't even that spectacular. the chicks working there were really stupid too. like really stupid.
  • gotta sleep. gotsta see two movies tomorrow and study and all that silly shit in between.
  • it's a lot warmer in sylmar than it is in davis, but it's windy.


    • 11-17-00 (21:45)

  • i could see the beatles being my second favorite band once i have all the albums. this is one reason i've delayed getting their cds for so long, they're really going to disrupt the current hierarchy on the cd case.
  • why try and make a best of for the beatles? i guess the new album is good in that it just chose songs that reached number one on the charts so then there's no fighting over songs left out. still kind of pointless for a band like that. same with led zeppelin.
  • updated movies list.
  • i heard "tender" by blur one time and hated it from the very beginning. but as soon as it was over i realized that i liked it. finally downloaded it today. that song is a lot like 2001, the movie, in that respect. i remember walking out of 2001 and hating it. then later i realized that it kicks ass. i'm strange like that.
  • was thinking about some things i could have been good at. i think i could have been a good thief. sure i was caught once, but i was sloppy back then. i think i could be pretty good at it if i put some effort into it. i guess morals could be holding me back from my true calling. oh well.


    • 11-17-00 (18:53)

  • ran some errands today.
  • got new tires for the bike. looks pretty sweet and won't have to worry about cracks in the rear tire or thorns in the front. surprised that i was still able to ride it with all the problems those two tires had.
  • downloading some john zorn jazz stuff. he's the shit. we have a few of his 'masada' albums at the station, but i've never gotten around to buying anything by him. surprised to see him on napster, pleasantly.
  • vern is gone for the weekend. forgot about that until i got home and saw the note.
  • gonna be in the low sixties this week. yippee.


    • 11-17-00 (00:00)

  • updated movies list.
  • saw a girl in a 1967 beetle today. i knew it was a 67 because it was kept pretty much stock and 67 is my year so i'm all over that shit. talked to her for a while about bugs and such. there's definitely a community feeling when it comes to air-cooled vw owners. the water cooled owners don't seem as down. that's too bad.
  • yesterday i was talking about jesus being stolen to a co-worker, while checking out a book to this well-mannered, well-groomed, patron. he  just kinda smiled at the prospect that my former scooter's name was jesus. today he came back up to me and told me a sob story about his lame friend who took his book and how it's going to be like 2 days late. he asked if there was any kind of fine. of course there will be a fine, sir. probably in the neighborhood of 40 bucks. shite, he said. then i asked if he had ever been fined before. he said no. i said if you just bring the book to me i wouldn't mind do you, a poor student and fellow member of the proletariat, a small favor. despite the bourgeoise not teaching me the methods by which i might clear fines, i have gathered such knowledge through my years of working here. time equals wisdom. so i hooked a brotha up and he thanked me.  later he came back and said "what's your name?" my name is chris. "cool...if i ever get a scooter i'm going to name it Jesus" i was touched.
  • someone at the library checked out a book called "denying the holocaust" asked her what cases people made to try and deny it. there is some scientific evidence...residue on the walls of the gas chambers and such. kinda interesting, though false, i'm sure. people have checked out books telling them how to design airplanes. i guess i shouldn't be surprised by now. grad students, as their thesis, sometimes even write out the steps required to make a nuclear bomb. not that hard i hear.
  • gotta go.


    • 11-16-00 (18:38)

  • stayed up late last night and watched american movie, again. that's five times this year. five times in the last six months. updated movieslist.
  • today was pretty good i must say.
  • learned a lot of shit. actually it was more that i learned of the framework of a lot of things about which i've already been thinking. this quarter has been that way...transcendentalism, modernism, post-modernism, structuralism, all the -isms you can think of.
  • was on my way from school the other day thinking about life, the world, etc. when i questioned why i think about these things so much. i think it's because when i was young i didn't have any friends, didn't watch much tv, didn't have a nintendo, and didn't read. i'm not so happy about the fact that i didn't have friends or that i didn't read, but all those things led me to being alone in my room, just thinking. i remember sitting in my room bored just thinking about what to do and since that was a worn subject my mind would eventually wander. i'm not saying that i was thinking about transcendentalism and marxism at the age of 10, but it got me in the habit of thinking, a lot.
  • humans are very habitual beings.
  • i was reading some of MLK's autobiography just the other day and he mentions thoreau as being a great influence on him. of course i knew that gandhi influenced MLK's views a shitload, as well - passive resistance, civil disobedience, etc. then in class today we talked a lot about that shit. it was good.
  • got back my popular culture quiz grade. let's just say i might have to talk with the professor about his weak ass testing methods.
  • when i'm a teacher there will be no multiple choice questions, especially ones which are so specific that unless you read the text you won't be able to answer it. i think what it comes down to is that i value ideas far more than facts. when he asks who came up with such and such a theory and then asks what exactly that theory said i pretty much stink. when he asks me to apply what i'm supposed to be learning in class to something in my environment then i do well. i shouldn't care so much about grades, i used to not give a crap, but this year i do for some reason so now i have to read the book. read the book, not to glean ideas, but to learn specifics. oh joy.
  • i make no excuse for my not reading, but i still think mulitiple choice tests in social science courses are retarded.
  • thoreau has some crazy ideas.
  • political science isn't a science. why must so many people insist on breaking everything down to a system of equations and formulas?
  • my dad says he doesn't believe in math. he's such a postmodernist. haha.
  • it seems the more i learn about politics the more torn i become regarding the role of the state. there are compelling arguments either way - for more or less government. i'm boring most of you.
  • it was sunny outside today, but still a bit on the cold side.
  • vern has a shirt which reads "most people talk about the weather, we don't" i pointed out to him that the pictures on the shirt were of lenin, marx, and...i forget who the other guy is, but the point is that the sad fact of the matter is that people talk about the weather more than they talk about politics, society, and the like. there are people who would have skipped over all my talk about politics and when they got to that last line about the weather been happy to hear that the weather was clearing up. i guess if that's what makes you happy then you can talk with all your fucking frat. brothers about the weather and sports all day.
  • on the flip side i can talk about politics with my intellectual coffee house (not really) types and feel high and mighty that we have a firm grasp on all the problems that plague our society. i can even make grand plans regarding my eventually solving some of the world's ills. some would say that neither group matters because nothing really matters anyway. some might make a claim to a higher moral good which can derive from being a good person. the answer is that no one knows. the answer for me is that spending my paycheck on tommy jeans will make me quasi-happy for as long as the aura of the new purchase lasts - not very long. buying a meal for a forgotten human being, now named "Bum on the corner," will make two people happy, won't rely on the exploitation of thai kids who make tommy jeans, and will possibly even restore some faith in human kind for the guy whose dinner i bought.
  • if it were only possible to create feelings of brotherhood among all people and lessen their feelings of selfishness.
  • never going to happen. fuck it all.
  • i've been asked before why i voted for nader. why i am an idealist when it comes to society, why i insist that military spending should be cut. people say "well in a perfect world there wouldn't be war, but this isn't a perfect world...." i didn't have a good way of explaining myself before. i would say that i choose to 'vote my dream' or 'act as if it were possible.' dungey quoted gandhi today who said "be the change you want to see in the world." that's precisely what i have wanted to say. thank you gandhi for being more eloquent than i ever will and thank you dungey for educating me.
  • that's why i voted for change, that's why i voted for someone rather than against someone. that's why i say the military should stop waging wars and stick to defending us.
  • don't let the status quo get you down.
  • maybe i talk too much. maybe no one cares about this. maybe you'll all just goto nike.com and learn about all the great things they're doing to, er i mean, for the thai people and you won't have any worries. maybe you'll think about it for a few minutes, sit in front of the tube and go back to your receiver mode. be passive, it's far easier. ignorance is bliss.
  • knock the smile off my face.
    • updated while listening to:

    Orbital: In-Sides
    11-15-00 (22:59)
  • meat was good, the bbq sauce made it even better. i don't eat red meat very often these days. i pretty much only eat fowl and sometimes the sinful pork. a good hamburger is great on occasion though.
  • sick animation festival was funny and very gross at times. good shit overall.
  • the website server has been down lately, but it's up again so i can finally upload my updates.
  • after going out tonight i felt like i didn't have anything to do tomorrow, then i realized that i have class and work and more class and more work.
  • need more jewel cases.
  • been eating a lot of ice cream lately.
  • i'd say i'm officially sick, but it's really mild. so it could either get worse or just be mild for a while and then go away. colds are pretty stupid.
  • got someone to cover for me next friday so my thanksgiving plans haven't been foiled.
  • feeling hungry again. maybe i should make a baked potato. damn i'm full of good cheap ideas.
  • got a beatles cd on ebay, should be coming next week. so the collection begins.
  • two girls at work today said that i don't look like the type to have a girlfriend. i told them to shut the fuck up, go home, wash their face, and sleep. or something.
  • been getting more hangups lately. telemarketers are great fun. can't wait to talk to one. one called me up while jon and i were studying some political science crap. he said he was calling up law-abiding citizens asking for donations. i informed him that i wasn't a law-abiding citizen. he redirected. wouldn't you like to save the whales, firemen, (insert down trodden species here)? i gave him a hard time and eventually it was over. it was fun in the meantime.
  • i feel sorry for telemarketers, but i also hate the good ones. i think he was one of the good ones so i didn't feel too bad about giving him shit.
  • gotta get back on track with this movie bizness.
    • 11-15-00 (16:43)
  • BBQ tonight. watching spike and mike animation festival type shit afterwards. won't count as a movie, but will still set me back about 8 bucks. rip off.
  • talked to some people at work today. i found out that there are actually people on this planet who haven't heard of led zeppelin. sad but true. i was really surprised to hear about that. i was surprised the last time i conducted such a survey and discovered that most people hadn't even heard of john coltrane or miles davis. jeez i'm not sure what's wrong with the world.
  • i'm really really hungry right now.
  • you've come a long way baby
  • fatboy slim is pretty derned good.


    • 11-14-00 (01:18)

  • raiders lost tonight. got to see most of the first half before class started. damn broncos.
  • on yahoo weather it gives the temperature low as 28 on wednesday, but on the news they said the low would be about 35. what gives? that's a big difference since it could mean snow or not. bastards. if it's going to be this cold it may as well be a bit colder and snow. being 35 and raining is about as bad as it gets. i'm close to campus though so it's not a big deal.
  • might not be getting sick, as i thought.
  • tomorrow will tell. that's what i said about today. oh well.
  • my feet are always cold.
  • i'm going to just break down and buy a whole shitload of socks one of these days. maybe i should just wait until consumer day.
  • i think two years ago instead of buying presents for people i was going to just tell them how i felt about them in a heartfelt letter. didn't end up happening. did it for my mom, but no one else. getting mushy is hard with most people.
  • in other news my server still sucks butt.
  • i'm going to sleep soon.
  • "rapunzel, rapunzel, let down your hair
  • so i can climb up and get into your underwear"
  • political ads on windows media player streaming video. here. i suggest viewing the two nader ads. funny. great. true.


    • 11-14-00 (00:00)

  • film quiz tomorrow, will study a lot while at work. studying some right now. can't you tell?
  • my light is freaking out. i'm going to kill it. anything that freaks out must die.
  • the keys to a happy life are: care only about yourself, don't think very much (after all ignorance IS bliss), and never lose power to your anyone. with those three pieces of advice you will most certainly have a good life. morality? only those who their lives in abject poverty believe in any form of morality.
  • if anyone buys into that shit then why the hell are they my friend?
  • long day, but not too shabby overall.
  • led zeppelin I is the shit.
  • lately my server has been crappy. i guess you can always try the mirror page, link at the top.
  • i'm not even able to upload this update. very white.
  • the county is dicking me over for a few hundred bucks. i asked if there was any potential jail time for not paying the fine, the woman said no. so i guess i'll be okay for a while.


    • 11-13-00 (02:25)

  • 1 ton of toxic waste is produced by the u.s. military every minute.
  • "It is my view that the vegetarian manner of living would most beneficially influence the lot of mankind." Albert Einstein.
  • nothing to say. i'm sleeping now.


    • 11-12-00 (23:36)

  • lost some respect for moby. he said he thought nader sucked ass because he stole votes from gore. didn't know moby was retarded. oh well, i still like his music.
  • so what about the electoral college. minority rights versus democratic rule. filibuster is another good example. undemocratic? bad? something to think about.
  • there was a nader ad which used the same structure as the mastercard ads ... wedding ring $10,000, caterer $5,000, ever-lasting happiness - priceless...use mastercard. remember? well the nader ad did the same thing, only gave it a political twist. mastercard sued nader for $15 million saying that "priceless" was their trademark. nader pointed out that by that rationale they were putting a price on the word "priceless."
  • capitalism is great. right?
  • i've got about 10 people trying to download mp3s from me. kind of annoying with this gay connection.
  • waiting for the sun.
  • scott's birthday today. he's 22 and loving it i'm sure.
  • i'm not a big fan of birthdays.
  • work didn't suck too much.
  • it is as frigid as my sex life outside.
  • might rain tomorrow. who cares.
  • quiz on tuesday.
  • being political and caring is a waste of time. i hereby give up all that useless shit and will begin to devote myself to self betterment instead.
  • i don't even think my sponsor works these days so there goes that theory.
  • i should just sleep and shut the fuck up. feeling blah.

    • 11-12-00 (16:21)
  • doesn't look like i'm going to watch a movie today.
  • woke up too late to get anything good done.
  • have work from 6-11 tonight, no fun there.
  • i think i'm going to start using "bush" in the same context as "white" - both denoting capitalist, racist, ignorant tendencies.
  • 49ers whooped ass. good shit.
  • some huge news - played two rounds of frisbee golf today vern +4, chris +3...second round vern +1, chris -3. that's a new course record. vern discovered that we were playing the 8th hole wrong this whole time. we had been making it easier. so that didn't have any positive effect on my score. now vern is going to have to step it up and match or break the new record. i got pretty lucky on the last hole, i had a far par putt and sunk it for a par on the hole and sealed the -3 on the course. it was almost epic. i was doing somersaults and shit.
  • i wish i could do somersaults
  • woke up at 9am, 10am, 11am, 12pm, and then finally at 2pm today. not my idea of fun. my mouth was dry all night.
  • watched about 7 minutes of baywatch today. it's such classic bullshit. really quite fun to watch actually, in a purely mocking way. if i watched the whole show i might cry.
  • i gotsta go eat some of that leftover pizza. this pizza weighed (seriously) 5 lbs. it's stuffed and has all kinds of crazy shit in and on it. papa murphy's is the shit. i'm hungry.
  • fuck work.
  • fuck bush.
  • fuck people who don't think.
  • if you think then you're probably a better person than most so pat yourself on the back.
  • a clean shaven face is almost as good as a swift kick in the ass. i have no idea where i came up with that. it was just the first thing that came to mind.
  • had ice cream for breakfast. chris there is something wrong with you.
  • might be getting sick, hopefully it either happens or doesn't. i don't want it to linger around and then hit while i'm supposed to be on vacation. oh god that would suck ass.
  • i haven't gotten a cold in a while actually.
  • i just realized that i have almost 500 cds. i'm not kidding. i've thought for the longest time that i was at 380 something, not 480 something. jesus lord. i was reading my march update and saw that i had 387 cds in march. that means i've gotten 102 cds since march 23rd. holy fuck.


    • 11-11-000 (23:42)

  • six hours of work today, bor-ing.
  • jonique came by today with cookies, i think i was still asleep when they were here, even though my eyes were open.
  • i sleep a lot lately, usually while trying to watch a movie. kinda sucks.
  • can't find my switchblade, it'll turn up.
  • i thought more people were going to vote in this election. i thought nader was going to get 3 times the votes he got. what do i know? i had a hunch that bush would win. i could end up being wrong on all of these predictions.
  • really wish i could read hours on end without losing concentration or my mind.
  • the best thing dick nixon ever did was not demand a recount, he didn't challenge the results of the 1960 election at all; even though dead people in chicago voted for kennedy. if gore and bush can't do this for the country the way nixon did then they can suck by sac.
  • dewey defeats truman. hmmm, so you're telling me this isn't the first time the media miscalled an election? no way!
  • there's a cop in some southern state who refuses to give out tickets to people. i think this cop is the shit. if i were a cop i'd be just like him. he'll stop people, warn them, instruct them, and let them go - without a ticket.
  • "the vanity of others offends our taste only when it offends our vanity" - Nietzsche. working the in library has it's advantages. liberalist thinkers would have loved this quote.
  • it's getting cold these days.
  • monique taped the daily show when michael moore was a guest. it was classic - michael moore said that the U.N. should step in and have a group of nations come over here to re-adminster the elections, just like the u.s. does with other nations when corrupt elections are suspected. michael moore has his shit together.
  • michael is really hard for me to type. odd.
  • found the switchblade. it was near the closet and i think i know why. freak.
  • nothing tomorrow until 6pm.
  • if the weather is mild i should work on painting at least one of the rims on the bug. i want to pain them white. if that doesn't look good i'll goto black, but i think white will be nice. better than they look now. those rims are probably as old as the car. it really is amazing how much different malcolm looks these days.
  • i wish it was warmer outside.
  • i'm down with tom petty.
  • wonder how i did on that midterm.
  • put stickers up on malcolm. "personality goes a long way." - jules winfield
  • "just because you are a character doesn't mean you have character" - winston wolf
  • updated movies list.
  • "I believe anything that gets people to read is worthwhile. Enduring the snobbery of literati and being forced to read books we did not relate to is what turned so many of us away from books--in junior high, high school, or later." PoBronson.
  • jon sold the rover.
  • new orbital album out in march. yip yip.


    • 11-11-00 (00:35)

  • updated movies list.
  • saw a bit of some abc sitcom called 'two guys and a girl.' it was actually somewhat interesting because of the way it was shot. it was pretty much a silent sitcom, used music, but i didn't hear anyone talk at all. i was surprised to see a tv show like that. had some funny moments. bonus points for doing something different.


    • 11-10-00 (15:41)

  • it's interesting to me how all the laws of human nature can be broken so easily. political and social theorists almost always agree, to varying degrees, that humans are self-serving beings. greed and vanity are dominate. interactions between people are often marked by these traits. psychologists will more or less say the same thing - humans are more interested in self-preservation than anything else. you look at the course of human history and this is the overwhelming truth. there are exceptions of course. vern said last night, echoing the beatles and countless others, that 'all you need is love.' love breaks all the rules of the game. i'd step in front of a bus to save my sister, i know this. my mom would probably do the same for me. if there was a way to make this universal then the world would be a better place. a LOT better.
  • went to pg&e just now and became the guarantor for phil.
  • had to look up guarantor to make sure i spelled it right.
  • off to the post office. maybe i'll do some laundry, probably not.
  • work on the car maybe a bit.
  • watch some movies most likely.
  • get some poon, not a chance.
  • have lunch, most definitely.
  • speaking of which, my grandmother sent me some really really good looking turkey today. holy shit does it look good.
  • oh, almost forgot...my other grandmother is getting married again. some crazy shit.


    • 11-10-00 (02:36)

  • slacked on the movies tonight. got really tired.
  • not much to do tomorrow so i'll probably get some random shit done.
  • washed malcolm today, looking good.
  • while i was at work doing anything but working i read this book about the supreme court. there was a court case in 1964 which tried to challenge the constitutionality of the 1964 civil rights act. the case was called (no big surprise here) Heart of Atlanta Motel vs. U.S. it amazes me that people from the south are pretty much always wrong. hmmm. the motel wanted to be able to discriminate against people of color and felt it was their right to take away the rights of other people, i mean not hire people because of no good reason, i mean not hire people because they were born differently. uh, yea.
  • i wonder if the south will ever look at their past and say "we've always been wrong...maybe we should think more." probably not.
  • then again people like nader who really care about the country and intend to do something for it don't get elected either.
  • my midterm in dungey's class was hectic. there was so much stuff to write about and only about 70 mins to work with. he's a great teacher.
  • i want to be the kind of teacher who gives the students so much to write about that they barely have time to say it all. that way they've learned something. i won't require reading. i won't have multiple choice tests. i won't make the content of the test a mystery. honestly, why do some teachers try to hide what is/isn't going to be on their tests? what is wrong with them?
  • i'm going to go to dungey's political science 5 (problems in american government) class next quarter just for fun. i've already taken the class, but i know that he'll do a kick ass job teaching it.
  • took a long nap, late tonight. bad idea.
  • didn't go to that party. i'm incomplete.
  • my phone is wack. i need to get a real phone.
  • post office and pg&e tomorrow.
  • i was on my bike coming home from work and cruising past everyone and i re-realized (there's gotta be a better word for that) that when i'm on my bike i feel the most control in my life. i'm whizzing past everybody, swerving in and out of freshmen, actually moving, getting somewhere with my own labor, and i'm completely in control of what happens. i think confidence is the most applicable word when talking about me and my bike riding. i have no confidence when i talk with people, male or female. i'm usually not good on the phone. when i'm driving there are a lot more things that go wrong. when i'm in class i could get called on and have no clue what to say. when i'm on the bike, though, i feel like i've got more control. even if some idiot swerves right in front of me i'm able to avoid collision, under most circumstances. of course if i was in a bike race i'd get dusted and would probably fall at the start because it would be so crowded. but relative to most davis bikers...
  • the longest paragraph of this update so far was dedicated to me bragging about my biking abilities. i'm such a self-centered bastard. i should rename this page to "chris miller - master of the fucking free world"
  • the week is over, it usually ends quicker than expected. probably because the first two days are so long and shitty.
  • i had planned on taking my 24" crowbar to my old monitor after i heard bush won. ended up not doing it, but it could still be fun to do in the future. i'd feel bad about the mess.
  • office space is a decent movie with some classic characters and really funny moments. if you've seen it then you might understand that segue.
  • segue to deez nuts.
  • daft punk are good. this album reminds me of freshman year. yes, yes you do care.
  • the end of grapes of wrath is still epic. the movie was only pretty good up to that point and then it all came together. jeesh.
  • love, love is a verb. love is a do word. i'm down with massive attack, but not amazed by them.
  • if not for my midterm i'd be in santa cruz right now. as it turns out i have 11 hours of work between sat. and sun. i guess the money will be good.
  • i think that living with johnny would be fun. he's a fun guy overall and he'd keep me occupied. of course christy is pretty dope too.
  • i wonder which one of my friends is going to get married first. if i counted Doc and co. in there then i might say tristan. if i didn't count them then it gets a lot harder. i'd probably lean towards jon. who knows maybe phil will meet some chick and just go head over heels.
  • head over heels? that just doesn't make any sense to me.
  • i could care less. it's "i couldn't care less" get it right. chris you are a nit-picky bastard.
  • i'm taking up donations for my summer trip starting now. i don't know exactly what it's going to entail, but i know that i'll need some money. q-tip asks "what is paper if it doesn't have a president?" q-tip is good like that. so either you can send me a check or you can click on my sponsor like 10 times a day until summer and i'll get about 200 bucks for that. wow, now that i think about it like that my sponsor could actually be making me some real dough. 10 times a day at 10 cents is a buck a day for the next 7 months is about 210 days...210 bucks. a) i did all that in my head b) that's a lot of money.
  • speaking of money i've decided to sell my soul on ebay, the item number - if you want to bid on it - is 45979666. thanks.
  • got the old stickers off of malcolm today. going to put on three new ones tomorrow - on the windows of course. led zeppelin, ratm, and nirvana. kurt cobain was pretty much a genius he needed some paxil, but he was a genius.
  • we talked about hegemony in the popular culture class today. we talked about how hegemony sets the standards in society, thoughts, ideals, etc. nothing really new. what was interesting was that one theorist claimed that bob marley would have been part of the structure because, although he preached peace and was anti-capitalism, he was making money for Island records. thus it was deduced by many that someone of the counter-culture cannot be autonomous - they're always going to be part of the ruling class, in a way. of course one girl in my group brought this up and (while looking at my rage against the machine shirt) said that rage against the machine was a good example of this. she also dubbed them "fuel the machine." what a bitch. so i kindly pulled my maglight out of my backpack and beat her over the head with it. er, rather, i likened it to what malcolm x said - you see a group of people in a car, they're going the opposite direction that you need and want to go, but in order to get to that place you need to get in the car. so you get in the car and try to give them directions. does getting in the car mean that you are supporting where they are going? i think not. listen, the civil rights movement of the 1960s had to fight against the same system that had court decisions which said "separate is equal." in order to change that system they had to go to the same supreme court system (although not the same supreme court) and get that precedent overturned - brown vs. board - separate is inherently unequal, duh. so if rage against the machine or radiohead or public enemy need to go through the music industry to get the word out that's fine by me. none of those bands are preaching one thing and practicing another. none of those bands are living it large on an island in the caribbean. public enemy has even tried to release their music online in an attempt to subvert the music industry's stranglehold. contracts, though, are a bitch.
  • i hate to say it, but life is about making compromises on occasion. there are some things i won't compromise. i think you get the points i was trying to make a) the girl was wrong wrong wrong b) the theorist who concocted that pile of shit was retarded c) i'm always right so listen to me.
  • i'm so full of myself of course i mean it only in jest. jest so you know. har har.
  • pixies - where is my mind?
  • need to watch a few movies tomorrow.
  • i've got to figure out a way to test my students' ability to think. essays are good, i also like the idea of oral tests. anytime i say oral it just sounds so wrong in the same sense that premarital sex is wrong - that is that's it's not really wrong.
  • i'll have to work out the logistics later i suppose.
  • i have real problems focusing. i try to read sometimes and i honestly can't get through a paragraph without thinking about something else. sometimes i'll be so occupied with trying to concentrate that i won't retain anything that i've read. i'll get all focused and ready to bear down on the books and i'll start reading all focused like and a couple sentences through i'll think to myself "hey you're actually focusing and reading. life is weird. fucking niners. that chick was hot, but she's probably stupid. look you're studying, way to go. wait what did you just read. fuck. fuck this world. what a tard. you need to take some drugs or something. this book is just dumb anyway. go out and live your life rather than studying. now you're just rationalizing it. okay read that over again. no don't waste your time, just make the next paragraph count. chris you don't even read so why start now? how much overdraft protection do i have these days? i hope that rent check didn't bounce. damn she's cool. you're reading right? okay maybe you should just skim. hmmm, this guy makes some good points about war. best war film ever? gotta be full metal jacket. paths of glory was great too though. is there a distinction between war films and anti-war films? well maybe it would be saving private ryan, that wasn't really an anti-war film, more of a look at war rather than a take on war. why can't you speak as well as you think? unarticulate, stuttering bastard. don't be such an ass to yourself. friends should be shrinks not vise versa. fucking bush. gore's no bonus either. i don't like this book maybe i'll read something from my sociology class. maybe i would if i had the book. i don't want to get on my bike and go to the library now. argh. maybe i'll just go online and see what the deal is there. what a cop out. vern's vespa is smelling the house up i think these gas fumes are going to kill me. you're a paranoid bastard."
  • that was the first time i've ever really done anything like a stream of consciousness, that was fun and very very accurate to most of my reading experiences. i hope now you understand more fully what it's like to be chris - a deranged, demented, disturbed, young man. reminds me of the david bowie song "i'm deranged." it's on the lost highway soundtrack. you best recognize.
  • this update has been far longer than expected. those are always the best though i suppose.
  • i'll try never to feel good about my abilities again because i know that bragging is bad, antisocial, despicable behavior which should be systematically wiped out through the use of social exclusion.
  • sleep shall be good for us all. one day i'll look back at this updated and just shake my head, probably laugh a little, then i'll...i was going to say something but that would be seriously over the top and i value self-perservation more than the cheap laughs i'm sure it would get. hobbes and locke win again. vanity controls. ahhh. fuck em. i was going to say this: "one day i'll look back at this updated and just shake my head, probably laugh a little, then i'll goto the bathroom and wank it." not sure why i was going to say (said) that. mainly because the sentence felt like it was building towards something funny but i couldn't come (har har) up with anything else...as the old adage goes - when all else fails talk about masturbation. i just had a crazy case of deja vu. guess i overcame vanity this time, they're still probably right though.

    • my reaction to the news that bush won. this, of course, was later retracted.
    11-09-00 (01:31)
  • updated cdlist.
  • i hope i do well on the midterm tomorrow. there's so much shit we need to talk about. dungey is a great teacher.
  • "Patrick Ewing has offered to donate one of his kidneys to Alonzo Mourning if the ailing Miami Heat center ever needs a transplant. "You know I will always be there for him," Ewing said Tuesday after a shootaround in Miami. "If my kidney matches, I'll be happy to donate one. If it comes down to that. He knows that." Mourning has a common but serious kidney disease that is forcing him to miss this season. It is not yet known whether he will need a kidney transplant. Ewing and Mourning both played at Georgetown and remain close friends despite their fierce NBA battles. They work out together during the offseason, and Ewing is the godfather to Mourning's newborn daughter, Myka Sydney. They spoke Monday when Ewing arrived in Miami and planned to spend time together Tuesday night at Mourning's home. Ewing said he and Mourning have not approached doctors. "
  • now that's pretty fucking cool. i had always thought they were big time rivals.
  • an interesting thought - inequalities within people are only able to truly be exploited because of the social and political contracts we all agree to. for this reason people like bill gates are able to be so much more powerful than you and me. since this is the case wouldn't it stand to reason that this same social contract should provide for some counter-measures to combat inequality? the only reason the republicrats are so rich is because we have all entered into an agreement to coexist under the same set of rules and have, for the most part, upheld our end of the bargin. of course this is a normative question, but i still feel that because the social contract allows some people to get ahead while others fall behind, it should also have some sort of welfare function. we are all equal (both in the Hobbesian sense that we are all equally vulnerable to a violent death and in the Lockean sense that we all have an equal right to rule) thus the outcome of any social contract we enter should not make that natural equality non-existent, yet it oviously has.
  • i doubt i articulated myself well enough, it's 0230 so i should sleep. ask me about it later if you care or are lost by my ramblings.


    • 11-09-00 (00:21)

  • updated movies list.
  • studied for the midterm tomorrow. we shall see about that bizness.
  • forecast calls for rain. fuck.
  • measure O passed in davis, good news. i'm glad people up here seem to value the environment a bit.
  • prop. 36 passed, good news. prop. 38 failed, good news.
  • bush/gore won, bad news. nader didn't get 5%, horrible news.
  • no one is mentioning this, not sure why - GORE stole votes from NADER, not vise versa. jesus christ.
  • beastie boys delayed even more now. fuck that shit.
  • seems like the most dangerous thing in davis is being a professor. last year two profs. died in a boating accident. this year one was on that singapore plane crash, he survived. crazy shit.
  • toyota has a new car (prius, i think) which looks like a decent car for the future. small, economical, more environmentally friendly. good shit.


    • 11-08-00 (02:13)

  • updated movies list.
  • i'll never forget this night.
  • the whole election thing is way out of hand.
  • the electoral college really is dumb. bush can die.
  • i was talking with vern and company during the break in film class today and the teacher (pretty darn cool guy) comes up and stand around listening to us talk about the election. i said something about FL possibly going to Bush, not Gore - as the media had called it. the teacher said "ah fuck." it was so great.
  • at the end of the class he gave us the heads up that bush looked to be winning the election. i got pretty depressed.
  • now it's all stupid close and shit. nader is going to get shit for it too. i just know it. people are retarded.
  • nader got a lot fewer votes than i thought. gore stole from nader, not the other way around - get it straight.


    • 11-07-00 (23:14)

  • Choosing between the lesser of two evils means that you are still choosing evil - Jerry Garcia
  • fuck bush.
  • fuck my server.
  • fuck this world.
  • fuck my lack of any semblance of self-esteem.


    • 11-06-00 (22:12)

  • got a B on my film quiz. i think most people did better than that so maybe i should read the book next time.
  • my sociology class is the worst so far which is unexpected. i should read the book for tomorrow's quiz. his quizzes are really retarded.
  • scanned the pictures of malcolm (old and new) while on campus today. also got a few pics of vern, jon and i on jesus.
  • i think i'm tired of getting bad grades so i'm going to at least start to make a little effort from now on.
  • today was good overall. for some reason getting a B on my film quiz kinda bummed me out, that's unusual. i'm unusual.
  • did some prop. research while at work so i have that pretty much figured out. going to wake up early and get that done. it's so hard being a citizen.
  • those scanned pics are up now.
  • got the new bs2000 single, different, but good.
  • got all the original tracks which rage against the machine decided to cover. now i will know what the original sounds like before i hear their take on it. that's cool i guess.
  • the server is being really stupid so i'm not sure i can upload anything tonight.
  • "Member Web Site Servers - Some member services may be experiencing difficulties"
  • vote tomorrow or i won't be your friend.


    • 11-06-00 (02:14)

  • updated movies list.
  • two small items to take care of by tomorrow morning.
  • i haven't been saying gay very often lately. i think that's overall a good thing. i'll need to come up with some as versatile.
  • white is good to use in certain situations, but not as often as gay.
  • i've been saying 'wack' more often.
  • should have seen the SNL show tonight. and the simpsons premiere. heard the x-files shindig wasn't anything special. no surprise there. overall i should just watch tv more, i think it would help to be more in tune with my peers. har har.
  • my back needs cracking. i used to be good at it. i also used to get sore afterwards. i used to run. i used to care about money. i used to watch the wwf. i used to have shit for brains. i even used to think the beastie boys weren't very good. i used to want to die for my country. i used to think that the death penalty was a good answer. i used to think that "bitches ain't shit but hoes and tricks" as snoop dogg said. i used to get really worried about stupid shit. i used to despise rap, then i discovered its beauty. i used to think that the fifth was his best symphony, now i know that the ninth is beethoven's best. i used to take my parents for granted. i used to think that nothing really mattered in the long run, now i know it's true, but for this very reason i should try to be a good person while i'm here. i used to think that my vote didn't matter, i still do and that's why i'm going to vote my conscience. i used to think that this update was going to be short and sweet so i could move on to my papers.
  • one paper for film class, the other for my war class. not too psyched about either.
  • played frisbee golf again today. vern was +1, i was even. vern was -2 with the last two holes to go, fell apart big time. we've birdied six out of the nine holes on the course, just never all in the same game. the moral of the story is - we have the potential to go -6, but the best score so far has been vern's -2. enough dork talk for now.
  • speaking of dorks...jon came over today. jon isn't really a dork, he's down. at any rate he came over and we laid out the ground work for this great paper i'm working on this very second. we went out to lyon's for some sundaes and various sundries of the sweets variety. i had jon and vern's scraps. the trickle down theory works only on the micro level, i've concluded.
  • i think if i got a girlfriend i wouldn't screw it up this time.
  • told this girl at work today (she's the sorority type) that she should stay away from guys until graduate school. i told her about the time when one guy broke my heart and how bad he made me feel. i wonder if she actually thinks i'm gay now. ho hum.
  • listening to westbam for the first time in a while. it's pretty much my all-nighter CD. brings back memories of the mountain dew days back in late 99 and early 2000. i forgot which quarter it was but i had about 40 pages of writing due in one week. ahhh, nothing quite like screwing yourself over.
  • speaking of which i'm going to goto the bathroom real quick.
  • so that was a lame joke, but the opportunity came so i had to try and pull it off.
  • can you imagine it being pulled off? ouch.
  • right, so now i really should just get to work.
  • i'm severely disturbed and i don't think anyone really understood any of that. ho hum.


    • 11-05-00 (01:28)

  • rage against the machine is coming out with their covers album december 5th. good shit. even covered epmd, wow.
  • MC5, The Stooges, EPMD, Bob Dylan, Minor Threat, The Rolling Stones, Afrika Bambaataa, Devo, Volume 10, Erik B and Rakim, Cypress Hill. In keeping with the spirit and concept of the Renegades album, a newly remixed, alternate version of Bruce Springsteen’s “The Ghost of Tom Joad” (previously only available as a single along with Rage’s 1997 home video) was also included.
  • plan on getting a lot done tomorrow.
  • looks like i won't be going to santa cruz this weekend unless i go early friday. thursday i have a midterm i forgot about (mainly because he moved the date from tuesday to thursday).
  • need to find out about all the propositions and local candidates tomorrow.
  • i should goto sleep now.


    • 11-04-00 (23:29)

  • updated movies list.
  • played two rounds of frisbee golf today - +3 on the first round (vern got -2), -1 on the second (vern got +5).
  • did some laundry.
  • phil doesn't think my life is exciting so i'm going to change the way i live from now on.
  • my computer's clock is having issues...loses time pretty quickly.


    • 11-04-00 (02:31)

  • my hands are starting to get callous. because of pull ups, nothing more.
  • luke has started updating his page again. about time. the updates aren't as lively as they once were. too bad.
  • cut my hair tonight, thanks largely to jon. put the sun-in crap up in it and i think it's a little lighter.
  • i need my radiohead phone. i think my mom has it somewhere. cordless phones can be pretty dumb.
  • equality is impossible. fuck. still gotta try i suppose.
  • was going to give blood today, but i was kinda tired and figured that it wasn't such a good idea for that reason. i have to do it one of these days.
  • walk the walk motherfucker.
  • my candle is in poor shape. one of the three wicks is way longer than the others. the sides are all out of wack too. some sculpting is necessary. lighter fluid is the shit.
  • i saw a shrink for about 20 of my 21 years, well almost, and i think i would have been as well (or better) off if someone had just introduced me to some good music/movies and given me a big ass candle to light on fire.
  • gotta sleep. maybe i'll try to mess with the car tomorrow. maybe i'll adjust the valves or something, that shouldn't be too troublesome.
  • LFO sucks ass.


    • 11-03-00 (19:55)

  • during the time that thomas jefferson was having an affair with one of his slaves his use of the word "mulatto" when describing soil conditions increased twelve-fold. i wonder if there are any such trends in my journal.
  • vern out for the night, maybe he'll get some more action.
  • going to work on jon's car with him in about 10 minutes, see if we can't get that motha running smooth.
  • tried working on malcolm today (exterior stuff) to no real end. basically wasted my time and got frustrated. it's amazing how many things can go wrong when working with a car.
  • thought too much today about the world being shitty.
  • talked to a coupla co-workers about politics, think i opened some doors.
  • watched about 5 minutes of the simpsons with really bad reception.
  • deep purple are pretty damned rockin. ian paice on the drums, yes. turned the subwoofer on and noticed some bass i never knew was there before. very cool.
  • should watch a movie tonight. i'm thinking "the wall."


    • 11-3-00 (04:10)

  • i do all this writing for you, the paying audience...
  • "emotion or reason, now which one do you obey?" - the chick from spooks. note to self: gotta know her name because she's going to be big one day.
  • fear is still your only god. how much of what you haven't done has come as a result of fear in some form?
  • i'm a lot like vern in some ways. yesterday he said eating made him horny. i'm eating this great sandwich, listening to some music, and i'm getting horny. eating can really turn me on. i'm such a primordial freak sometimes. ain't it great?
  • 30 minutes and a sandwich and i've already forgotten about the revolution. ha, no wonder this world sucks such big white capitalist dick.


    • 11-3-00 (03:32)

  • things i've seen is such a great great song. well layered and has harmony, something lots of hip-hop these days neglects.
  • i'm hungry right now. staying awake this late isn't a good idea because i get really hungry in the morning.
  • another 107 hits this week. crazy shit.
  • guess no one like my last poll. i must admit it was pretty retarded. here be the new one.
  • moby is making me sad right now. this world is so beyond fucked up yet we all continue living; few of us try to make changes. i've got to get my shit together and start either a) killing people OR b) making people think.
  • i'm going to go make a sandwich, go to sleep, get really really smart overnight and then do it.
  • we really do need to reevaluate the way we think. seriously question reality, authority, rationality and reason, our values, everything. "you will not be able to stay home, brother. you will not be able to plug in, turn on and cop out. you will not be able to lose yourself on scag and skip out for beer during commercials because the revolution will not be televised." it's pretty cool what someone can say in six words.
  • i'm pretty impatient when it comes to lots of things.
  • i asked vern what the fuck was wrong with the idiots who would call some of the worst movies ever "a wild and entertaining ride" and the like...so here are some criticisms of my webpage, from vern. pretty classic stuff.

    • "Chris Miller is the voice of the underground Generation Y"
    --Village Shout

    "A rapturous and entertaining read"
    --Los Angeles Voice

    "Mr. Miller has a wit to equal Wilde"
    --The Daily American Reader

    (Chris is) "A daring and visionary character, full of grace and wisdom. Chris Miller's Journal is the sign of the times."
    --The Northern Californian

    "Chris Miller is the resonating anti-hero of Generation D--and the "D" doesn't stand for digital..."
    --Rex Reefer of the Town Mirror

    "Audacious. A neat voice. Compelling."
    --Peter Trailblazer of the Mid Town Sentinel

    11-3-00 (00:02)

  • just had a massive chat session with four people at the same time, but all separately. craziness.
  • getting a lot better at pull-ups these days. i want to get up to 20 before the end of the year. that would cool.
  • updated movies list.


    • 11-2-00 (22:00)

  • here's some encouraging news...20 guys decided to rape a 13 year old mentally disabled girl the other day. they did this for 12 hours. this happened in georgia. so there is something very very wrong with the state of the world these days and it makes me fucking sick. i'm outraged, but here i sit. i'm going to have to come up with something to do other than sit.
  • there's no easy way to segue from that...
  • it seems that the more 'civilized' we get the more effectively we managed to use our newly found leisure time to do more work. multi-tasking is more and more prevalent in our everyday life. i think that this is a disease. i see people everywhere on cell phones taking care of business while they're walking along the street, they've got their notepads out trying to juggle everything at the same time they are trying to catch the bus. wack shit. wack white shit if you ask me.
  • why do people collect the new quarters? i ask because i've got them on my desk like i have some real interest in them. i need to not collect them.
  • there are certain guidelines in life. some are ubiquitous and universal, others aren't. i can't come up with any great examples. uh, you marry the person you love, you save to try and buy a house, a steady job is better than lots of little jobs, after high school you try to get into college...those are all pretty crappy examples, but you get the point, yes? i think that you have to make your own rules. now this is obvious to you because you're probably an independent thinker, but there are so many people who take these guidelines as the way to live one's life.
  • all i'm trying to say is that people need to make rules for themselves and not accept those manufactured by the bourgeoisie or whoever you think feeds us all this shit in pop culture.
  • www.billionairesforbushorgore.com
  • i can't wait until i'm a teacher and there is some salient issue in an election. maybe a school bond measure or the like. i want to incite the students to protest and stuff. some of our school had a walkout because of the prop. 187 fiasco.
  • i think i'm different from most people, including my friends in that i'd rather stay at home and listen to music, watch a movie, or what not instead of going to a party. it's too bad, wish i had more fun at parties. maybe not. nevermind i guess i'm fine being who i am.
  • well today the world grieved over the loss of jesus. he was a good jesus while he was around. a moment of silence for a fallen warrior.
  • modernism dictates complete rationalism. what a crock. love isn't rational at all. being rational is very over-rated sometimes. according to people like hobbes everyone is a rational self-actor. so here's the world according to hobbes. joe walks down the street and stops jen to ask her for directions to the subway station. jen points north and says it's up that way, about two blocks past the post office (despite it being in the opposite direction). jen then says hey while you're going that way would you mind dropping this letter off at the post office. joe says sure no problem. sounds like jen is a bitch. at any rate joe walks towards the post office, but before he gets there he opens up the letter in the hope that there is some money inside. finding that there isn't he dumps the letter in the trash and continues towards the subway station.
  • looks like i'm doing fantasy basketball this year again. it's a good way to stay informed and it gives me something to do in my spare time.
  • work again for nicole at work - 2-4pm.
  • i wanted to get a good picture of my jesus and then superimpose him on a cross, but i don't have any pictures scanned and it probably wouldn't come out too well. it was an idea.
  • winamp finally came out with a new version. what losers.
  • jim morrison is pretty dope in my book.
  • thursdays are pretty sweet. they're long enough to feel like i've earned a rest. for whatever reason i never realize it until late in the day that thursday is the end of the week for me.
  • we talked about hyper-realism in class today. when people consider taco bell as being mexican food when really it's just a sad imitation...sounds simple enough, but it sadly carries over to other things for a lot of people. "the real world" on mtv isn't the real world, but people take it for face value a lot of the time. so what makes a real experience? seeing death and carnage on tv isn't the same as being there, everyone knows that. i think that gandhi says something about the study of life experiences and how that creates reality, not what you see on tv or what you think such and such is about. kind of like something doesn't really become real until you have experienced it. i believe in this to a large degree. that's why i went hitchhiking and why i want to do it again. it's also why i want to have some shitty jobs next year.

    • 11-02-00 (02:13)

  • was looking over some old updates. may sucked ass in a lot of ways.
  • here was a poll from the history channel website:
  • Which African American do you most admire?
  • Results:
  • Martin Luther King, Jr. 40.8
  • Muhammad Ali 9.5
  • Oprah Winfrey 8.2
  • Colin Powell 41.4
  • that is so amazingly sad. colin powell? i don't know much about him, but a) his job was to kill people efficiently and b) there is no way in fucking godfuckinghell that he's more admirable than MLK. fuck.
  • dumb people bother me.
  • oprah is a funny one. i honestly think that she does a lot of good things, esp. relative to her peers. at the same time she's quite commercial in her delivery...she seems to know exactly how to get the ratings and does what she needs to do to get em. i guess this would make her a model citizen - capitalist entrepreneur who is also a kind hearted philanthropist. still she does come up with some gag worthy material. ho hum, no real complaints.
  • i'm no longer bitter because i've decided no to be.
  • a tribe called quest are pretty great.
  • black sabbath are also great.
  • led zeppelin are the best
  • i have all the doors albums. just realized this today. kinda sad because that means they won't really move up too much in the ratings. though they're about as high as it gets.
  • meddle is the next pink floyd album i'm going to get.
  • "i can't pay no doctor bills, but whitey's on the moon"
  • dj shadow needs to come out with another album, he's epic.
  • god should take a large dump on this world with the way we treat each other.
  • real people are few and far between.
  • SACRAMENTO - The Green Party in California is, by far, the fastest growing

    • party in the state - and in Sacramento and Yolo counties - according to the
    latest figures released from the Secretary of State's office.

    Since the first of the year, Green Party members have increased a whopping
    41.2 percent in the state to about 140,000. In the past month alone, state
    Green registration jumped more than 14 percent

    In Sacramento County, Green Party registration as of Oct. 10 is at 5,046,
    13.7 percent more than registered on Sept. 10, and 40.2 percent higher than
    a year ago when just 3,598 Greens were registered.

    Yolo County voter registration figures reflect a 24 percent increase in
    Green Party members just since September - up from 1,398 to 1,736
    registered.

    By comparison, across the state, the Natural Law and Reform parties have
    shrinking state numbers - their totals are less than they were a year ago,
    and Democrat and Republication voter figures are stagnant with increases of
    just 2.8 percent and 4.7 percent, respectively, since the first of the year.

    The second fastest growing "affiliation" is Decline to State, up 17.9
    percent from Jan. 1, 2000, with 2.2 million voters.

  • oh yea. jesus was stolen today. so no more easy trips across town and the like.
  • there was a time when i would be our right now looking for some revenge. i was no better than them. i'm trying.
  • can't wait to break open the gandhi autobiography.
  • been thinking about this for a while, now i will act upon it...i'm going to start coming up with some ideas for classroom activities. writing congressmen, field trips, movies for extra credit, etc.
  • my last playboy came today. i think i'll not renew the subscription. the pictures are just a tease and the interviews aren't worth the money, though they are very good. the ben still one was good. john malkovich was another good one. oh, and bob costas. drew barrymore this month. oh yea, chyna didn't help their cause any.
  • i think i'm getting sports illustrated these days. free magazines are good.
  • i should get some sleep soon.
  • tupac, i love you.
  • oh, good news. i've finally found the lowest point in music history...the worst song, ever. apparently it was quite the rage back a while ago. it's called "summer girls" and it's by this 'band' LFO. you must hear it. there really isn't any competition for worst song ever, this is it. they, for good measure to really seal the deal, even rip off a beastie boys lyric and use it - twice. every piece of music i hear from this day forth will be that much better because i have heard this song.
  • in other music news...i was at work today and this older woman checked out a george winston cd, i told her that my mom used to always listen to him and that he's good. i think she was impressed to hear that a youngster such as myself knew who george winston was.
  • i guess this update is long enough to keep you busy. johnny said that it's been hard to keep up lately. maybe november will a big month.
  • i think it will.


    • 11-01-00 (17:16)

  • "By the age of 22, about 90 percent of every group has had sex" - the groups mentioned included men and women of different ethnicities ...so that means that 90 of all 22 year old Americans have gotten in the sack. that's pretty amazing in some ways, in others it's pretty much expected. sex is natural, but you have all those religious crazies, boring and dumb people, unattractive people, social rejects, and yet only 10 percent of the population goes to the age of 22 without sex.
  • saw a pretty gnarly bike crash today, it sucked. it was this one girl riding along all by herself...she hit a parked bike and went flying head first onto the pavement. these two guys went over there to help her up and just a couple seconds after that about 15 yards away there was a really loud pop, like an M-80 or something. it was very very strange. couldn't tell where the bang came from, maybe she was planning a drive by, but didn't quite get away. it was odd.
  • i always think i have work until 6pm on wednesdays. a nice relief to discover otherwise.
  • looks like my scheduling will work out okay. i'm going to have a class on friday though, kinda wack. at least it's only one class, but it's also at 10am, it has to be done. got a Dungey class lined up too, just for fun.
  • spring quarter i'll take 2 sociology classes a science class of some sort and possibly linguistics. by then i'll have full-fledged senioritis, i'm sure.
  • led zeppelin are good, on occasion.
  • going to dinner at jon's tonight, that's a 7pm. hopefully i have some time for a movie afterwards.
  • no rain today. reminds me of that blind melon song - no rain. wonder where i come up with these strange connections. completely illogical.
  • i wish tupac was still alive.
  • archives page updated.
  • maybe a trip to santa cruz in the future. turns out that it's not very expensive...maybe 25 bucks round trip. it takes a while, but my time doesn't mean that much anyway.
  • can't wait till thanksgiving break.


    • 11-01-00 (01:35)

  • there was a teaser on tv tonight about a feature on the news called "find out if you are underpaid." i'd say that if you're in the labor market you're underpaid, if you're a teacher you're underpaid, if you're an at home mother or father you're underpaid.
  • the latest info i've heard is that the top 1% of the wealthiest in the country own 60% of the total wealth. so if you're not in the top, say, 10% you're probably underpaid relative to them.
  • had some great discussion in Dungey's class today. that guy kicks ass in so many ways. he's going to be teaching Political Science 5 next quarter (problems in american government), this is great because i know he'll make it such an awesome class and because he was relegated to upper division courses only. apparently, though, the department needed someone pretty badly. the department seems to be a little scared by him because he throws chalk at students once in a while and cusses a lot.
  • today someone made a really good point about what we were discussing and Dungey, in a way only he can, stumbled over what to say "you're so ri...god, that's exactly...i mean, yes..." then he threw the chalk. it was great.
  • finished off CCR today. finishing up velvet underground. half way done with jimi. led zeppelin - still a long way to go. need to touch on some of that black sabbath and police tomorrow. i have less "classic rock" than i had thought.
  • it's november now. will transfer october updates in a couple days.
  • got to borrow 'meddle' - pink floyd album from marina's work. it really rocks. it's on the list, the long list, of cds to purchase.
  • october 22, 1969 - release date of led zeppelin II. in the past 31 years they're haven't been many albums that great, then again in the previous 31 years there weren't that many either, in rock that is.
  • haven't listened to the radio (other than KDVS) in a few months, at least.
  • i should sleep now.

    • 10-31-00 (22:30)

  • pretty tired lately.
  • halloween is here. i guess there are lots of parties going on right now.
  • bought some incense the other day. my room smells like india now. better than the way the house smelled before. drastic times call for drastic measures. the smell of our kitchen was in drastic need of repair.
  • speaking of india, i got the gandhi autobiography today. need to work on the MLK one first though.
  • gotta register for classes tomorrow...most of the classes i want to take are at 10am. there's not a chance i'm waking up that early during the winter. going to try and take linguistics over again and not get a D this time. also want to take two sociology classes...wanted to take a class on gender, but i don't know if that's going to happen because it's too early. think i'll take one on family instead. then i might take one on social deviance since i'd like to learn as much about myself as possible before i get into the real world. hmmm, then there's the second half of the film class. so that's 16 units. i'd still have 8 units left for my minor and 4 units to satisfy a GE and i think that would be enough for graduation.
  • after graduation i'll probably live in davis, go from job to job never attaining any real level of security. go in and out of relationships, finally find someone i can settle with. get divorced and die at 50 because of a heart problem.
  • or i could graduate, go into debt a little, go across the country and live out of my car for a couple months. come back to davis live with johnny and christy, get a bunch of shitty jobs and gain some more perspective in life. all the while spending a few hours a week watching classrooms at the high school level, learning how to be a teacher. afterwards i will attend some college where i can get accreditation in a year. by the time i graduate from there i'll be 24 and i'll say to myself "what now?" 24 is kinda young to start teaching so maybe i'll become a substitute which is about the most lame shit ever, so i won't do that. i'll tap into the digital economy, become independently wealthy and drop all ideas of any noble profession. scratch that. i'll get a moderately decent job for a year and then start looking for some real teaching opportunities. i'll find a decent school, teach there a couple years and then move to another school, finally - two schools later - i will settle down at about 32 and teach until i'm 60 something or can't yell anymore.
  • the thing i look forward to most as a teacher is being disciplined by the principals. i can't wait till the day when the principal comes up to me after school one day and says "chris you've got to cut down on the amount of cussing that comes out of this room, it's not an appropriate learning environment." ... "you know what isn't a proper learning environment, is the fucking ideological monopoly in this society which insisted on infiltrating the classroom with antiquated curriculum and no diversity of ideas..."
  • i'd never be good in a discipline position (cop, security guard, etc.) i just don't care too much about being picky about lots of stupid laws. i'd pretty much make my own laws...case in point...at the library we're not allowed to check books out to people unless they have their student ID card. of course all the other people who work there are tight asses about it, not quite sure why..."it's the policy they say." if the person has their ID number and something that proves they are who they say they are then i have no problem checking it out to them. it just means i have to get their card number which takes an extra step or two. i also clear fines for people if they come to me with a late book and a decent excuse. i know what it's like being a poor student so i don't have a problem with screwing over the university a little. i think this would carry over to any other job i might have. i wasn't very good at disciplining the kids at the shelter either. i provided boundaries for them, because they all came from backgrounds which required that, but i let them get away with stuff because life is too short to not let a kid get more than 30 minutes on the nintendo. gimme a break. nintendo is all this kid has and some of the staff would get all stiff about it.
  • lighten up. pick your battles.
  • i've been wearing the same jeans for a couple weeks. paying for laundry bites ass.
  • finally cancelled call waiting. what a waste of money. i never talk on the phone and i certainly won't have two people wanting to call me at the same time.
  • i always get weird messages on my answering machine. today some girl called up and was talking to her friends in the background, then said "hello? hello?" maybe i should be more explicit on my outgoing message..."this is chris miller, this is the phone number, this is not a live person, when you hear the beep that would be your cue to leave a message with some of the following information: your name, your number, a good time to call back, what you're calling about, and the answer to the question 'who let the dogs out.'"
  • i think conan has a good guest on tonight, will check now. just found out...at the drive-in is the musical guest...i've heard they're good live. they were going to open for the beastie boys and rage when that whole thing was going to happen.


    • 10-31-00 (01:29)

  • "i know that the hypnotized never lie" - the who
  • european son is a very good velvet underground song.
  • "gore and bush make me want to ralph"


    • 10-30-00 (21:36)

  • you can kill a revolutionary, but you can't kill a revolution.
  • really tired today. skipped the last half of film class, i was sleepy as hell.
  • hell is very sleepy for those not in the know.
  • on my way home i was on my bike crossing the street and riding without my hands on the handlebars when this renegade car which seemed not to see the red light went right through the intersection. i could have died, instead i avoided the car, shook my head and rode on. death is funny.
  • rolling stones be playing now.
  • as for the claim that rage is the best four instrument band ever...they entertain me the most, but i think nirvana is better and if i'm not mistaken jimi hendrix could also be in the running and of course he's done more for music than rage. elite company nonetheless, in my opinion...
  • in other biking news...today was a sad day i got dusted by two different bikers while on my way to campus. that's three this year. which is one more than the past three years combined. i'm becoming an old out of shape man.
  • "lose your dreams and you'll lose your mind" - the rolling stones


    • 10-30-00 (10:35)

  • led zeppelin: i love you.
  • got a whopping 107 hits last week, that's pretty crazy shit.
  • got mad shit to do today, gonna be a long one.
  • starting out the day with a smile and some really loud music is pretty much the only way to go from now on.


    • 10-30-00 (01:54)

  • the mokees, though mocked usually, are alright in my book.
  • some guy made a song whose lyrics contained the information required to rip a dvd and effectively pirate it. he then uploaded it to mp3.com's site. once 'they' found out about it 'they' got him in all kinds of trouble. (first amendment, *cough*). someone writes a book describing how to build a bomb, terrorized neighbors, phreak phone lines, etc (anarchist cookbook) and it's a library staple. but someone tells people how to save money by making copies of their friends' dvds and there's a big hullabaloo over it all. money is retarded. i hereby denounce the worth of money.
  • private property is lame. i guess in some ways locke was progressive because he said people are entitled to private property, but only that which they made with their own hands and labor.
  • i can imagine being a youngster in january 1967 listening to the debut album by the doors and being pretty blown away. then flipping over the lp and being blown away even more by light my fire and back door man (great bass line) and finally being totally flabbergasted by "the end." jim morrison just going off...man i wish i had lived in the sixties so i could have experience shit like that first hand.
  • listened to bob dylan today too.
  • i need to get some beatles albums when i have some dead presidents.
  • ten years after is in the player now...great band.
  • so i have this small 1-2 pager which is due tomorrow. gag.
  • tuesday is halloween. yay. um, right.
  • kinda sad that halloween used to be such a thrill and now it ain't shit.
  • some idiot on the beastie boys NG was talking about a time when music and politics weren't connected. hmmm, what a nim(rod). what a (re)tard. what a fool to boot. a nincompoop.
  • gotta get to this paper or i will surely perish from this earth.
  • "The loss of strength gradient and its intellectual descendants focus on the obstacles posed by geographic distance for military force projection." - this i a very inviting way to start a subchapter. what a crock. write in fucking english. or maybe i should be mad at the teacher who assigned us a book which obviously requires more than just a basic understanding of war. good lord. i'm so glad that i'm not committed to reading everything they assign me. i might stress out otherwise.
  • stress is lame.
  • i just want to walk the earth and do good. like the guys in "easy rider" only without the harleys, the drugs, and the last scene - which was, by the way, very powerful.
  • i gotta do this damn paper thing. i gotta wake up in 6.5 hours and have my 10 hour day.
  • i could just pack up everything, take the bug and start a new life in reno. i really could just do that. or could i?
  • fuck it, i gotta do this paper no matter which way i look at it.
  • baba o'riley is such an epic song. goddamn.
  • i think that rage against the machine is the best strictly four instrument band (bass, guitar, vocals, percussion) ever. led zeppelin, beatles, pretty much anyone in contention that i can think of has used more than that. i guess you gotta give them props for that, huh? nirvana is really the only competition and i'm not 100% sure that nirvana never used another instrument. black sabbath did some experimental stuff in the later years, besides they had the harmonica in there which would be number five.
  • soup to nuts 'there's something about mary' is the funniest movie of this generation. i must say, though, that planes trains and automobiles should get its due.
  • quickly, then i'll begin: arafat, barak, listen up...if you want the capital to be yours you can just make a trip over here and take over davis or something. i won't cause a stir, in fact no one will. just stop killing five year olds on their way to get a drink of water and shit. well, i haven't actually heard of five year olds on their way to get water being killed, but you get the point.
  • i wish every country in the world would declare neutrality and give back land to those who had it first...i'd be willing to go back to hell where i (and my white brothers) came from if it meant native americans and bison would be alive again. no, not all white people are devils, but...hyperbole for the sake of a) making a point b) procrastination.
  • "meet the old boss, same as the old boss...." - we won't get fooled again - The Who


    • 10-29-00 (23:45)

  • too many people value their lives too highly. i'm willing to gamble with it. i don't mean this in the literal sense like i'm going to go out and drive 90 in a residential neighborhood. i'm talking about other risks. what i'm getting at is that you don't have to live by the perscribed formula, there are other, more risky and fulfilling, ways to go about it.
  • in an odd sense i'm looking forward to a complete failure within the first half of my life so that i can rebuild and start over again. you know, find jesus and such. maybe a little different.
  • of course, i'm not going to seek it out, but i'm not afraid to let it happen.
  • it's cold inside.
  • sloop john b is such a great song.
  • music sure does speak to me. i'm not always sure what it's saying, but i get all tingly.
  • updated movies list. every single shot in a movie can be done any one out of a zillion ways. i'd never be able to make a movie.
  • i still give too many movies the go ahead.


    • 10-29-00 (20:16)

  • just about every day i find something i'd like to change about myself. slowly i change it. i think at this rate i'll be a perfect person by the time i'm 683.
  • started up the classic rock today. chuck berry is playing now. formulaic, but it's his formula and it's good.
  • going to be really busy tomorrow, not a big fan of being really busy. i've been cherishing my free time more and more these days in anticipation of one day being a 9-5er...granted it will hopefully be a 'noble' 9-5, but i'll still have far less time than i have now. i'm in no rush to become a slave.
  • i think when people take control of their lives it's the best thing they can do for themselves. buying a new car is not taking control of your life.
  • taking control of one's life becomes harder and harder with every day.
  • industrialization has destroyed many things that once made humans more human.
  • chuck berry is alright in my book. ccr are great. didn't know that "too much monkey business" was a chuck berry tune before it was a yardbirds tune. knew that they covered their fair share of tracks though.
  • i think i just bought gandhi's autobiography without having enough money to do so. look who has his priorities straight. go chris.
  • i forgot who it was but someone tried to call me and said that the phone kept ringing without my picking up. i was online...the call waiting does that these days. i should get rid of call-waiting, it really is a waste. it was johnny, i remember now.
  • it didn't really rain today so that was good.
  • got to play some frisbee golf. i sucked big time. big time.
  • watched the 49ers lose a good game, that wasn't fun.
  • i like 'ramble tamble' - a very good ccr track which seemed to go unnoticed. not sure why no one ever plays it.
  • the people upstairs don't like loud music at late hours. understandable, but unfortunate.
  • updated my 'if i were rich/do these before you die' page.
  • off to watch 'sweet smell of success,' which has been on the to see list for years.


    • 10-29-00 (03:23)

  • music can really amplify feelings which people have, it's great like that.
  • it's beyond my comprehension how the government can spend billions and billions more on oppressing people abroad than they spend on funding the arts.
  • i'm a much better person because of music or movies than i am because people abroad are being subdued and pacified in the name of my country.
  • on another note...i was looking through a pile of papers and ran across the personal statement i had to write up last year. i compared myself to dirk diggler (the porn star in boogie nights). i guess i can be funny at times, though, if memory serves i was writing on a couple liters of mountain dew in the system...
  • i also read over a few of my past essays and discovered that having a non-proofreading policy probably isn't the best idea. found plenty of stupid mistakes. it's all in the past i suppose.
  • "...what's gonna set you free? look inside and you'll see..."
  • so it's basically 5am right now because of the whole daylight savings time deal.
  • i ask a lot of questions which go unanswered, but i'd like this one answered. why is it that people insist on violence as a way of working things out? why do people insist upon forcing their ideology upon others? if you have a good explanation i'd like to hear it.
  • you know a great moment in cinema history was when sidney poitier answered to the sheriff's question "what do they call you down there boy?" - "they call me MR. TIBBS!"
  • updated movies list.
  • "Then it don't matter. I'll be all aroun' in the dark. I'll be ever'where--wherever you can look. Wherever there's a fight so hungry people can eat, I'll be there. Wherever there's a cop beatin' up a guy, I'll be there, I'll be in the way guys yell where there're mad--an' I'll be in the way kids laugh when they're hungry an' they know supper's ready. An' when the people are eatin' the stuff they raise, an' livin' in the houses they built, I'll be there too." -Tom from Grapes of Wrath
  • "I know. That's what makes us tough. Rich fellas come up an' they die an' their kids ain't no good an' they die out. But we keep a-comin'. We're the people that live. They can't wipe us out--they can't lick us. We'll go on forever, Pa, 'cause we're the people." -Ma from Grapes of Wrath
  • really the whole movie could have been a single shot of the exterior of an outhouse. as long as had those two quotes that movie would have still kicked ass.

    • Cute, huh? His name was Tupac Shakur
    10-29-00 (02:09)
  • i remember watching the 84 olympics and seeing part of Mary Lou Retton's great performance. i remember most seeing her parents crying. i asked my mom why they were crying and she said that sometimes people cry when they're happy. the times when i have cried because i was so happy have been few and far between and most of them were due to music.
  • note to self: led zeppelin are perfect.
  • it's easy to say that jimmy page was the best member of the band, but john paul jones has got to be in the running. then again so do plant and bonham. they're fucking great.
  • after listening to houses of the holy i realize that it is an album of epic proportions. i'm not sure why i didn't fully realize this before.


    • 10-28-00 (23:50)

  • my internet connection is being quite dumb right now.
  • maybe i'll just format my hard drive and see how that makes everything. could be a good project for tomorrow.
  • daylight savings is coming up i guess so don't forget to set the clocks back.
  • leaf blowers - the most white of all inventions. it is loud, pollutes, attempts to alter nature, and is the epitome of laziness.
  • when i hear leaf blowers i feel like the yell that zach lets out in "freedom." what a frustrating world we live in.


    • 10-28-00 (20:35)

  • it was raining so i have an excuse for this.


    • 10-28-00 (18:20)

  • i'm down with kool moe dee. he's what old school hip-hop should be about: urban politics, great sampling, the use of jazz, and of course some inventive rhymes.
  • woke up about 4.5 hours ago.
  • it's raining big time today. (6) same expected for tomorrow, but not monday. convienent that it rains the worst when we're supposed to escape the dullness of modern life. instead we become relegated to the tube.
  • vern saved the day though. we started writing a script for this local guy looking for some writers. we're pretty far along, more work tomorrow i'm sure.
  • i'll be done with all my hip-hop albums by the end of the day. i'm thinking classic rock will be next. that will take at least a week. i'll try to attack it more chronologically this time.
  • going to make a list of things to do this week. i have a feeling that there is more school work than i had originally thought.
  • you know what would really fuck up a lot of the liberal political thought (hobbes, locke, and such) would be to denounce all ideas of private property. it's amazing how much of our political thought is based upon the protection of property.
  • if only the world were perfect. ahhh, that would nice. duh.
  • i think i told this story before, but i was thinking about it again so here it goes. i remember being about 11 and listening to the radio while i was in bed. i was trying to come up with my idea of the best music possible. i thought it would be cool if 'they' had a machine which took a sampling of music you really enjoy and it would spit out the best music ever, according to your tastes. it's a bad idea because it would never work, but i think hip-hop is kinda like that. they sample shit from all over the place and make it into good music. at least the good hip-hop does. the pinnacle of great hip-hop in this spirit would be paul's boutique. nowadays it's pretty much illegal to do anything like as great as that album for the masses.


    • 10-28-00 (00:41)

  • updated movies list.
  • updated poll.
  • 02:45 time to sleep. it's going to rain tomorrow i might not wake up until really late. most likely, though, i'll get some telemarketer to wake me up early enough.
    • watch out, here comes god
    10-27-00 (19:08)
  • got the quickcam all working now. added pics of the new room, even pictures of a couple new posters i've gotten since last year. updated pics page. i should get more creative with this quickcam stuff.
  • worked on the bug today. took him out for a spin, ran pretty well, but needs a valve job i think.
  • today was decent overall. hope is pretty much where it's at. without it, well shit would suck.
  • got another cd in the mail. not sure i ordered it, but i may as well keep it since it's "the who."
  • i just realized that i should probably get around to eating something today. odd.
  • updated cdlist. got to delete two more mp3s.
  • moderation is key.
  • finally got my jacket from rei in the mail today. i ordered it a few months ago. backordering is kinda lame.


    • 10-27-00 (12:56)

  • so i started to cry last night because i was thinking about the Kursk and the middle east and all the fucked shit in the world which is just completely unneeded. i was wondering why people can't just get along more. when i woke up this morning i realized that love is a more ubiquitous emotion than hate, and that alone gives me some hope.
  • it's not raining today which is great. the sun is pretty cool in my book.
  • got work soon enough.
  • vern and i both got packages today, as he said it was like christmas. i love getting stuff in the mail.
  • "pullin' me in" is a really awesome song.


    • 10-27-00 (02:35)

  • why does the inside of my ear itch so much? it seriously does and it's not going away so easy.
  • wyclef is great.
  • whoop whoop, yankees won the series, whew whew, excitement.
  • who am i listening to now? wyclef - second album. some pretty tight beats on this here album.
  • wading through the hallway was the theme for last night. tonight the bathroom is all fixed up.
  • was on campus from 12-6 today. actually went fairly fast.
  • "where my fugees at?" - a good wyclef track, check it out.
  • worst thing about today was the rain, but even that wasn't too bad. ergo, the day went pretty well.
  • work tomorrow from 2-4p.
  • well i must say that my political science prof. (Dungey) is pretty much the best college professor i've had so far. he was telling us that he's going to give us the questions for the midterm in the class before we take it so we don't have to stress out. "no trickery here, no power trip..." he said. that's pretty cool compared to some professors. but to avoid people taking the test the night before he said we need to bring in a blue book and he'll initial them and re-distribute them before the test. last year he said that 60% of the people didn't bring in their bluebooks so he had to go buy some out of his own pocket. at which he commented "i don't want to have to do that. i had to take money out of my fucking martini fund"...something along those lines. it was funnier when he said it. he's full of pearls like this. great guy despite his being unbalanced mentally.
  • who the hell is on track three of this album? holy shit, that would be kenny rogers, country and hip hop combining...wyclef is a great producer like that.
  • WYSIWYG - what you see is what you get...that's pretty much me in a nutshell.
  • okay, i'm tired of trying to make every bullet start with a "w"...it was cool while it lasted, though contrived.
  • so the Kursk had sailors (who were probably drawn into the russian navy by some Navy commercial much like ours - advertising all the places you'll go, people you'll meet, diseases you'll contract, close-minded brut frat boys you'll be surrounded by, etc)...uh, well there were some sailors who were still alive in the submarine after the explosion. what a way to die.
  • if you want to see a great submarine movie - das boot is where it's out. peterson did so well with das boot and then moved to hollywood and had george clooney direct for him or something because perfect storm was wack.
  • i use four reference books everyday - dictionary, movie guide, music guide, and the world almanac. i wish i retained more of this shit, esp. when it comes to speeling.
  • corporate welfare is a joke i just don't get.
  • very funny.
  • since it's 3:51 i should probably get to sleep.


    • 10-26-00 (22:45)

  • updated movies list.
  • realized after i got off of work today that i'm pretty much done for the week. i'm subbing for someone from 2-4 tomorrow, but other than that i'm clear until monday. feels good.
  • i should make sure i don't have any assignments coming up.
  • i don't want to work for the man.
  • listening to all three of my public enemy albums for the next couple hours.
  • i've said before that changing who you are is really tough. it is, but i think i've begun to learn how. i admire men like malcolm x, MLK, gandhi, et al because they seemed to have a pretty good idea of who they wanted to be and were very able to reach that point.
  • my mind is pretty mushy right now, i can barely type.
  • it was a gloomy day in davis today, but it makes you appreciate spring all the more.
  • i think that if i had a girlfriend i'd be a better person
  • i can't understand why people can't just accept people and their differences. i've run across plenty of people i don't want to be associated with. plenty of people i can't stand, but why would i ever kill someone because of what they believe?
  • i know that when judgment day comes all the white corporate scum will go to the fiery pits of hell, but that doesn't mean i'm going to beat the shit out of them.
  • was in sociology class today and we were talking about associations we make with symbols...the teacher asked what associations we made with nature, then he asked what we thought the opposite of nature might be. first thing that came to my mind was "white men."
  • "elvis was a hero to most, but he never shit to me. he was straight out racist and plain. mother fuck him and john wayne." -chuck d and flava flav.


    • 10-26-00 (02:35)

  • added to the recently listened to list: resurrection of hip-hop (i talked to one of the guys in this group in kdvs one time, good guy), more tribe called quest...i guess that's it.
  • my side of the bathroom is extremely flooded now. kinda funny. see, i'm laughing. ha ha.
  • the spooks album is pretty damned good, esp. "things i've seen." i will await the next one.
  • listening to music loud makes it so much better. i think the people upstairs probably hate me by now. it's okay because every time they turn on the sink i get all their water on my floor.
  • i'm really liking this way of listening to music. it casts everything in a different light. it's nice to have some continuity too.
  • of course the fugees are insanely good.
  • i want to see about getting some more kdvs stickers. they seem to be fresh out of em.


    • 10-25-00 (23:50)

  • saw a funny looking man on campus today. he mumbled something in his foreign uneducated language. i killed him with my machete.
  • "how do you make god laugh? make a plan"
  • listened to spooks, schoolly d, beastie boys, n.w.a., and run d.m.c. so far today.
  • a lot of people have sampled public enemy and slick rick/doug e. fresh. and more people than i thought have sampled the beastie boys. oh and run d.m.c. are often sampled.
  • bathroom sink is sufficiently flooded...so is the floor.


    • 10-25-00 (20:08)

  • hooked up the quickcam today and then realized that i can't use it until i get a keyboard adapter.
  • updated movies list.
  • "...cuz you know why A-U-C-H. i'm taking all mc's out in the place..."
  • Adam Yauch is pretty much the coolest person alive. well almost anyway.
  • "i've got an open mind so why don't you all get inside"
  • someone asked me about affirmative action today - namely what my stance on it was. i told them that i support it. they said that they understood that people in lower socio-economic brackets didn't have the same opportunities as most, but felt that affirmative action wasn't the answer. i just realized i don't want to bother retelling the whole story since it's nothing special.


    • 10-25-00 (16:47)

  • woke up in the middle of the night with an ant crawling on my face, it was pretty funny actually. other than that i slept really well.
  • going to rent some movies tonight, not entirely sure which ones though.
  • i think i have a midterm next week and some kind of paper to do. i'll worry about those later though.
  • kept thinking that i had work until 6pm, turned out i didn't. lucky guy. got my paycheck so that's pretty sweet.
  • need to scan the pictures of malcolm. i love getting film developed because i never remember what is on the roll. as it turns out this roll had some pictures of jon, vern, and i riding jesus through the house next door (Doc and company). they had moved out and the house was empty so i decided to drive through it. fun stuff.
  • rainy day number four.


    • 10-25-00 (00:49)

  • quizzes are all over. not too bad overall.
  • if eminem rapped in a different language it would be a lot easier to like him. thing about him is that he's really inventive when it comes to delivery of his rhymes and his beats are pretty original.
  • had a good breakfast today...oj, and a plum. doesn't sound like much, but it's more than usual, and it was quality.
  • there are a lot more beastie boys samples floating around than one would think. the same goes for run d.m.c., but i guess one would expect it more with them.
  • this here page now averages 6 hits a day.
  • real life is harder than the media would like you to think. remember that. i demand more truth.
  • gotta sleep
  • updated movies list.
  • word on the street is that it's going to rain on friday and sunday. not a big fan of rain. maybe i should run around and get really wet rather than let it get me down. probably not a good idea since i felt a little sniffly this morning.


    • 10-24-00 (10:47)

  • updated the archives page. includes last month now.
  • been trying to get around to reading the MLK autobiography...no time.
  • gotta go study. gotta have a good breakfast for once too.


    • 10-24-00 (02:00)

  • been pretty happy lately.
  • there is no way i can be sad and listening to stevie wonder at the same time. frontline has elements of a sad song, but it doesn't make me sad. motivated, if anything.
  • tribe called quest - low end theory is better than i remember. it might make a move on people's instinctive travels. any hip-hop that uses jazz is pretty phat in my book. that's phat with a "ph."
  • need to see the new bjork movie...vern says it was really contrived and didn't do it for him at all. marina and gina upstairs say it's the greatest thing since canned fruit, um or something.
  • vern is asleep so now i can't read for my film class. forethought is a good thing. no worries, there's always the notes and the syllabus to study.
  • i wish we had a public access station in davis.
  • you know, nader made a good point - all the support for the arts in the last 7 years or so is equal to the tax break that the government gave to lockheed martin and boeing for merging. i'm pretty sure it was those two which merged. either way you get the point. if billy ray cyrus and garth brooks are so great why won't the republicans fork out more than 207 million a year? this'll go nowhere.
  • much respect to mark borchardt...he's got such vision and determination. i wonder when northwestern will come out. i hope he stays sober for a while.
  • the big question on the street seems to be: "who let the dogs out?" it's really funny how a song can get so big. it really is like the macarena. one that got pretty big pretty quickly which actually had a point was the "everybody wears sunscreen" track.
  • i got shocked a whole buttload today. once again, that is less than a shitload which is less than a fuckload.
  • from nader: www.tompaine.com
  • what is sex when you have three people? what are laws if they ain't fair and equal...what are the youth if they ain't rebellin'? ...what's america without greed and glamour? -courtesy of tribe called quest.
  • bust a nut inside your eye to let you know where i come from. -courtesy of tribe called quest.
  • been thinking about my music listening habits...i'm going to try and put things in perspective more often now. that is i'm going to listen to hip-hop for a while, rather than skipping around so much. skipping around is fun and all, but i think it'll be cool to get really into my hip-hop albums for a week and then move on to some indie rock - velvet underground, bis, etc. then move onto my jazz and maybe attack each genre chronologically. worth a shot.
  • worth a shot. definitely.
  • epmd are pretty much awesome on their debut album. major fall off after that though.
  • i'm going to study.
  • oh, got to see the last part of the monday night football game. it was a good game that went into overtime. good shit.
  • going to sleep now. it's pretty cool how public enemy can take about a tenth of a second's worth of a sample and use it so well.
  • if i die before i wake (sounds familiar) then someone should annonce to all my loyal journal readers: "Chris Miller has passed away. Shucks. Vote Nader." i hereby make that my one wish. it really is time to sleep.


    • 10-23-00 (23:56)

  • so i wonder how one knows when they've found "the one." back up. is there "one?" are there many? are there none? are there a lot of "close-enoughs?" i know that i know nothing. i think everything becomes more clear about the time you're 90 and ready to die.
  • i know depeche mode are great.
  • the midterm today wasn't as bad as was first thought, but maybe i should reserve that for the day when i get it back.
  • two quizzes tomorrow. film and sociology. shit i should have gotten my sociology book from the reserves. brilliant chris. what a tard.
  • my speeling is pretty atrocious.
  • updated movies list. the soundtrack on this version of metropolis was extremely ill-suited. i'm not sure what was running through the person's mind when they picked it out. the movie is owned by some rich guy who revamped it...color tinting, new intertitles, and the soundtrack - bad idea.
  • bs2000 coming out in feb. beastie boys vinyl sounds of science crazy fresh version coming in november.


    • 10-23-00 (01:17)

  • the yardbirds cd (bbc sessions) is very good because it's the yardbirds, but i like their album version of for your love a lot more than that live version.
  • took a shower today, first time since monday. strangely i didn't start to smell or anything. it was pretty cool actually. now my skin is really dry. (single person) showers are over-rated.
  • speaking of which, it's funny how my guests always get more action in my house than i do. i'm over it.
  • just as i finished that line "too much monkey business" (a yardbirds' song) came on. synchronicity is cool.
  • smokestack lightning uses the same guitar breakdown as one in led zeppelin I.
  • then there is "the sun is shining" which took from muddy waters' you shook me, which was also borrowed by page while with led zeppelin on lz I.
  • the yardbirds are pretty classic 60s rock, they're not great, but they are very very good. they stole their fair share of riffs and covered a couple tunes.
  • i'm getting tired.


    • 10-22-00 (22:10)

  • no movie tonight.
  • heard nader on the radio, but didn't get to see him. he wasn't in the station, he called them for the interview.
  • he was really good. talked about things that no one else talks about. made a reference to the michael moore directed rage against the machine video (although it was sort of an oblique reference). good guy.
  • how 20th century fox could be left out of the 2-cd doors best of set is beyond me.
  • close game in the series today...in the last inning anyway.
  • i think i'm going to install the quick cam soon so it doesn't just sit and gather dust. i'll also be able to take pictures of the new room and my newly shaven legs. mmm, nevermind that last part.


    • 10-22-00 (14:42)

  • couldn't sleep last night.
  • 49ers lost again, this sucks.
  • johnny and christy left. it looks like they'll be moving to davis next year, could be good.
  • nader is in town...in an hour or so he'll be in KDVS, hopefully i'll be there too.
  • i have a midterm monday. two quizzes tuesday. reading would be a good idea at this point.
  • lots to do in the next few days.
  • my new lee morgan cd is good.
  • probably should go rent some more movies since i don't want to keep watching movies i've already seen. 116 movies on the to see list.
  • i'm currently uploading three fantastic beastie boys tracks to loyal fans, share the wealth.
  • over 11 million votes for nader, i predict.


    • 10-22-00 (00:20)

  • saw one snl skit and it looked dumb.
  • updated movies list. third kubrick in a row.
  • rage against the machine has their live album on pre-order at a few online stores...i think that's good news, but it conflicts with the reports that there isn't any release date in the near future....


    • 10-21-00 (01:43)

  • updated movies list. got four dvds in the mail, four for 20 bucks. johnny and christy missed a lot of clockwork orange which is too bad.
  • johnny and christy came today. went to get milkshakes came back watched a movie. oh we played frisbee golf too. had my worst game of the year, vern had his best. tommorrow they'll be gone and i'll be busy.
  • ended up counting the immigrant as one of my movies for the 300...i don't think it'll be the one that pushes me over so even if there is controversy i don't think it'll matter in the end.
  • the ralph nader speech is sold out so no dice there. however there is a chance i'll get to see him anyway. he's going to be at KDVS so i might make a trip down there and see if i can observe his greatness, even for a moment or two. having a KDVS id card might actually come in handy for once.
  • if you know of any good chemicals for getting stickers off glass, let me know.
  • art isn't a science. there aren't rules you can follow to ensure your art is good. in science there are. art isn't about formulas, science is. art is much more subject to interpretation and emotion. therefore i can say that the killing is probably the best kubrick film there is, but it's not my favorite. a streetcar named desire is probably a better film than magnolia in terms of writing and direction, i don't honestly have the knowledge to say this one way or the other; but magnolia is far superior in my books for completely intangible reasons. music is often the same way. nevermind, you know all this already.
  • watched the first 6-7 minutes of a movie online today. actually wasn't too slow at 56K. movie was horrible though.


    • 10-20-00 (01:48)

  • haven't had much time to do stuff i want to do lately. if i had a girlfriend it would be worse i suppose.
  • work can be pretty dope sometimes. this is especially true when cute chicks have nothing better to do than to talk to some guy (me) behind the desk.
  • watched a good video in class today about the media. had seen it before actually, but it was cool to see it again now that i have more perspective.
  • updated movies list. kubrick has a knack for ending his movies so damn well.
  • not having friends is usually not too great.
  • the highlight of my day is when i bike to class and zoom past everyone, that usually lasts all of 4 minutes.
  • i'm going to go to a bar and get wasted now.
  • no one has told me whether they think "the immigrant" should count for my movie count.
  • i should probably be getting to sleep.


    • 10-19-00 (00:30)

  • johnny is officially coming this weekend. friday to be exact.
  • updated mp3 list. got to delete a bunch because of the new cds.
  • updated movies list.
  • updated poll.
  • finally got jimmy smith's "root down (and get it)" it was tough to find until napster had big problems and thus big publicity.
  • went to phil and jon's (and monique's), nothing happening there.
  • next year when i renew my 300 movie goal i'm going to try and repeat a lot of the classics i saw this year. i've got about 105 movies on my "to see" list which should be plenty for next year so i want to make sure and see some of the films i liked a second or even third time next year.
  • without going back to hunting and gathering i don't think people of the world will ever be truly free or equal. then again i don't know if that could happen even with a hunting and gathering social structure. i don't think it could happen with 6 billion people living on this earth either. we need fewer people wasting away in factories where they do the same thing for hours on end without actually producing anything of their own. it takes away from the whole point of production. fuck this world.
  • i want to work in a fast food environment sometime before i die.
  • if you just asked yourself "what the fuck is wrong with chris" then you don't have any clue who i am; you don't really know me.
  • the old saying that "it builds character" ("it" being hard work) is something i discover is more and more true every day. there are many who will never realize this. in this sense i hope bush wins, fucks the country completely and makes people re-realize what hard work is all about. you know all that shit old people talk about constantly? well there's something to it...
  • www.ballotmaker.com it's got some useful info. very good in certain areas...so far it mostly works for CA. it has stuff like the voting record for candidates and who endorses them, etc.
  • for my congressional district there's a republican, a mormon democrat, a crazy libertarian with a beard, and someone who has no information and whose email doesn't work. tell me now - is there any real choice there?
  • www.opensecrets.org
  • so here's the deal - your single vote doesn't matter - this is fact. but on the large scale this thought can lead to problems associated with low voter turnout. thus, i think everyone should vote. BUT, since your single vote doesn't count then you may as well vote for whomever you feel is the best candidate...whether that be nader, gore, peter pan, etc. it really is the most democratic and most fulfilling way of voting, given the current constraints.
  • discovered, by looking at the poll results thus far, that either i have a bunch of leftist people visiting my site or i have convinced a couple people that nader kicks ass. either way it's pretty cool.


    • 10-18-00 (17:41)

  • got 15 cds in the mail today. all for 20 bucks. awesome. updated cd list. after the shippment i now have 10 AC/DC albums. i never thought i'd have that many.
  • i wish columbia house or bmg had the beatles albums in their catalog.
  • tomorrow is going to be a shitty day because i have 6 hours of work and 4 hours of school, all in one solid block.
  • had some good breakfast burritos today. my new food kick is this pasta dish i've been making...lemon juice, parsley, chicken, tomato sauce, zucchini, pepper, garlic, mushrooms, all on top of penne.
  • finished off a roll of film today...need to get it developed soon.
  • rage against the machine are pretty much over now. zach left so that is pretty shitty.
  • found prodigy's first single online today, that is good i guess.


    • 10-17-00 (23:38)

  • there's a little quiz on www.speakout.com which will tell you who you should vote for based upon your answers to, and weighing of, some questions. it's pretty cool. obviously it's got it's limitations, but it got my top three right (of those on the list). it was kind of funny seeing all the republicans on the bottom of the list with such low compatibility percentages.
  • i would urge people to vote for nader just to signal a desire for change...whether they agree with him or not the best way to wake up those stalwarts in dc is to threaten their power.
  • i have hw to do. hmmm.
  • ended up not having to go do the kdvs thing from 1230-0330am tonight...they called me and said they had enough people. lucky guy.
  • i'm something of a freedom advocate so i have been battling over gun rights. what gives me the right to take away guns from law abiding citizens? requiring them to get a license, lock, and wait a few days before they can get a gun is just fine. past that i don't think the government should have the right. oh, except to limit the kinds of weapons. at the same time i don't think hunting should be allowed. i guess i haven't really changed my views now that i outline it all. nevermind anything i just said.
  • no movie today either. i could count one of the charlie chaplin movies we watched yesterday as a movie for yesterday...tell me what you think...it's about 25 minutes, it's on imdb.com, and it's charlie chaplin's mid-teens movie The Immigrant. should it count?
  • i could wear one rage against the machine shirt for every day of the week.
  • if you know of a place to buy re-applyable stickers online then tell me. i'm talking about the kind that adhere using static electricity rather than glue.
  • here's a headline for you:
  • *** Gore watched violent movies


    • WASHINGTON (AP) - Vice President Al Gore's criticism of violence in
    the media hasn't stopped him from buying tickets to bloody
    blockbusters. He listed "Gladiator" and "The Matrix" among his recent
    favorite movies. "I loved 'The Matrix,'" the Democratic presidential
    nominee said in an interview in the Nov. 9 issue of "Rolling Stone,"
    which appears on newsstands Friday. "Somebody gigged me in the
    mainstream media for not liking too much violence in the movies but
    simultaneously liking that movie," Gore said. "Well, you know, it was
    rated for adults. It was very violent, but it was a terrific movie.
    And I can hardly wait for the sequel." Other films Gore named were
    "Being John Malkovich," "East is East," "Erin Brockovich," and "Three
    Kings." Gore said he often watches movies to relax while on the
    campaign trail.

  • how about "gore likes incest...al gore recently admitted to liking "Gladiator" a film which clearly shows one of the primary characters as having an incestual interest in his sister. is this really the man you want running the country?"
  • give me a break.
  • updated the poll.


    • 10-17-00 (00:30)

  • big news today was that i didn't watch a movie today so the streak is over. i could watch one right now, but i don't feel like being up until 0230.
  • today was long, tomorrow will be longer - i'm volunteering at kdvs from 1230-0330. that's am of course. pretty shitty, but i get double hours and i means i don't have to wake up early (before 11am).
  • waking up before 11am should be avoided at all costs. of course when we painted during the summer waking up at 7am was the norm.
  • met some really stupid people at the reserves today. when i say stupid i mean that they seem to not have ever thought about life, society, or anything in any depth. i also met a couple people who seemed to have their head in the right place. that is always an attractive thing. i think i may have converted one of my co-workers to the side of nader. i got another to think seriously about voting. happy about that. i know i got marina to vote for nader too, it's all pretty good.
  • my memory is pretty bad, but when it comes to the hitchhiking trip i think i remember every single detail...i read a bit of my huge summary of it and hadn't forgotten about anything i read. boy what a trip.
  • i wonder who the first artist to say "Californ-I-A" was. i know the beach boys said it. so did dr. dre and the offspring...
  • i should go over my old editorials and revise them...should.
  • despite my not wanting to get married i think that i might take a wife if she agreed with me politically and musically. of course we wouldn't get married until we were 30, but that's okay.
  • asked a few "customers" at the reserves desk in the library if they knew who john coltrane or miles davis were. out of four people only one person said they knew...and she said it reluctantly. very surprising.
  • of all the people since the beginning of written history who lived past 5 years old i wonder what percentage went their entire life without having sex.
  • one of these days i should compile a "best of" from my site, put it all on one page and post it.
  • 49ers lost another close one. i feel for them. i love the 49ers. i wish i could just win the games for them in those last couple minutes.


    • 10-15-00 (20:40)

  • updated movies list. streak - 27 days. 160 new movies, 225 total.
  • covering the jazz show was fun stuff.
  • didn't get around to working on the car today.
  • lou, old friend from freshman year, came by today. that was cool, he's a funny guy.
  • played frisbee golf again today...we're getting it down to where we're +1 or par. one of these days we'll go under par...
  • i want to sleep.


    • 10-15-00 (02:50)

  • there's a great song by the the last poets called "niggas are scared of revolution"...the last poets are pretty damned great.
  • updated movies list.
  • all the chrome molding is on now. put the vw emblem on as well. got some paint for the wheels, going to do that tomorrow i think, not sure though.
  • saturday night live was really good tonight. thom yorke even held up a "let ralph debate" sign at the very end, it was pretty cool. i might get back into snl, it seems like the dark days are over. even the news portion is getting better. i have to admit it's getting better, it's getting better all the time.
  • used my grandfather's book today to see what movies dimitri tiomkin had composed for...as i suspected it was quite a lot, and also several classics...some of which i have seen recently.


    • 10-14-00 (14:55)

  • ford is making a commitment to increase fuel efficency in suvs. they're going to improve aerodynamics, decrease weight, add another gear, maybe two, and even have variable timing valve opening. it's a change which should have happened long ago.
  • the new racing saleen looking crazy and performs just as well as an f50.
  • there are 10 million people who own honda civics, i think 9 million of them live in california


    • 10-14-00 (00:47)

  • updated movies list.
  • picked up the bug today, looks damn good. put the chrome molding on (except for one troublesome piece). still needs a lot of work, which will be fun for the next months to come, then comes the interior. of course the whole time i need to keep him in running condition.
  • i wish i could change the world more quickly than one person at a time.
  • my life could be a lot worse than it is.
  • i dislike licking envelopes.
  • called the white house today, but was on hold for a while. try again later.
  • i think nader is the closest thing to a great leader my generation has seen. the problem is "we" are doing so well that no one really cares what he's saying.
  • if you're a non-white mother who works two jobs and doesn't have any insurance or benefits then i don't think you think "we" are doing so well. i forgot which white guy it was, but one of them said that illegitmacy was the biggest problem for non-whites. i've got news for you - you could have three husbands who all work 2 jobs each and still be without insurance. because a) no republican would ever allow universal health care to all americans and b) because most of the jobs clinton has created are low wage earning, part-time, and have no benefits.
  • i can't remember the last day i failed to point out to someone the simple fact that cuba has health insurance for all its citizens and the u.s. does not.
  • my ranting doesn't help.
  • going to sub for damany's jazz show on sunday, should be good. lots of listeners i'm sure. 3 hours of solid jazz should be fun to do.
  • i'm definitely a night person. it's too bad i always get motivated at 2am or later.
  • i want to buy this great piece of machinery. i should just get a loan approved and buy it right now. this one is nicer, but a 71 would be a better year.


    • 10-13-00 (01:30)

  • updated movies list.
  • football is coming to los angeles. extreme football, that is. the xfl proves to be interesting at least for the first season.
  • the nba has shifted around a lot in the off season. ewing isn't with the knicks, the kings got rid of corliss, kemp is in portland, rice is in new york, man it should be fun trying to get reacquainted with all the new teams.
  • i like portland's chances again. sacramento looks good again. sadly so do the lakers. it really seems that the west is where it's at.
  • i had a irrational moment the other day. i thought about ralph nader actually winning the election and how great it would feel, then i came to my senses. for those two seconds, though, it was a great feeling. it was a feeling i'm sure many african-americans felt when joe louis won the heavyweight championship, and probably the opposite feeling as when MLK was assasinated.
  • did some more research to solidify my vote...nader's site, bush's site, gore's site. discovered that i agree with nader on every issue he spoke to. if you have 30 minutes then you have enough time to be educated enough to vote for one of the three. i think it's sad that in a country with almost 300 million people we have only 3 who are being considered for president. oops, i mean 2.
  • if you don't turn on to politics, politics will turn on you.
  • there is a girl in my popular culture class who was acting completely retarded today. it's amazing how ignorant some people are. we were talking about popular music (e.g., backstreet boys, blink 182, etc.) and the counter pop culture music (bad religion, radiohead, rage against the machine, etc). she said that all of this talk was annoying and people shouldn't be ragging on n'sync "because they're good and i like them, and they have talent, and i'm happy for them making it big..." she also said that no one wants to be depressed while listening to music. i wanted to tell her that being depressed a couple hours out of the day is a small price to pay for not being ignorant. i honestly think that if all of america was more open to the ideas that these bands purport then 600,000 rwandans wouldn't have died without any help from the u.s. if the price for a little awareness is being depressed then so be it.
  • i wanted to break her face.
  • going to call the white house tomorrow.
  • donated 10 bucks to ralph nader today. also volunteered to help out with various things.
  • wrote emails to nbc, cbs, pbs, abc, fox, and the person in charge of the presidential debates telling them all they should allow nader in the debates.
  • what is wrong with people that makes it so that they need a war, revolution, disaster, crisis of some sort every 20 years in order to enjoy and be thankful for what they have? nader think that "the best way for them (children) to learn is to develop a civic curriculum, civics, where they learn about history, and reading, writing, arithmetic in terms of understanding the reality of the world around them, starting with their own community's history and their own community's problems and challenges." what a novel idea. history is important and people need to know how it relates to things around them...some can make the connection themselves, others can't...teach them how.


    • 10-12-00 (14:27)

  • i'm thinking i want to stay in davis next year after i'm graduated.
  • looks as though i just missed my first two classes. forgot to set my alarm. i was doing well up to this point.
  • a riot be the rhyme of the unheard.
  • it's not rainy.


    • 10-12-00 (02:34)

  • some people annoy the shit out of me so much i couldn't care less about their problems (which usually amount only to gap discontinuing their favorite pair of khaki shorts). other times there are people who seem so damned awesome i wish i could take their weight and carry it myself.
  • music is kinda cool. understatement.
  • sleep is sparse these days.


    • 10-12-00 (00:00)

  • updated movies list. the streak stays alive - 23 days 37 movies. 221 movies so far.
  • watched the debates. bush "won." he won in that he made himself look better than gore, for the most part. hearing both of them talk about gay marriage was depressing. if you want to know the truth about all the claims each spat out during the debates go here. the same dose of truth, for the first debate, is here. the only thing that "impressed" me (if you can call it that) was that bush kept talking about education. there were a couple of awkward moments which were entertaining.
  • when they were talking about foreign policy and how to deploy troops i so wanted one of them to step up and quote the grapes of wrath (Tom Joad) - wherever there's people struggling, i'll be there, whenever a cop is beating a guy, i'll be there... that movie was epic, so was the song, and i'm sure the book is too.
  • new tool album coming out in april i hear. i think 2001 will be a good year for music...rumors of the beastie boys, rage (2-cd set), fugees might work on something...and more.
  • "listen to the facist sing 'take hope here, war is elsewhere, you were chosen, this is god's land, soon we'll be free, of blot and mixture, seeds planted by our forefather's hand.'"
  • "i'm epmty please fill me / anchor assure me / that baghdad is burning / you voice it is so soothing / that cunning mantra of killing / i need you my witness / to dress this up so bloodless / to numb me and purge me now / of thoughts of blaming you..."
  • i just can't stand shallow people.
  • when i get a girlfriend she had better have money.
  • those last two lines sound absurd juxtaposed as they are, but i swear i've heard people say those things in the same breath. it fucking kills me.
  • i've been really getting into the new ratm album lately.
  • i think the first politics i ever got into were in music. it was 1991 and use your illusion II had just come out. the first track (civil war) was my favorite, and at 11-12 years old seemed really revolutionary.
  • much fuss is made about third party candidates and the way in which they run. perot had the same problem back in 92 and 96. everyone claims that the third party candidates take the route of running against politics. people, especially in the media, seem to think this is a bad thing for politics and usually end up charging perot or nader of being too negative (to varying degrees). i think in the current system, running out of a third party almost necessitates focusing on the negative. after all pointing out the failings of the two major parties has historically been the platform for third party candidates. in essense, focusing on negative aspects of politics is in my view the duty of all parties attempting to break into the two-party system.
  • "You have people who are killed or injured with guns and you have law-abiding people who want to use certain kinds of guns for self-defense. How do you blend the two? First of all, make sure the weapons are designed safely with trigger locks. ... Two, strong law enforcement so that they're not falling into the hands of the criminal element. Three, you look at a weapon the way you look at a car. You've got to know how to handle it. You should be licensed. ... And four, there are certain weapons that should be banned. If you do all that, both interests will be protected." -ralph nader
  • "I think homosexuals have the right of civil union. There are economic reasons for that and there are humanitarian reasons for that, and I think the Vermont decision is a good one, and I think homosexuals should be given equal rights and equal responsibilities." -ralph nader
  • he believes in publicly financed campaigns.
  • "We've had 10 years of economic growth, but the majority of the workers are making less today, in inflation-adjusted dollars, than they made in 1973 or '79, which is a remarkable departure from our history. When the economy grows, usually most people are better off. And 47 million workers -- that's over a third of the work force -- are making less than $10 an hour; many of them five and half, six, seven dollars an hour in Wal-Mart, or Kmart, or McDonald's." -ralph nader
  • "...the financial wealth of the top 1 percent of households exceeds the combined wealth of the bottom 95 percent." -fact
  • if you like what nader says more than what the others say then go ahead, dare to be an optimist and vote for nader. oh, wait, no one is that free.
  • one last note - officially picking up the bug on friday. gives me the weekend (assuming it doesn't rain too much) to work on it.


    • 10-11-00 (17:46)

  • if it weren't for vern i might hate radiohead. on both the beastie boys and rage against the machine newsgroups there are radiohead fans who have nothing better to do than proclaim radiohead's dominance, and what's worse is they do it by knocking other bands. it doesn't make too much sense to me.
  • got wind that tom morello is going to vote for nader. another wasted vote!!! sarcasm.
  • going to watch the two-person debate now. it's amazing how fickle people are...i heard that gore lost votes because he sighed and moaned too much when bush distorted his economic plans.
  • do me a favor - if you want to vote for anyone other than those two, then do it. there's nothing worse than people feeling their freedom is taken away because of the two-party system.
    • it's only a matter of time...
    10-11-00 (00:56)
  • updated movies list.
  • life has been taxing. if i wasn't me then maybe i'd just take some prozac or depakote or something and be normal.
  • orson welles is pretty good (understatement). my uneducated guess is that he was influenced by hitchcock, at least moderately.
  • today was long, tomorrow won't be as bad. still no time to pick up the bug.
  • rainy day number two. three is coming tomorrow.
  • heard a rumor that bush is going to try something tricky involving a last minute vp swap. we shall see.
  • i'd like to get a little ahead with the movies so that i can have a buffer going into the thanskgiving and xmas holidays. although both are perfect opportunities to just sit in front of my dad's tv and watch any number of his 500+ movies.
  • according to my records the last time a movie won the big four (best picture, director, actor, and actress) in the academy awards was 1991 - silence of the lambs, before that it was 1975 - one flew over the cuckoo's nest. damn that was a great flick.
  • do everyone a favor and don't vote for bush.
  • people have been calling me "sir" lately. it's not "young man" or anything of the sort, it's like they know about to enter into the post-school world or something. strange.
  • when i die please laugh up a storm and play some good music.
  • DANNEMORA, N.Y. (AP) - A free-lance TV producer was held hostage at a maximum security state prison for more than four hours Tuesday by an inmate convicted of killing a New York City millionaire. Inmate Kenneth Kimes, 25, held a pen to the throat of Maria Zone, and ordered her camera crew, filming for Court TV, to "back off," Department of Correctional Services spokesman James Flateau said. Officials said he demanded that his co-defendant, his mother, not be extradited to California on murder charges for which both could face

    • the death penalty. An officer observing the interview pushed an alarm and called for help, and prison negotiators spoke with Kimes, Flateau
    said. He said Zone was freed by officers who distracted Kimes and then wrestled the inmate to the floor. Zone was not injured.

    10-9-00 (22:34)

  • i don't like having choices taken away from me.
  • updated movies list.
  • b-boys dvd comes out tomorrow, yay.
  • rainy days and mondays always get me down. today was both, but it wasn't too bad.
  • i'm really happy with the way jeff garcia and randy moss played on sunday, despite the loss.
  • now that it's raining i can wear the same clothes everyday. yippee.
  • music is the soundtrack to life, sadly it usually is more often the soundtrack to people sitting at the computer.
  • pEopLe WhO wRitE likE thIs arE re@lLy annOyINg.
  • with all the people in the world you think there would be a higher proportion of interesting ones.

    • this made me laugh, but good lord is it sad.
    10-9-00 (01:56)
  • i think it can be said with a good degree of certainty that any girl who uses a screen name such as "little angel" or "princess" or anything along those lines is useless in society, other than as a consumer.


    • 10-8-00 (22:56)

  • updated movies list.
  • 49ers played some great ball today, unfortunately so did the raiders. i don't like it when my two favorite teams play each other, it sucks.
  • giants lost today. so did the athletics. a bad day for my sports teams.
  • i've got a good amount of light in my room these days.
  • trying to find some good stickers online...tried ebay. if you know of a place that i can get vinyl stickers let me know.
  • actually did some homework today.
  • it's going to rain and get down to 55 degrees on tuesday. that sucks.
  • finally got around to listening to that scorpions album jorgay gave me a while back. i'm surprised that it doesn't suck.
  • went by the reserves today to pick up a book and saw erin there. she seemed genuinely happy to see me. women are so tricky sometimes.
  • mondays and tuesdays are rumored to suck ass for chris this quarter.
  • saw a survey asking how often people think computers need to be replaced 31.7 percent said every two years, 20.6 percent said whenever they break, and 19 percent said one year or less. i said three years.
  • i'm glad my computer hasn't broken in a while.
  • i discovered today that there is such a thing as one-sided bullet proof glass. pretty crazy, very cool though.
  • here's something interesting: If daytime running lights were on all the vehicles in the U.S., we would burn an extra 406 million gallons of gas each year. That's only a couple gallons for each vehicle, but in total it is more than all of the vehicles in the country burn in a day. At $1.50 a gallon, that's $600 million per year. Looking at it another way, an extra 8 billion pounds of Carbon Dioxide would be added to the atmosphere by this law.


    • 10-8-00 (01:08)

  • updated movies list.
  • john travolta is one of the more dumb actors in hollywood. i say this because of the movies he has been choosing lately.
  • the wwf (world wrestling federation) embodies everything that is wrong with the world. women are portrayed as sex objects, stone cold steve austin, after being fired, assaults his boss. when he wins a match he smashes a beer can above his head and drinks it as it falls all over his face. who supports this crap?
  • went to sacramento today about 30 minutes before maaco closed (thanks to the slow buses and my inability to set an alarm while half asleep). it ended up that the car was done being painted, but the fixtures (head lights, running boards, etc.) had not been put on. so rather than wait around for them to do a quick job i told them to take their time and i'd be back on monday or something. car looks good, a lot nicer than it did before. i'll need to figure out a way to swap the interior hardware because they used a later model door on the driver's side. i want to swap the door panel, window crank and vent window crank. shouldn't be too bad.
  • it's cool that there is still stuff to be done. this way i'll have more of a part in making it look good.
  • talked to 43 year old drunk guy who hates his ex-wife on the bus today. also talked to a 25 year old gay guy who likes britney spears, ricky martin, older men and talking to me.


    • 10-7-00 (01:14)

  • looks as though i will pick up the bug tomorrow.
  • updated movies list. also updated all the imdb links and put next to the title if i saw the movie on my dvd player or the big screen. all others were viewed on vhs, tv, or jon's player.
  • looking back on the year i'd say that watching all those movies has been very productive.
  • i've seen 151 new (haven't seen since i was 12 years old) movies. didn't count anything before the age of 12 as being seen because i was too young to understand/remember them.
  • walked a lot today. from home to downtown, then through campus, ran into a couple people, got some errands done. then walked to the video store, visited danielle's house. by chance ended up running into leslie (vern's ex) and her goons. took about two minidiscs' worth of time.
  • nothing means anything in the end. you're wrong no matter what you think. i think that's the point of all philosophy courses.
  • going to rain on tuesday and wednesday. fuck.
  • phil told me my life was exciting.
  • i think that four years ago i wouldn't be able to say that i have enjoyed my stay here on earth, now i think i can - exciting or not, it has been enjoyable.
  • it's funny how different people have different ideas of fun. of course there is only one right way, i'll assume that my way is the right way.
  • sarcasm can be so fun sometimes. if you don't think so then you're wrong.
  • okay, enough of that.
  • i wish i was friends with mark borchardt.
  • it seems as though some critics are giving american beauty a lot of respect because of its controversial subject matter. controversial? it's amazing what people think controversial is. i don't think i'd even call kubrick or stone controversial and they've done some movies which trump american movie in terms of controversy.
  • there are some albums i can listen to no matter what mood i'm in. nevermind would be one of them.
  • the guy who directed welcome to the dollhouse (Todd Solondz) is rumored to be working with mike schank on a new movie.
  • i should sleep now that it's 2:40.


    • 10-6-00 (03:20)

  • i've been tooling with the idea of getting a job at the local video store. an idea.
  • updated movies list.
  • listened to a couple doors albums about eight times last night while trying to sleep. the doors are pretty damned great.
  • some girl ran into my bike while i was cutting through the bike circle today. she fell and i kept going. i felt really bad, but for some reason i didn't stop. i must be an ass or something.
  • my sleep schedule is never going to get back to normal, so it seems.
  • had a really good sandwich for dinner today.
  • nothing much to report.


    • 10-4-00 (19:40)

  • getting to and from school is so easy now that i'm so close to campus. it's fun to weave in and out of the freshmen at high speeds. it takes about 4 minutes, at a leisurely pace, to get to the furthest point on campus.
  • put the september updates where they belong.
  • called kvie to see if i could get a commercial to be run, apparently they don't do that stuff.
  • i don't like my war class, the only class i would take instead of it is full so i'll have to stick it out.
  • i hear they're going to make .kids and .sex in the near future.
  • got my work schedule.
  • word on the street is that phil got a job.
  • the other word on the street is that georgia, who ousted vern and i, has decided to live in chicago. all for naught i guess.
  • updated movies list. yet another movie i have already seen, but didn't realize until i already had rented it.
  • on average it rains four days in october in sacramento. i'm crossing my fingers.
  • i can't think of much to do other than watch movies lately.
  • if i listen to music then i'm going to be on the computer at the same time. i don't like being on the computer, it's not fun.
  • can't wait to get the bug back and start work on that.
  • i can't remember the last time i had to format my harddrive. i probably have forgotten how to do it by now.


    • 10-4-00 (23:58)

  • last month marked the third full year that i've had my webpage up.
  • updated movies list. in the last two days i've seen a bunch of really small "movies" from 1893-1927, but mostly around 1906, in my film class. it's cool to start from the very beginning and see what people did "back in the day." in many ways they were more creative then. then again they had more room to be creative than we do now. if i ever became a director i'd like to start as a silent film director and go through the same evolution...although much more quickly. i think it would be a good exercise. if you become a famous director and decide to do the same thing then maybe you can mention my name.
  • my popular culture teacher isn't exactly the best teacher for the course, but the subject is interesting enough to make up for it.
  • my american thought (political science) teacher, on the other hand, is probably the best teacher i've had in college. he's really exciting, funny, real, and controversial. he says pretty much whatever he wants which includes cursing and saying really challenging things. he's got mental problems (which he has admitted), but as a result is more on the ball (in his thought and theory) and more inclined to say what he is thinking than most. he's the most unprofessional and effective professor i've met. i'm taking notes for my future teaching days.
  • the paint place called to inform me that they need to get a new door for me so that's kind of a pain. i might take the bus there tomorrow to check things out.
  • tolerance and brotherhood strengthened by solid and liberal education.
  • there is a girl in my film class whose eyes are pitch black. she's god's daughter.
  • watched some of the debates today. nothing too great.
  • i've watched at least one movie everyday since 9-19-00, i think that's the longest streak of the year so far.
  • are you free? stop buying what they tell you. stop thinking that buying things makes you happier.
  • consumerism sucks. i'm a part of it.
  • lasting happiness comes only from producing things yourself and helping others.
  • the newest stp album is good enough to own.


    • 10-3-00 (02:35)

  • three more today. updated movieslist. it seems all i do these days is sleep and watch movies. fine by me.
  • i hear the fugees are going to start working together for another album. yay.
  • went to the offspring website and discovered that they're not going to be releasing the entire album online like they said. sony stopped them i guess.
  • had film class and war class today. film class looks good and i got to see the general which has been on my list of movies to see for about a year now, just haven't been able to find it in davis. the war class seems dumb.
  • phil left his bike unlocked the other day and the inevitable happened. i'm sure some money will fall from the sky and his financial problems will be solved.
  • going to be watching a few films i've already seen in film class. 300 movies is a lot for a year, i think it was a good idea.
  • i have quite the "movies to see list" building up


    • 10-2-00 (01:30)

  • sundays are very boring.
  • updated movies list. 206, and still behind.
  • hopefully i can work it out so that i've seen all the movies on AFI's top 100, i've seen almost all of them so far.
  • tomorrow i have the rest of my classes.


    • 10-1-00 (03:14)

  • updated movies list. as it turned out i watched two horror flicks and a documentary about the making of another today. three total.
  • got the signed american movie dvd in the mail. it's great. has the two filmmakers, mark, and mike all commenting during the film. then there are a bunch of deleted scences, coven (the short film), and of course the movie without commentary.
  • had planned on going to a party today when i realized that i don't give a shit about anything invoved in that party. had a better time watching american movie and the u.s. basketball team beat france.

    • michael johnson ran his last olympic race, it was good.

    9-30-00 (02:17)

  • no class today.
  • went and helped old friend's brother by making sure his computer worked before they paid the people who fixed it. didn't even know i had this friend until she called and asked for the favor.
  • was in sociology class the other day and the teacher asked if anyone had heard of karl marx...just about everyone raised their hands. then he asked if anyone had heard of marx as a social theorist, same result. then he asked if anyone had heard of karl marx and communism - i was the only one to raise my hand. this was in a class of over 100 people. i wonder if people thought it was a trick question or what.
  • updated movies list.
  • watched more of the olympics. i think a lot of the olympics is a joke. i know for a fact that if you picked five of the best basketball players in los angeles, coached them together for a year and put them in the Olympics that they would win all the games they played. my point is that the "dream team" which is representing us now isn't the best the us has to offer, isn't really a team, and shouldn't have to win by 20 points against a team which has trained together for years and really does have the best that country has to offer.
  • i need to learn how to be more firm when i say "no" to people. that, or people need to take no for an answer more often.
  • watched a video today which showed me how to tune-up the bug. as soon as i get him back i'm going to start tuning him up and hopefully finishing up final touches on the outside, then start on the inside full bore.
  • i think led zeppelin is a pretty good band.
  • the frat next door is loud and annoying. then again so are most girls.
  • i think the only time that pcs were ahead of macs was when they thought that computers could be pieces of furniture. the new imacs make that statement with all the new colors they're coming out with. ibms have always had the cream color and the black color. i actually new a couple people who bought the black monitors, cases, mice, keyboards, etc to make their computer more of a fashion statement. macs just took it one step further.
  • i'm going to try and stop complaining about things which i can reasonably change. i therefore reserve the right to complain about the government since i cannot reasonably make a significant change. and so forth.
  • jones got a bronze in the long jump. oddly she got it even though she had the second longest jump, the reason being that she was tied with someone else. the rule is that in the event of a tie the person with the longer jump prior to that jump will be the leader. that rule cost her the silver and me 25 cents.


    • 9-29-00 (01:21)

  • saw the women's soccer team score the best goal i've ever witnessed. with about 20 seconds left in regulation they tied the game. they ended up losing to a (according to andres cantor) lesser norway team. cantor is a broadcasting legend at this point. he yelled "gooooal" for 22 seconds when cameroon beat brazil.
  • watching the russians play the americans in basketball. there was a little bit of a squabble at the end of the half. i'm for brotherhood and amiable relations most of the time, but there has to be a time when people can be somewhat uncivilized and let things loose. i think sports are a great venue for this. that's why i don't have much of a problem with people occasionally fighting during sports. this is an unpopular view, but i think to deny one's urges is to deny the very thing that makes us human. the catch being that there should be a time and place. sports provide this time and place for me.
  • the 200m race was a disappointment because it should have been called back because of a false start. as a result john capel ended up losing. without a doubt had the start been a fair one he would have won by at least 2 tenths. such is the olympics.
  • the bronze medal winner in the decathlon - chris huffins - seems like a really really cool guy. happy for him.
  • class was good, both my classes seem fun and interesting.
  • found out that becoming a government teacher is one of the harder subjects to find an open position in. might need to take up to three tests. it's all going to be a drag, but i have a long time to do things step by step.
  • only one player on the entire us olympic basketball roster has won any championship - gary payton got a gold in 96. no one else won in the college finals or nba finals. i'm really surprised by how many people on the "dream team" are basically just second rate players. eventually the rest of the world will catch up, eventually.
  • going to watch high noon now.


    • 9-28-00 (02:00)

  • classes tomorrow from 12-3. 3-? figuring out about being a teacher. ?-? helping phil with his bed. that sounds bad.
  • updated movies list.
  • updated schedule.
  • i think it's really cool that pearl jam is releasing 25 cd sets to their fans - all live stuff that normally would be bootlegged for 25 bucks a pop. i never understood why more bands didn't sell their live material.
  • it'll be cool once the cd players which recognize mp3 files are cheap. they're about 200 bucks now, but then again each cd can carry about 750 minutes worth of music.
  • i want to watch the basketball game versus russia tomorrow night. should be fun.
  • speaking of basketball - i hope everyone got the chance to see vince carter dunk over (literally completely over his head) a seven foot player. jumped over him, dunked the ball, celebrated. it was one of the best moments in the sydney olympics.


    • 9-27-00 (01:48)

  • updated movies list.
  • waking up early tomorrow to do a favor for vern, then shooting over to phil's to help him out with his life, then i have a meeting for work.
  • olympics were really good today.


    • 9-26-00 (16:24)

  • didn't watch magnolia today, but i listened to the last third. there are some movies/albums that really get rolling at certain points. the b-side of abbey road, the middle of paul's boutique, and the last third or so of magnolia are all examples of everything clicking well and rolling along perfectly.
  • took in the bug today at around 1030, took the bus back. it'll be done sometime next week.
  • there are too many hot chicks out and about these days.
  • went on campus and asked about graduating on time, being a teacher, etc. need to come back thursday to find out about teaching credential programs.
  • i'm officially going to start purchasing beatles albums on cd. my abbey road lp is a little warped in one point and makes a tick throughout the album.


    • 9-26-00 (03:08)

  • updated movies list.
  • malcolm gets about 8 coats of paint in the next week.
  • freshmen have all moved in, it's a pretty sight.
  • got five more movies today. i think this year has been very good in terms of covering the classics. i've seen lots of movies i had not seen before and a few which i had, but didn't fully appreciate until the second viewing. at the end of the year i'll count how many new movies i've seen.
  • school starts thursday.
  • goto library job wednesday for orientation type stuff.
  • saw michael johnson cement his dominance in the 400m. it really is too bad he has no competition. there would be a sub 43 second 400 if he was paced for the first 250. then again i've never thought too highly of pacing, though the europeans do it all the time.
  • only 12.5 gigs free on my secondary hard drive.


    • 9-25-00 (03:37)

  • updated movies list.
  • women's diving champ is from the u.s. - that rocks.


    • 9-24-00 (06:00)

  • updated movies list.
  • "since i don't have you" by the skyliners is probably the saddest song ever.
  • i think vern's going to be gone all day tomorrow.
  • tomorrow is church day so there will be even less to do.


    • 9-23-00 (04:57)

  • just retrieved jesus from phil's house. saw the popo coming right towards me while i was in the bike lane. killed the engine and thus the lights, but i'm sure he saw me. i retreated into the bushes and looked for brake lights, saw none. cranked him up again and jetted the rest of the way home. jesus guides, jesus saves.
  • not sure whether to sleep and try to wake up at noon or so and watch two movies before the olympics or to watch a movie now and sleep later into the day.


    • 9-23-00 (02:15)

  • i'm going to start being more tough in my ratings of recent movies because there are far too many thumbs ups.
  • updated movies list.
  • my days consist of this: wake up fairly late (usually from 1-2pm) watch a movie, eat, play frisbee golf, watch olympics (7p-12a), watch movie, check email, update page, sleep, repeat.
  • the 50m men's freestyle was awesome today - got to see the american's get two gold medals in the same race - a tie. they were both underdogs too. very fun race to watch.
  • saw michael johnson, jones, and greene win their respective races which means they all qualify for the quarterfinals.
  • running boards came today, now all i need to do is to drop off the bug for a week or so.
  • finished my wrench sleeve holder thingy. i think i'm fresh outta projects, except for malcolm.
  • i think my first project in that category will be making some kind of mobile toolbox which should include needed parts as well as tools.


    • 9-22-00 (02:05)

  • updated movies list.
  • just watched the us basketball team beat lithuania by "only" 9 points. i think its so sad that people will be criticizing the US team for having beaten a team by only 9 points. a) they won. b) they're playing a team that includes an entire country's best players. c) they're playing a team that has practiced together for years more than they have. d) this year's dream team is missing the following nba players: shaq, kobe bryant, david robinson, patrick ewing, tim duncan, reggie miller, scottie pippen, glen rice, mookie blaylock, terrell brandon, eddie jones, penny hardaway, grant hill, john stockton, karl malone, chris webber, juwan howard, latrell sprewell, keith van horn, etc. that's a small list of some of the greatest players in the world all of whom are not (but could be) playing for the US team...take any five of them and i'd bet that team would beat any team in the world. all this and yet people, when they hear of the "upset" will cry in horror "how could the US be so close to losing?"
  • people take things for granted.
  • played frisbee golf today, got two birdies, it was a good round.
  • it's amazing what ignorance does to people. it's also amazing how exciting sports can be when you actually understand everything that goes into them. the ones that don't generally enjoy basketball are the ones who claim it is just a matter of "throwing a ball into a basket."
  • i don't know, but i think ignorance is bad.
  • if there's one thing i can't stand it's intolerance.
  • the exorcist is being re-released, that's pretty cool. watch it if you haven't already.
  • i think M is one of the greatest movies under 100 mins long. paths of glory is in there too (87 mins).
  • the person upstairs doesn't like it when i play music at 3 in the morning. freak.
  • i wonder if anyone took that last part seriously.
  • saw two movies i had already seen, but enjoyed both of them more the second time than the first.
  • need to rent the awful truth, this is spinal tap, barry lyndon and some others the next time i go to the rental place.
  • i'm tired and hungry.


    • 9-21-00 (02:07)

  • "we keep comin they can't wipe us out, they can't lick us, cuz we're the people...we'll go on forever"
  • updated movies list.
  • it's amazing how much of an impact railroads have had on making the world more "white." they facilitated westward movement and manifest destiny more than any other invention. at the same time they could become great equalizers - literally putting small towns on the map by virtue of being close to the rail. i'm sure there are books on just this subject.
  • grapes of wrath was really really good in a lot of ways. i finally know exactly what the song "ghost of tom joad" is all about. i more or less knew before, but seeing that last scene with henry fonda cemented it.
  • one of the great exchanges was between a farmer whose land is being taken away by "the man" and the messenger who gives him the bad news. kind of need to see it to appreciate it.
  • finally fixed the dining room table today, found some wood, nailed what needed to be nailed and now it works great. if only we had some chairs.
  • i need more light in my room, but refuse to buy something that comes for free 12+ hours a day.
  • made a quasi LP case by cutting off the tops of a cardboard box, works well enough and was free. boxes are normally very expensive - i was surprised to learn this.
  • started making my wrench sleeve a while back, need to make a lot of stitches, but the overall design is laid out and should work well. i wanted to have a place to put all my metric wrenches without buying a special case. so i cut off the leg of one of my old jeans and am using it to make a long piece of cloth with slots in it for wrenches. i will end up putting all my metric wrenches into their respective slots and then rolling up the whole pant leg which should fit nicely in my toolbox. verdict isn't in since i haven't sewn it all up yet.
  • bob costas was funny today and set the record straight when some retard said that misty hyman's victory over o'neill was "the greatest upset in olympic history." i'll admit that it was quite an upset since o'neill hadn't lost in the last 4 years and it was pretty fun to watch. costas pointed out that the u.s. beating the russians in 1980 in hockey was more of an upset. he actually phrased it more along the lines of "that was quite an upset, but as for the greatest in olympic history...? well, there was a certain hockey game in 1980." that's the beauty of bob costas - he's got a good deal of style.
  • the beastie boys/rage against the machine tour is officially canceled.
  • i like what the preacher in grapes of wrath says about "good" and "bad."
  • word on the street is that johnny might be coming to davis for grad school type activities. that would be neat. he might even come this weekend; that, too, would be neat. if he does i might get more LPs for my "LP case."
  • where are the free market advocates? i haven't heard anyone talk yet of capitalism supremacy in the context of athletic competition (esp. the Olympics).
  • our ant problem has decreased significantly, however they still creep up on us occasionally while we sit around.
  • seen two of the ten movies i rented...need to see 3 tomorrow.
  • i think that the triathlon in this olympics was a joke because it was too short. i like the ironman far more.


    • 9-20-00 (01:05)

  • updated movies list.
  • went to kdvs and had the show today, it was decent.
  • afterwards we went to work and tried to do the impossible.
  • as soon as the running boards come in i'll take in malcolm to be resurrected.
  • talked to the management today about getting a covered parking space. they are such white hoedunk white people, it's quite funny. they're actually really nice, despite cussing constantly, talking about "orientals" and their trash emptying habits, etc. at first they explained that they not only didn't have any open spaces, but open covered spaces are reserved for tenets who have been here for a year or more. i explained to them that i was getting the car painted and talked to the guy about volkswagens for a bit (he once owned a 1968). they're going to clear aside a spot for me which should work out well.


    • 9-19-00 (00:10)

  • at the just 4 hours ago i would have told you that my day was completely open, free to work on malcolm, wake up late, watch movies, the olympics, etc. now i have work in vacaville and a kdvs show to do in the morning. i was actually looking forward to not doing anything. that'll have to wait till tomorrow.
  • our air conditioner works a lot better than i had first thought.
  • finally got around to doing some laundry today.
  • had a bbq today and finally ate that trip tip that has been sitting around since my grandmother's visit. it was really good.
  • offspring is pretty cool in my book. news.
  • went golfing today, that was cool. my unorthodox shot is pretty effective.


    • 9-18-00 (01:38)

  • updated movies list.
  • updated cdlist.
  • there is plenty to report about from the oakland trip, but i can't remember any of it.
  • we went to a dim sum restaurant. that was a first for me.
  • sarah tried new foods, that was also a first. yay sarah.
  • jon wants us to work tomorrow, i think not.
  • got two rare beastie boys albums...one a demo paul's boutique cd, the other a mike d solo album featuring all country music. both are good, the country album is surprisingly good - everything country could have been - funny and good.
  • saw a couple of nice bugs, got/gave a couple waves to others passing by. in one section of traffic a hottie asked me what year malcolm was...as it turns out she had a 73.
  • watched some of the olympics tonight.


    • 9-17-00 (19:31)

  • went to oakland. malcolm didn't even try to turnover while i was there and about to leave. i don't think it's the starter, maybe the battery or something. at any rate it made it back and forth without any big problems.
  • went into san francisco and checked out some the the touristy type locations.
  • got 74 hits last week, that's a lot.
  • haven't seen any of the olympics so far. plan on working on the car, watching movies, and the olympics for the next week or so.


    • 9-14-00 (23:48)

  • finished painting today, probably have a few touch ups to do, but it's basically done.
  • went to dentist - oh joy.
  • chatting online can suck because sometimes you are so bored and the other person is busy and as a result will be really passive in their chatting.
  • going to oakland tomorrow.
  • want to work on malcolm on monday.
  • i need to rent a bunch of movies one week and just go crazy...i could get 10 for under 9 bucks at 49er video...should, could, would.
  • the beastie boys dvd (2 dvd set by the way) is going to be so phat. multiple camera angles, songs remixed in dolby 5.1, live video mixing, band/director commentary, still photos, 18 music videos...i'm so ready for it. i'm getting all bubbly in my stomach, shit yea. they say it's probably the third best dvd ever...what are the first two?


    • 9-13-00 (22:08)

  • work progressed fairly well today. worked 9 hours, that's 23 so far for the job - i think that might be a lot, then again jon didn't work very much the first day because of errands.
  • malcolm performed well, but when i started up the car after dropping off jon it lagged when i stepped on the gas, this was the same symptom as when i needed the valves to be adjusted. hopefully it will run well for the next 170 miles until i can adjust them.
  • i wish i knew more about my car, i need someone who really knows there shit to show me everything on the car.
  • work tomorrow until about 1pm, then go to the dentist. phil is coming to help work, i think we should finish by 1pm, not counting packing up.
  • the internet is cool, but i really don't use it very much. i get bored of it quickly...i don't have enough places i like to goto on a regular basis so my rounds are usually pretty quick.
  • the doors album i got (l.a. woman) is pretty cool. it's not a best of but it has a good sampling of their stuff - blues, psych, straight rock - it's nifty and solidifies their position - above pink floyd and below metallica.
  • well it's september 13th, tupac died on this date, as did bill borchardt. as a side note - phil also had sex with cynthia on this date. my intention, as you know, was to pour out some alcohol (as is customary) for my fallen brothers. i went to buy alcohol yesterday but safeway wouldn't take my credit card check. today i went to state harvest market (the nearest market to the new place) and they didn't have any hard liquor. when asked why they said "we don't sell hard alcohol; the store is owned by christians." i shit you not. fascism isn't good. i don't like alcohol, but i think people should have the choice. so i will pour out the alcohol for them another time.
  • it might be a sign that i'm not destined to ever buy alcohol.
  • 5.0 was on my tail today, i was lucky and was able to ditch him. it was close and got the heart racing - i plan not to have it happen any time soon.


    • 9-12-00 (23:12)

  • well the boss man didn't call us today telling us that our work sucked so i guess that means we're good enough to work tomorrow.
  • malcolm gets to drive tomorrow. i hope he does well this week...got to go to vacaville tomorrow. sacramento on thursday. oakland on friday. back to davis on sunday. i'm going to try and adjust the valves when i get home after oakland. hopefully next week will pretty much free for me to work on him and square away the paint job gig.
  • it might rain tomorrow, that would suck big time.
  • didn't watch a movie tonight, darn.
  • saw a really horrible "story" about internet entrepreneurs on dateline tonight. i'm not sure why we watched it. they used pink floyd's "money" in the background. it was really wrong.
  • my fan works really well on the receiver, it's dope.
  • no time.
  • worked on clearing out the room a bit today, it's getting there.
  • school starts in two weeks.
  • updated my schedule, i think it looks pretty good so far.
  • wanted to take race relations (sociology, but it was canceled) want to take corporations and society (sociology) but i think it conflicts with some other class i'm taking. i'll be done with political science after this quarter and only have 16 units left for the sociology minor. i might need to take some kind of science class in order to graduate. figure all that out later.


    • 9-12-00 (19:30)

  • work sucky again. hopefully we can finish this job up tomorrow - i need money like none other.
  • busy again, kinda sucks.
  • got a doors album, a police album, and the magnolia soundtrack. i'm happy with the orders too bad columbia house won't be getting their money for a while.
  • need to buy some alcohol so i can pour it out for my fallen brothers - bill borchardt and tupac shakur.


    • 9-12-00 (01:54)

  • let's not talk about work.
  • mary and cute friend kelly came over today, mary wasn't nearly as immature in the company of kelly as she was with katie. watched a movie.
  • updated movies list.
  • updated cdlist.
  • work tomorrow could suck.
  • updated poll. i think it's a tough one and the "why" would be more interesting.
  • installed a fan for my receiver. it was free, has a nifty switch so that i can use it whenever i want, it's hidden, not too loud, and work really really well.
  • got platoon and some cds in the mail today. i order them when i have money and get them when i don't. such is life.


    • 9-10-00 (22:45)

  • back from the trip.
  • work really early tomorrow.
  • got to hang out with jesse and omar from the old track team. it was fun and made me realize that i don't have friends like that anymore.
  • updated movies list.
  • the trip was good, but there isn't much to say about it.
  • dentist on thursday, oakland on friday, busy week.
  • stp and red hot chili peppers had a concert today, oh well.
  • rage against the machine is playing la on the 12th and 13th, oh well.
  • ac/dc is playing with someone else good this weekend, also in la. oh well.
  • watched mtv2 while we were staying at occidental college...pretty cool station. cable is the devil.
  • room is still messy, need to sort that out tomorrow after work which starts early, but should end very early too.
  • guess i missed football today.
  • can't afford food.


    • 9-6-00 (02:57)

  • we leave tomorrow around noon for the trip to la. going to try and see as many people as i can while there, we'll see what happens.
  • phil's birthday is thursday, actually moving stuff in santa monica on friday, jon has a ucla football game on saturday, leave sunday...should be hectic.
  • watched a bunch of movies today.
  • updated movies list.
  • dvd player has been performing well overall. there have been only two or three minor glitches so far. verdict not in yet though.
  • got the mouse out of the house today, without killing it.


    • 9-5-00 (03:57)

  • been using icq and aol im more often lately. whoop whoop.
  • there is a mouse in the house. may or may not still be in my room. live and let live i guess. although i must admit the first thing i did was get my machete and flashlight.
  • my room is starting to take shape.
  • leaving for los angeles either the 6th or 7th.
  • all my duct tape is missing. duct tape is the shit.
  • FAIRFAX, Va. (AP) - Jonathan Taylor Spielberg and Steven Spielberg have one thing in common: a talent for fiction. That talent made Steven rich and famous. It could get Jonathan Taylor deported. He allegedly duped a Catholic high school into believing he was the nephew of the famous filmmaker, and the Immigration and Naturalization Service is seeking send him back to his native Iran. Spielberg, 27, legally changed his name from Anoushirvan D. Fakhran in 1997. In the fall of 1998 he enrolled at Paul VI Catholic High School, claiming that he was 14 and that Steven Spielberg was his uncle. School officials uncovered the scam in January, and Spielberg pleaded guilty to forgery for submitting phony forms to the school. He was given two years' probation. Federal agents took Spielberg into custody last week. He faces deportation because his forgery conviction violates his status as a permanent resident.
  • wow, not even vern will be able to pass for a 14 year old at 27.
  • bought more crap today for the dvd player so that it would work despite copyright bs. it ended up being free because i whored my name out to sprint long distance and msn. there was a hot chick working at radio shack.
  • i should buy water from now on, it's better and encourages drinking more.
  • speaking of drinking i need to buy some gin and peppermint schnaps to pour out for my fallen homies - tupac and bill borchardt who both died on september 13.
  • i'm sure i'm going to be playing plenty of frisbee golf this year since the course is about 20 yards from my front door.


    • 9-4-00 (21:39)

  • it's amazing how consistently inconsistent computers really are. sound comes out of my computer now. whatever.
  • i need to get a computer power supply so that i can hook it up to my huge fan and cool my receiver which is now housed in a particle board slot.
  • room is more or less finished in terms of the big stuff. now i need to fill the furniture and closet. both closets in this place are too big. i might put my dresser inside or anything vern needs stored away.


    • 9-4-00 (20:00)

  • found a site that has a new beastie boys live show up every week on mp3. it's great. the beastie boys even say "sharing with friends is okay, selling for profit is not."
  • bookcase is up and somewhat decent looking. some of the shelves are a pain to adjust.
  • i'm not getting any sound from my computer. really really really really annoying. cds play off it, the line in works, but i can't play wave files or mp3s for that matter.
  • i think i have the mental problems of a rock star, without the talent.


    • 9-4-00 (15:00)

  • wise is the person who knows when to stand alone and when to thunder with the herd.
  • i hate it when people say they are kidding when they really aren't. it's worse than just lying.
  • jon and monique are back together again.
  • vern finally bought the vespa, 2600 big ones.
  • we might not be going to la now, at this point that is fine by me.


    • 9-3-00 (22:23)

  • pretty much moved in finally.
  • updated movies list.
  • i have no money, but keep spending it.
  • money causes too many problems.
  • i care about too many things and don't care about some things that i probably should. it's not wise to care about things because levelers will always drop on new dvd players, shelves will always be too long or too short, and cars won't always work.
  • my phone number is the same, my room is bigger, rent is bigger, boredom factor is bigger, this year will be interesting.
  • moving sucks.
  • i need to start asking my friends for more favors.
  • i also don't think i'm well equiped to have friends.


    • 8-30-00 (19:39)

  • BYU grooming codes:
  • Men
  • A clean and well-cared-for appearance should be maintained. Clothing is inappropriate when it is sleeveless, revealing, or form fitting. Shorts must be knee length or longer. Hairstyles should be clean and neat, avoiding extreme styles or colors, and trimmed above the collar leaving the ear uncovered. Sideburns should not extend below the earlobe or onto the cheek. If worn, moustaches should be neatly trimmed and may not extend beyond or below the corners of the mouth. Men are expected to be clean shaven; beards are not acceptable. Earrings and other body piercing are not acceptable. Shoes should be worn in all public campus areas.
  • Women
  • A clean and well-cared-for appearance should be maintained. Clothing is inappropriate when it is sleeveless, strapless, backless, or revealing; has slits above the knee; or is form fitting. Dresses, skirts, and shorts must be knee length or longer. Hairstyles should be clean and neat, avoiding extremes in styles and colors. Excessive ear piercing (more than two per ear) and all other body piercing are not acceptable. Shoes should be worn in all public campus areas.
  • mission statement..."All students at BYU should be taught the truths of the gospel of Jesus Christ. Any education is inadequate which does not emphasize that His is the only name given under heaven whereby mankind can be saved. Certainly all relationships within the BYU community should reflect devout love of God and a loving, genuine concern for the welfare of our neighbor."
  • i don't think i've eaten anything today.
  • i want to move sooner rather than later.
  • went to the video store and talked to emily. she moves on friday i guess it's better that way anyway.
  • i've got movies to watch, but i don't feel like watching them right now. i feel more like a big burger with some seasoned fries and an oreo cookie shake or maybe one of those fresh fruit shakes from hamburger hamlet. hamburger hamlet was cool while it lasted.
  • i've listened to wyclef's new album a few times today, the same goes for rage's first album. the first half of wyclef's album is better than the second.
  • played some quake today. watch out because it might make me go on a killing spree. how ridiculous.
  • got the two fenders from jc whitney today, that means i have everything i need to take the car in to get painted.
  • my standards are too high for the now atrophied mister willie.
  • rock and jazz both have performers who are considered the greatest innovators genre. they have an artist, or group, that stands out as having really progressed the art over a good amount of time with consistency. the beatles and miles davis both did far and away more than anybody else had ever done. i wonder if that will happen in hip-hop or techno. there are greats in each, there are consistent performers in each, there are fathers of each, but neither seems to have a far and away stand out group that match up to miles davis in jazz or the beatles in rock.
  • public enemy has done a lot of things to advance hip-hop but they aren't as consistently great as the beatles were. afrika bambaataa did a lot to start new school hip-hop and even techno, but wasn't at all consistent. in this sense the beatles are pretty amazing. if you think about everything miles davis did for jazz it's like four lifetimes' worth. kraftwerk are basically the fathers of techno, but didn't have anywhere near the same output as miles davis or even the beatles. just try and name a hip-hop or techno act that has come out with 13 albums...miles davis came out with closer to 30.


    • 8-30-00 (02:32)

  • there are some pieces of art that just hit the right spot. there are great pieces of music that never hit that spot, but are still great. then there are the pieces of art that are so poignant that they hit the spot everytime and will live forever. i think this is why simon and garfunkel, pink floyd, tupac, nirvana, et al. will live in infamy. something about artists like that which will inspire and move every generation from now on. the same is true, of course, for film. it's a wonderful life is a classic example...magnolia i hope will be looked upon in the same way, one flew over the cuckoo's nest....
  • there are those, too, that have elements of social commentary which will be historical landmarks of the time. bob dylan, public enemy, pink floyd, nirvana, devo, bob marley, dead kennedys, u2, krs-one, et al. in terms of movies i think "in the heat of the night" falls in that category. speaking of which i updated movieslist.
  • there are some very redeeming qualities of plato's republic. families are separated at birth so you must (in theory) function as if everyone is your brother and sister. i like this.
  • i come up with some wack shit sometimes. i honestly don't know why i started thinking about plato/socrates.
  • what happened to white people that makes them suck so much?
  • if i become a teacher i'm going to have to avoid such questions. honestly though...what lead white males from europe to have such an overwhelming desire to colonize, control, and convert non-whites? is it inherent within all and just a matter of whites having advanced quicker than others? that is, if non-whites had reached industrialization before europeans would they end up trying to colonize? no one knows i guess, but i'm sure there are brilliant people out there with views on it and i bet you they don't agree either.
  • so there are brilliant conservatives and brilliant liberals. brilliant republicans and brilliant democrats. so where does that leave us?
  • good news - my car shipment is slotted to come sometime this week so there shouldn't be any trouble because of the move after all.
  • my phone number remains the same, as well as the song. i think vern will get that one and maybe johnny.
  • often my music allusions go over peoples' heads. it's almost like when my grandparents start talking about movies or books, good lord what a sight to behold.
  • now that i think about it i pretty much have only one side of my family. i wonder what would have happened if i had been raised in alabama with my other grandfather. nature or nuture? i'm guessing i'd own a gun by now. i'm sure i would have bagged my first big game by now too. a nice deer or something. i would have skinned it, cooked it up, and put its head on a piece of stained wood. one day it would hang over my fireplace and mary-anne and i would sit on our rocking chairs, me with my pipe, her with her knitting materials. we'd sit there and rock.
  • honestly - why is it okay to kill lettuce, but not okay to kill deer? why is it okay to eat cow, but not dog?
  • i'm against domestication of animals. if you must have a cat or dog then you should get one off death row, i mean the pound. what's more, you should treat this animal like a member of the family, anything less is inhumane. when i'm 60 and can give enough time to pets i will get a dog from the pound and let it eat off the table. it will eat from the same t-bone as i. it can sit up on the chair for all i care, or maybe i'll just lay on the floor and eat with it. just the dog and me. ahhh, that's the life. i'll have a hearing aid and a fake set of teeth. i'll be sterile because i drink too much mountain dew and play the bass on my stereo to loudly.
  • cars are the coolest piece of engineering you see everyday.
  • this is emily's last week. i might see her when i drop off the video tomorrow.
  • i don't know where my rubberband is, i need to get some more.
  • jesus came over today. that's hay-sus (roommate from freshman year), not god's son jesus. hay-sus was in a foreign country on a "mission" (presumably from god). while he was there he helped orphans, he prayed for them, and "interacted with them." i was tempted to ask how many converts he got, but socialization kicked in (it rarely does these days). i want to go to a foreign country and feel real good about changing the way people live by showing them the light, the way, the western way, the way of god, etc. it would give me such a happy feeling inside. especially if i thought i was doing a noble thing by showing them that the afterlife is all that matters.
  • don't go crying for an afterlife while they steal this one. i think malcolm x would agree.
  • i think smoking too much crack has made this update more exciting than i had anticipated. maybe i should sleep.


    • 8-29-00 (22:00)

  • got my new portable cd player, it's really inexpensive and works well. i have it hooked up so that i can play cds and listen to the quake sound effects at the same time which is nice. it doesn't sound as nice as when it goes straight through my receiver, but it's decent enough.
  • played some golf today with vern, vern's cousin (allison), and jon. that was fun. we went on the driving range and then did some practice holes on the putting green. i'd say that allison is cooler than most any other girl i've met while in college. that goes to show you how lame the selection has been this year. allison is also 14 so maybe she hasn't been soiled yet.
  • in other news: we cleaned much of the house today. the kitchen is still a bit dirty.
  • phil comes up tomorrow around 9pm.
  • looks like we might be able to get vern to come down to la now which will be cool, i think we'll have fun. it's everything a road trip should be.
  • i should just pretend i have a girlfriend from now on. i should have mock phone calls in the middle of movies. i should stay on the phone for hours and then come out with a long face and tell everyone how we've been on the rocks lately. then the next day i'll we'll have great make-up sex and i'll be cheery again. note to friends: from now on 6 hours out of the day will be spent with "cassandra" sorry if you wanted to hang out.
  • i think david lean needs to have hired a good editor for his movies.
  • we picked up another paint job today. we'll just tell student works that we forgot about it, but we'll paint it anyway. i think we should make some profit on this mutha.
  • i think nader will go down in the books like debs.
  • i'm going to vote nader. it's retarded to vote gore just because it's going to be a close race. my vote doesn't matter either way so i may as well vote the way i want to vote. at this point i want to vote anything other than the major two so nader seems the logical choice, just to make a point.
  • 113 thousand votes separated nixon and kennedy.
  • i don't want kids, ever. i think people should stop breeding for a couple years.
  • i re-realized today that this world sucks nut.
  • jim kurring (john c. reilly in magnolia) is the absolute shit. i love hime like none other.
  • i think i'm my own best friend. not sure if that is pitiful or really cool.
  • freedom is tricky business.
  • i realized yesterday when i was warming up my car that malcolm is the shit. he sounds so damned good.

    • i am a tard
    8-29-00 (00:54)
  • didn't do anything of much import today.
  • vern were deciding what we should do when mary (jon's second girlfriend) and her friend, katie, walked in. jon is SF, but they didn't care so we went to jamba juice, border's, and then saw a movie back at home. i'm going to send their parents the bill in the mail.
  • tomorrow is slated to be hectic. lots of cleaning. a few errands i should run, one being getting a refund for phil's abandoned train ticket.
  • soundgarden is better than i remember.
  • looked at a "top 1000 albums ever" book today. those lists are always fun because i never agree with them...nor does anyone so they are the center of debate. at any rate, this one was put out by virgin megastores and had zero hip-hop albums in the top 130. they had a few techno albums (prodigy's two big ones, chemical bros...) they had jazz, blues, even country all within the top 130 albums. the 131st album was public enemy's "it takes a nation of millions to hold us back." i think it's sad that the best hip-hop album, to them, couldn't crack the top 130.
  • for the record: i think the beastie boys' "paul's boutique" is a better album than public enemy's, but they're both great and i can see how pe's album would be chosen over paul's boutique.
  • the first four were revolver, the white album, abbey road, and nevermind. i like the beatles, but they're overrated.
  • one last note on this crappy list: led zepplin didn't make an appearance until after prince (the artist) in the mid-30s. there aren't 30 albums better than led zeppelin IV, there are maybe 10, at best.
  • i revised my favorites page so that the cd section is easier for me to do. i have it separated in groups now...top ten, top thirty, etc. there are more than 10 in the top ten, that means some might be tied. it's called an easy out. as opposed to your mom, who is an easy in.
  • that one was too easy.
  • owning all the beatles albums will fuck up my whole damned system. i can avoid them now because i don't own them on cd, but once i do then they're going to demand i high place on my cd case and a high place on my rankings list.
  • luke finally updated his fucking fucking fucking website.


    • 8-28-00 (01:32)

  • wyclef's new album is different. not as good, but it's growing on me. some of the beats are off the hook, crazy mad ill, if you know what i mean. kenny rogers makes a cameo and wyclef combines country and rap, it's actually good. that's why wyclef has skills. both wyclef cds have cd-text which is cool because my cd player supports it.
  • went to the video store twice today. as it turned out the video store girl was there both times. i told her about my 300 movie goal and told her about my charming personality, we had sex. actually we only talked for a couple minutes. this is her last week working there so time for me to do nothing is limited.
  • made some apple pie tonight, it's almost all gone.
  • updated movies list. stacy came over, we also had sex.
  • i think i'm beyond having a relationship. i say beyond because i realize that they're pretty much a waste at this point.
  • if jon comes back home tomorrow then we'll clean the house, if not, then i'll have no part in it. or maybe i'll just get fed up with it and clean anyway. i want not to unless everyone is present. we'll see.
  • phil says he's coming up on wednesday.
  • vern says he doesn't want a five day vacation because 15 bucks a day plus food is too much to pay.
  • there are some things in life i will never understand.
  • streaming video on the internet is a joke, especially when you only have a modem.
  • i think clinton is in the upper half of the presidents, but i think he did his fair share of idiotic things. "welfare reform" not being the least of them. there is an article called "the worst thing bill clinton ever did" it's about welfare reform. i have mixed feelings on nafta. creating jobs is good, creating minimum wage, part time, non-benefit yielding jobs is not. the rich are still getting richer, the poor - poorer. americans are still without health care, though that is more the fault of republicans, i think.
  • "acting like you drink alcohol, when all you do is throw up."
  • i barely could recognize jon voight in catch-22...man has he aged.
  • the only woman in paths of glory happened also to be kubrick's wife. she did a really good job in the movie too.
  • i just realized that bill borchardt died exactly one year after tupac. i'll have to pour out some extra juice for another fallen comrade.
  • kinda updated my favorites page.


    • 8-27-00 (01:22)

  • search for one-eyed jimmy is on tv. it's a funny movie.
  • watched patton. updated movieslist.
  • if a war movie ends in the army rejoicing then i think the whole movie has missed the fucking point of war.
  • i'm very interested in the history of war, though i know very little about it. i'll do something about that tomorrow.
  • 130 movies left to watch, 126 days left in the year. i really have slacked off this last week.
  • today was spent alone, but was not entirely lonely.
  • put a kvie (local pbs station) sticker in my car today. it's one of those that sticks because of static electricity rather than glue. works for me.
  • i should watch two movies tomorrow and get a couple more for monday.
  • scott won't be here monday so i guess cleaning will be delayed.
  • i really hope we get our security deposit back, if we do i'll splurge and buy some textbooks this quarter.
  • november 7th is the new release date for fatboy slim's album. we'll see about that.


    • 8-26-00 (21:45)

  • there's a toyota truck commercial that shows a pickup truck going off on some trail bumping about and such. eventually is stops and deposits a green liquid that has been accumulating during this trip on the trail. the liquid is then stored in a container labeled "adrenaline." the commercial isn't anything great, but if one could bottle adrenaline surely prodigy's "music for the jilted generation" would be the source for infinite amounts of the said adrenaline.
  • played quake while listening to prodigy at a very loud volume, it was excellent.
  • i haven't really eaten today. had a sandwich which was good.
  • bought some chrome cleaner for my car...holy shit it works really really well. polished up the bumper, which was once rusted beyond recognition, to a nice shine. did the same for three out of four hubcaps...the fourth is damaged so i may as well buy a new one. best thing about this chrome cleaner is it's cheap and goes a long way, even though i spilled much of it on the ground. retarded.
  • i wonder if vern got the scooter. i'm thinking he didn't since he hasn't called or emailed. that would be cool if he did though.
  • i think my car is the project i've been seeking out for so long...it's something i can work on every weekend if i want, it's something that will need work for quite a while, it's something rewarding, and it's something that is varied enough (interior, exterior, mechanical, audio, etc.) that won't get boring. on the down side it costs money, lots of it.
  • the niners keep losing close games, it sucks nutsack. i'm sorry i mean it sucks scrotum.
  • the raiders kicked ass over the seahawks so that's retribution for the niners. yay.
  • ted stossel (sp?), the idiot from 20/20 - not connie chung - the other idiot, was going off about how society takes drug use among politicians lightly yet prosecute people for possession of drugs harshly. he's right in that there is a hypocrisy there, but he's still a moron.


    • 8-26-00 (15:19)

  • here's what kind of weirdo i am: today i was worrying that i wasn't being a fair owner to my stereo equipment. i tried to figure out what i could do to be a better person to my receiver and cd player. i am worried that they have a consciousness and if they do then i am basically enslaving them. i finally realized that there isn't much more i can do to be a better person in regards to my treatment of my stereo equipment. i don't let other people use it, i blow the fan towards it when it is hot, i don't abuse it, i don't leave it on all the time, i dust it regularly, i don't overload it, i'd say i'm pretty nice to my stereo equipment...i hope he thinks the same thing.
  • i think more people could relate if i were talking about my car...the fact is that i treat almost all my possessions with the same love as i do my stereo equipment and car.
  • there isn't much in life that one can control. something i feel i can, to a certain extent, control are my possessions. you can't control what your friends are going to do to you, what people think of you, the weather, the mistreatment of people across the globe, who becomes president, etc. you can try your best to control yourself and your possessions. the problem is that most of the time your possessions end up owning you... as long as i can stay away from that then i'll be okay in that regard
  • i think all of this babbling has wasted too much of everyone's time.
  • i burned the hell out of my finger tip last night.


    • 8-25-00 (23:17)

  • really didn't feel like watching "giant" tonight.
  • went to safeway and say this hottie who was in a couple of my poli sci classes, driving by in her jeep while listening to moby. i turned around and walked right by her as she was going to her car. instead of talking to her about moby or my chiseled chest i just kept walking. dumb.
  • then i got to the safeway parking lot and saw the video store girl in a jetta with her friend. she waved, i waved back. nothing there.
  • then i finally reached safeway and saw a guy who i could swear went to my high school. rather than asking him i shopped on my merry way.
  • it's 11pm on friday night. vern is at home, possibly with a new scooter, jon is at his tahoe home, scott is either at work or at a bar. this is what separates me from the rest of the college world.
  • my cd case looks a little nicer from now that the clear stain has dried.
  • my room is a little cleaner now that a bunch of my crap is in boxes.
  • i might be selling one of my gay monitors tomorrow for 10 bucks.
  • updated mp3list.
  • updated cdlist.
  • not only are relationships not for me, but dating isn't for me either. wow.
  • i can't convey to you how boring this all is right now. moving out in about 5 days, no one is around, all the packing that can be done has been done, cleaning will be done on monday, don't feel like watching a movie, icq is boring, a girlfriend would be nice in this situation.


    • 8-25-00 (19:04)

  • we stained the front door of our last job, that was interesting because the son was there with his friends one of which was a hot chick.
  • afterwards we went to the last ever payroll friday and said goodbye to everyone. i wore my "pimp the bitch" shirt and jon wore his "you're all whores" shirt. it was funny to us, but probably not to them.
  • vern is in santa clara looking over a scooter, he may come back on sunday with a new vehicle or not; we shall see.
  • got the new wyclef album, listening to it right now, sounds good. he's a really great producer.
  • people aren't meant to be happy, rather to pursue it (happiness) constantly. with all this industrialization and excess freedom and leisure time people get far along and then realize that happiness can't really be achieved by the methods society has set up.
  • the message is an exceedingly great song in every way possible. nothing pops out as a better song in the 80s, not right now anyway.
  • simplicity of character is the natural result of profound thought.
  • i've got three movies to watch...two are over 3 hours long.
  • i've also got some stain that i want to use on my cd case.
  • 20:40...stained the cd case, now i'm getting high on my own supply. i mean on the stain fumes.
  • i'm going to watch at least one movie today.


    • 8-25-00 (01:31)

  • the new rage against the machine video premieres tomorrow. it has a bunch of footage of various people like oliver north, clarence thomas, monica lewinsky, bill clinton, the big seven ceos (of the big seven tobacco companies), etc all raising their right hands to an oath. of course the obvious implication is that they're all the same in that they all have lied. it also cuts between gore and bush both saying, almost verbatim, the same things. the end of the video says that 50% of the american people won't vote because of a lack of real choices. it's a great video. if anyone can get it in any movie file format i would be forever indebted.
  • marc gave me a couple short shorts to read, which he had written. i liked them overall.
  • the last poets is a great black jazz poetry style group.


    • 8-24-00 (19:58)

  • finished our last job today. we were plenty underbudget too which means we have finally gotten our shit down.
  • there was a bmx style bike at the house. it had no brakes, but worked okay other than that so we gave it a whirl in the backyard. i have finally learned how to lift the rear wheel while riding. lifting the front wheel has always been easy, but lifting the rear wheel was a feat i had never reached until yesterday when jon learned me how. it's pretty dope to finally be able to do that. now all i need to do is lift the whole bike from the ground in one deft maneuver....
  • tomorrow is payroll friday. one last look at the capitalist scum that comprises student works painting.
  • i'm trying to get rid of worthless shit that has been accumulating in my room. got rid of a butt load last night, but still have some choices i need to make.
  • moving in just 7 days. starting school again in about 30.
  • a road trip is in the works for sometime early september. not sure if i mentioned it already. at any rate it could be cool, but it could cost a tidy sum as well. if we could figure some way to disable the odometer then we could get many miles for free and therefore make the trip much easier on everyone's pocket book. another problem is where we will sleep while in la. we shall see how/if it works out.
  • i'm pretty down with queen. even though they're pretty much a singles band they're pretty good.
  • vern is saving me 250 bucks by letting me use his monitor. whew.
  • paid for more insurance yesterday, quite a chunk. i think i'm going to start whoring myself out in september.


    • 8-23-00 (22:07)

  • wasted a couple hours of my life watching that survivor crap.
  • i'm on an elo trip.
  • there's a funny picture of vern on johnny's website. good fun.
  • luke and ryan should update their page once in a while.
  • we worked pretty quickly today. tomorrow we'll be done.
  • tribe called quest just about defines good hip-hop.
  • amazon is having a very tempting sale on a shit load of classic rock. (remember that shit load is more than a butt load, but less than a fuck load). at any rate, pretty much all the beatles albums are 12 bucks, same with led zeppelin, pink floyd, etc. i could get all the beatles albums and only be a couple hundred in debt. ha.
  • the jump feature on winamp rocks.
  • the poll results are shaping up to be somewhat interesting. some optimistic soul thinks i've already gotten laid. if only...


    • 8-23-00 (17:47)

  • cooked up my apple sausage a couple days ago and it was pretty damned good.


    • 8-22-00 (21:32)

  • phil is gone.
  • work was short today. this is our last official job and will probably end up being our last job of the summer.
  • there is talk of a trip down south in a rented uhaul truck. it would cost a lot though. phil seems to be moving in sometime in early september, last i heard.
  • i think feast or famine is a good way to live one's life.
  • 23:57...
  • marie has an ebay feedback rating of 17210 now. crazy.
  • don't bring me down is a great great song. elo, of course.
  • packed a bunch of shit tonight, that was good to do.
  • paths of glory is a great movie.
  • i think i have a bad memory. names definitely don't stick.
  • been getting a lot of rare nirvana lately. i want all their singles. singles are hard to come by...same with just about every band. music stores only keep the recent ones, online they either don't have them or rape you on the price. you should make a music store online that sells just singles.


    • 8-22-00 (01:32)

  • couldn't go to sleep last night, it sucked.
  • my tooth is a bit sore still, but overall good.
  • didn't work today because the rover had some heat problems. i was okay with not working.
  • watched 3 movies today and worked on the bug. phil helped me install some insulation. it'll help keep the car at a more steady temperature, which will be very nice in davisesque weather. it also should help dampen some road noise. it was cheap and a worth while project.
  • updated movies list.
  • looked online for a dvd player and a camcorder...just for shits and giggles. can get a really nice camcorder for 400 and a versatile dvd player for under 300.
  • insurance bill came today. also got a letter from bill clinton, finally.
  • anne heche broke up with ellen. i'm sorry, but i have to laugh. just as i laugh at macaulay culkin claiming he has met his "soulmate."
  • work tomorrow, this time for real.


    • 8-21-00 (01:47)

  • meet vern's brother today, didn't think that was ever going to happen.
  • played some kind of ultimate football game in the pool today. it was fun. phil's head meet my tooth though. my tooth is still sore which sucks.
  • rented two movies, watched zero. i'm officially behind schedule now which also sucks.
  • i could get a decent camcorder for under 300 bucks and a pretty nice one for under 400.


    • 8-20-00 (17:32)

  • today has been extremely boring except for the hour that tiger was playing some epic golf.
  • we have work tomorrow. i won't be able to sleep tonight.
  • i should rent a long movie or something.


    • 8-20-00 (03:23)

  • the day was boring again.
  • phil brought up his video camera so at night we filmed each other doing stupid things...from mock "cops" type stunts to riding on jesus at midnight. it was fun.
  • arla is gone from safeway forever and i missed saying goodbye. that sucks.
  • there isn't much to do on the computer these days.
  • my stomach hurts.
  • i can't wait to move and start over.
  • i want to build something.
  • i don't listen to soundgarden as much as i once did.
  • got another run dmc cd today. haven't had time to hear it though.
  • moving is going to cause problems for all the things i've ordered which haven't come yet. i'll have to sort all that out sometime next week.
  • somewhat sleepy.


    • 8-19-00 (02:34)

  • updated movies list.
  • went golfing today.
  • went to the dentist the other day.


    • 8-18-00 (13:50)

  • phil is here.
  • it's coming up on the time to start cleaning and packing up. moving should be a good thing.
  • haven't been watching many movies lately which is pretty stupid, i might go watch one today.
  • we've done absolutely nothing lately. jon is usually with mary at night so the rest of us sit around and grumble while watching tv.
  • i wish i hadn't woken up so early today...it would have been far more exciting to just sleep till 6pm or so.
  • phil says he's going to live in davis next month...with jon and monique. that would be interesting.
  • rage against the machine put on a surprise concert in front of the democratic national convention to protest the two party system...while Ozomatli played a riot ensued. i think ratm is cool.
  • still bored.


    • 8-16-00 (00:02)

  • phil comes tomorrow
  • i have work tomorrow
  • bought some supplies for the bookcase i'm going to be making.
  • updated movies list.


    • 8-15-00 (04:09)

  • woke up at 4pm today, that was fun.
  • updated movies list.
  • today was pretty much useless.
  • watched bridge over the river kwai finally. it was really really annoying throughout most of it. there isn't anything more annoying than pompous brits. i think william holden saved the movie. actually the ending saved the movie more than anything else. wasn't quite worth 2 hours 40 mins.
  • we have work wednesday. phil might be coming up tuesday night or maybe wednesday night.
  • jon got kicked out of davis, but then got back in again. no surprise in either direction there.
  • updated editorial page. i doubt it makes any sense at 4:30am. then again war doesn't make sense anyway.
  • i should probably sleep before i get anymore screwed up.

    • 8-12-00 (23:32)
  • i judge many things by their best or worst. this is why magnolia holds such a high place in my heart or why dan marino will never be a great quarterback in my mind.
  • led zeppelin albums are like potato chips - you can't have just one. whenever i listen to a led zeppelin album i want to listen to another after the first is done. i'm listening to led zeppelin I and soon i'll be listening to led zeppelin III.
  • mom came up today.
  • updated movies list.
  • somewhere in this world there is probably a person named jacob matthews. i wonder what his story is.
  • baked an apple pie today, it tastes good.
  • need to get a new monitor soon because the one i use now is borrowed. i should sell my other semi-working monitors as well.
  • i'm better suited to live in the 60s. political movements, great music, free love, good cars, etc.


    • 8-12-00 (01:03)

  • updated movies list.
  • there was a hot chick at the video store today. i didn't make much of an effort, such is my life.
  • doc came over and slept through half of the movie.
  • today was very boring.
  • updated stupid poll, answer honestly it should be interesting.


    • 8-11-00 (02:07)

  • so there's a dilemma arising...nirvana wants to move ahead of black sabbath, metallica wants to move ahead of nirvana, the doors just moved ahead of guns and roses. pink floyd wants to be ahead of guns and roses and the doors and will likely do so. some of the problem lies in the fact that i have all the good black sabbath albums, all the nirvana albums, all the metallica albums, all the guns and roses albums, and almost all the doors albums. this shifting is very important because it all takes place within the top ten. i can foresee pink floyd moving up big time just because i haven't gotten several of their albums still. then of course there are the beastie boys and rage against the machine, both bands have not finished making albums so they could make a run on each other, or even led zeppelin.
  • led zeppelin, beastie boys, rage against the machine, black sabbath, nirvana, metallica, the doors, guns and roses, pink floyd, ac/dc, ccr, deep purple, stp, jimi hendrix, rolling stones, red hot chili peppers, elo...
  • that wasted a lot of space.


    • 8-10-00 (19:16)

  • seinfeld is coming up soon.
  • this week has pretty much sucked large hairy nuts.
  • worked today which will be nice when i get the money.
  • didn't learn very much today because i was working. talked to old man who paints his own tractors piece by piece. he seemed cool. he has a son who does autobody work, but is too busy to work on anymore cars.
  • i want to get an internship at an automotive repair place. i think cars are extremely cool.
  • bought a vw magazine last night with money i have only temporarily.
  • doc has been visiting a lot lately, this is good. not as good as pink floyd's "dark side of the moon"
  • gave my sister simon and garfunkel's "bridge over troubled water" - she better recognize its greatness.
  • got three more cds today (in mail) two by the doors and one by eazy-e. cdlist updated. my ac/dc and doors collections have rounded out quite well in recent weeks.
  • nirvana is begging to pass up metallica. with metallica's recent decision to sell their souls i might oblige nirvana's wish.
  • i should cook food and watch tv.


    • 8-9-00 (20:42)

  • if one says 'fuck' too often then it loses its meaning...the same applies to thank you, sorry, please, love, and many other words.
  • updated movies list.
  • there are some movies that may be flawed in their construction, but when you look back on them all the good things stick out...those movies are the kind i really like. serpico and vanishing point are of that type.
  • bought a hammer and crowbar today.


    • 8-9-00 (14:04)

  • looked on the library of congress page and it seems that ted kazcynski's book was never released, although it was supposed to be published last year. i guess i should have expected it.
  • i woke up about 10 minutes ago and have already learned about super and turbochargers on cars...very cool stuff.
  • the new porsche 911 turbo kicks some major ass. 0-60 in 3.9, 192 top speed, excellent handling, gas mileage which is better than a lot of suvs and it's twin-turbocharged. it's also cheaper than equivalent aston martins and ferraris.


    • 8-9-00 (01:18)

  • here is an article about how to fit in at kdvs...it's pretty much right on; so much so it's sick.
  • updated movies list.
  • got chased by the po-po (police) today while on jesus. eventually i stopped and he yelled at me to come toward him. i told him i was going back home to get a coupon for blockbuster video. he told me i needed to have a motorcycle license and helmet for jesus. i played dumb and asked him more questions along this line to seem concerned and ignorant. he answered them like the knowledgeable and nice officer that he is. finally he let me go without any problems...i was free and he felt like a good man/cop.
  • donated 120 bucks to kvie (local pbs station) today. i think i get a book in return. it's only money.
  • i have realized that i will be forced to spend a lot of money in the next months...books, first and last months rent, furniture, other moving in/out costs, etc.
  • i learned more today than i did yesterday.
  • it seems people have an idealized view of their relationships. macaulay culkin sure did. people always have people in their life they think will remain friends for a very long time, usually that doesn't end up being the case. if someone is realistic about this then it's considered bad, i've never understood this.
  • i'm still trying to find kazcynski's book...it seems as though it never existed....the publisher says it has halted publication of it. sounds like the man to me.
  • the kitchen is clean again.
  • we haven't worked since friday and i have no idea when we are going to work again. although jon asked me at midnight if i was willing to work the next day (the next day being 8 hours from when he asked me). of course i said no.
  • the good thing about not being in power or having many friends or having many plans with the friends i do have is that when i make an impulsive decision it doesn't affect anyone. one more reason not to have a wife.


    • 8-7-00 (23:47)

  • updated movies list.
  • Macaulay Culkin and his wife are splitting up, it's amazing how predictable that was.


    • 8-7-00 (19:12)

  • chris on being a DJ: i've thought about not being a dj next year. being a dj, for me, is about playing music i enjoy. if i have a co-dj then it should be a cooperative effort. when being a dj becomes more about catering to an audience or worrying about what my audience does or does not enjoy then it isn't as fun for me. this is somewhat against what most djs believe. last quarter the radio show wasn't as fun as it had been in the past. my co-dj played his music and i played mine, there was little or no cooperation. thus i think i will not become a dj next year unless i have my own slot or we have a late night slot which will open up our show a little more to experimentation and probably be more fun.
  • i can foresee senior year being very crappy.


    • 8-7-00 (17:00)

  • updated movies list.
  • updated cd list. tower is constantly changing their layout around, kind of annoying, but i like how it looks now. picked up the new rage against the machine single - on the cover is fists of freedom picture...the classic 1968 olympics medal ceremony picture. i also picked up coltrane's 1965 ground breaking free jazz album - "ascension."

    • Tommie Smith and John Carlos after placing 1st and 3rd in the 200m race at the 1968 Mexico City Olympics.
  • the home shopping network was selling 500 and 1000 dollar bills on tv the other day. i think the 500 was going for 1000 bucks and the 1000 was going for 2500. that's pretty sad.
  • i have about 100 bookmarks and i use about 5 of them on a regular basis.
  • so lieberman is going to run with gore. i guess that's good in that gore is more likely to win now. anything to ensure that gwb doesn't get elected is okay by me.
  • "But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security..."
  • "They too have been deaf to the voice of justice and of consanguinity. We must, therefore, acquiesce in the necessity, which denounces our Separation, and hold them, as we hold the rest of mankind, Enemies in War, in Peace Friends..."
  • Declaration of Independence
  • i learned a lot of stuff today. i also fixed my toilet bowl, finally.


    • 8-6-00

  • "i'm an average nobody, i get to live the rest of my life like a schnook." - goodfellas
  • updated movies list. 154.
  • in vanishing point the DJ talks about the "last american hero...the super driver of the golden west..." it's a great little speech. guns and roses used it in "breakdown" (one of their best songs) and when i think about it i know i have heard it in another song somewhere else. jon thinks it was in a techno song, i'm not sure, but either way it's a good sample.
  • checked out my counter information to see who has been visiting my site. it was the first time i had done so in a while. i found six hits from ethiopia so i'll assume those were monique. pretty cool to have a hit from ethiopia on my site.
  • fed the fish next door. that was the highlight of my day.
  • obi wan died today, phil will be crushed when he hears.
  • "set the controls for the heart of the sun" - great track on ummagumma, the live album.
  • i like having a lot of hard drive space. 13.4 gigs free is a good amount. oh and then there's the 2+ gigs free on the other hard drive. i sent phi his hard drive last week, that was useful while i borrowed it.
  • not sure why, but i updated my everything list. it has all my mp3s in one fat list. really it's useless except for being able to see how many mp3s i have including the beastie boys stuff. 841 with 56hrs 44mins worth of stuff.
  • i think that moving will be a good opportunity to slim down, like johnny. i have a lot of stuff that i probably don't need. i might get rid of some useless furniture and build something that is more suitable, not sure yet. i need a place to put my movies. my bookshelf has only two shelves, it's kind of dumb. i need to think vertically.
  • luke and ryan's page is hardly ever updated. i wonder if they'll update it while in college. i wonder if luke will still be going out with jenny. i don't have much faith in any relationships at this point.
  • johnny updates his webpage more than expected, that's good.
  • "it's okay to eat fish because they don't have any feelings" - nirvana
  • i'm moving in less than a month.
  • i'm too critical of peoples' music tastes. i hope i'm not an old man who claims that the only good music is led zeppelin and pink floyd. that would be elitist and close-minded, that would be bad. i don't know anyone who has enough knowledge of music to seriously criticize music based purely on artist merit. i don't know what makes good music good or bad music bad. and i wouldn't have it any other way. the last thing i want to do is tell someone that their favorite band uses syncopation awkwardly, has no sense of chordal progression, and lacks any semblance of cohesion.
  • kdvs has a good group of people, unless you get them started on music in which case they will often times be very judgemental and elitist.
  • mike d watched strangers on a train recently while recovering from surgery. the tour will happen in a few months, i'll be there.
  • bs 2000 pt. 2 is coming out later in the year. hell yes. rage against the machine is coming out with a covers type album sometime, but i try not to find out exactly when because these things seem to always get pushed back. zach de la rocha is supposed to be working on something too. then there is the oct. 12th beastie boys dvd. so i guess i'll need a dvd player by oct. 12th.
  • not only is mike d watching strangers on a train, but he is also listeing to Jagjit Singh. so i went to amazon.com (per the link on the beastie boys site) and read the reviews...one review is from "A music fan from New York, USA"...I'd be willing to bet 50 bucks and my left nut that this "music fan" is mike d.
  • that 50 bucks and my left nut quote is from planes, trains, and automobiles...del griffith (john candy) says it when betting that the plane is landing in chicago...sure enough it ends up in Omaha...from there neil page and del griffith attempt to get to chicago via planes, trains, and automobiles in time for thanksgiving.
  • so here's the theory...people usually care about your criminal record up to a few years ago...when you apply for a job they often only ask if you have been convicted of a felony up to 5 years ago. i think the same should apply for your sex life. so in my case i've pretty much never done anything with a girl because all wrong doing has been cleared off my record. sure there were two relapses, but i'm no longer a felon.
  • i don't like paying for anything i can do myself. i don't think i'll ever hire a maid, i don't want to pay for car washes, i won't pay anyone to paint my house, now that i know how to do it myself. maybe one of these days my time will be so precious that i'll have to pay someone to do these things, but i'm hoping not. i think it is fair to measure how enslaved one is by how much their time is worth. enslaved to what is the only difference. one can be enslaved to the family in which case it's not so bad, it's actually expected. if i say i don't want to have kids i'm automatically weird. this is for obvious reasons. where we let go of our natural desires and where we hang on to them is interesting. it's good to have kids, it's bad to want more than one sexual partner.
  • paths of glory had some really kick ass dialogue, esp. in parts. jim thompson worked on the screenplay. my dad has a shit load (more than a butt load, less than a fuck load) of his books.
  • winamp has a fuck load of skins. johnny made one of them.
  • no work tomorrow, in fact i don't really know when we're going to have work again.
  • i can't foresee myself pursuing a woman any time soon. i really haven't seen anybody worth pursuing in a long time.
  • i watched more tv than i wish to admit today...luckily about 4 hours of it was worthwhile because of the two movies i saw. i still felt very bored by today.
  • hopefully tomorrow it's cool enough to sleep in past 12.


    • 8-6-00 (01:12)

  • updated movies list. i now own 5 kubrick films. paths of glory was great. saw it about 10 years ago, but obviously i didn't remember much of it. when i give my critiques i should start getting really arty. paths of glory was a tour de force of film making. it reminded me of a winter's walk along the snowy plains of siberia. i especially enjoyed kubrick fervent adhesion to themes of...what a crock.
  • jon invited mary over. we played basketball. then they went to watch a movie. i built a house out of q-tips with kim (jon's sister).
  • i made a cobbler today. it is decent, not as fluffy as could be. too much butter and cream used in the dough and i used baking soda instead of baking powder. all things considered it actually came out pretty well. serve warm with a dabble of vanilla.
  • i'm going to return my video card. i installed it and cute ftp would crash when i opened it. this is unacceptable so fuck that. i will not have contamination of my precious bodily fluids. ha ha ha kubrick.
  • the great thing about the simpsons is that the more you know, the more you'll laugh. it always has references to movies, tv shows, pop culture, etc. i like that.


    • 8-5-00 (00:25)

  • woke up and went to work by 1pm because we didn't have much work to do. ended up leaving the job site at 9:30pm because we had much work to do. packing was a bitch. vern wasn't there because he's in santa cruz again so the going was slower.
  • saw about 50 hot chicks in the pizza parlor today and i realized that i'll never get a girlfriend and will forever be single. a jefferson airplane tune rings in my head...
  • moby's "play" is really great, but you knew that.
  • my mom is cool, so is my grandmother.
  • my feet are really tired. my injuries never get better because i'm on my feet all day and walking on uneven surfaces. going up ladders and coming down on hoses isn't helpful either.
  • bought a ankle brace.
  • scott bought a motorcycle. 650cc, 601ccs bigger than jesus.
  • i'm going to hopefully make some apricot/blueberry cobbler tomorrow.
  • our kitchen is worse than i had ever thought possible.
  • phil might come up in not too long for another visit.
  • no movie today, bad news. paid yesterday, good news.
  • got a video card today. or should i say, it came today. install tomorrow?
  • i want to play basketball, but i probably shouldn't for a while so that my ankle can fully recover.
  • that's about all there is to say.


    • 8-3-00 (23:43)

  • no matter how much you hope to or think you do control your life, you really don't.
  • updated movies list.
  • talked to johnny today, that was cool.
  • i'm glad i have a new basketball now.


    • 8-3-00 (17:53)

  • if you think about something then you generally care about it. if you don't think about it then it might be safe to say that you don't care about it. the time spent caring about something might indicate how much you care about it. most people who care about their family and friends think about them and what they have to say. if someone tells me that i do something that really bothers them or hurts them then i do the following: determine how much i care about this person. determine how much i care about the think that bothers them so. if the thing that bothers them is an integral part of my personality then i will most likely not change. i weigh how much i care about the person, how much i care about the issue they've addressed and then decide whether to elminate that behavior from my interaction with them or not.
  • i had a friend who did not like it when i said a certain word around him. i determined that the word was not of enough importance in relation to his friendship so i dropped it from my vocabulary when around him. when i do slip up i say sorry for it. because he told me about being bothered and because i responded in a rational fashion i was able to keep his friendship and make my interactions with him all the more smooth and fun.
  • "love, love, is a verb. love is a do word." if this is true then really love is just an extension or way of demostrating your care for a person.
  • it makes me think that caring has a lot to do with life. how much one cares about a situation determines how they deal with it. the other part of that would be their perception of the issue's importance. republicans perceive gun safety as less of a problem than democrats. based upon that and how much they care about gun safety in relation to other issues, or the amount of money they get, they decide what to do about gun safety.
  • some people decide not to care about things. they are apathetic. apathy is a disease in a country where people die, starve, and suffer every day without people caring. because people don't care they often don't vote. they also don't perceive participation manifested in voting as a worthy activity. this is a factor in people not caring about voting.
  • malcolm x cared almost too much. lincoln cared so much that it showed on his face. stress is caused by caring. i don't care too much about my grades so i don't stress about it. one must choose what they care about and to what degree. i care about friends and family because, after all, what is a friend who doesn't care?
  • hopefully you care too.
  • what's cool about people like johnny is that if they care about something they'll tell you. there's not much mystery, not much guessing. it makes things a lot easier. i try to be like that by telling people how i feel more often than i used to.


    • 8-3-00 (00:34)

  • today was a short and very very hot work day. tomorrow we hope to finish this job and rest on friday.
  • i should sleep.
  • went to the spa tonight which was relaxing.
  • there has been some talk of doing a few under the table jobs and with the money going to ibiza for a couple weeks. it would be a good experience, but it would cost a grip of dough and there are many obstacles. we shall see.
  • got three movies in the mail today. killing, paths of glory, and one flew over the cuckoo's nest. three greats.
  • bought a basketball, small binoculars, and an ankle brace today.


    • 8-2-00 (01:11)

  • jon invited mary over tonight to watch a movie. she came and we did a really crappy job of being entertaining. it's no wonder i don't get any chicks. sad.
  • work is a little later than usual tomorrow. good.
  • tired.
  • sloop john b. is probably my favorite beach boys tune.
  • updated movies list.


    • 8-1-00 (18:03)

  • finished up the same job we finished up this time last week. that was fun. last week the problem was that we needed 4 gallons of paint and only had 3. this week we bought 4 and used 3, go figure.
  • people say ummagumma (by pink floyd) isn't very good, but i think they smoke crack.
  • eating out today, i waste a lot of money on eating out people. i waste a lot of money on eating people out. i waste a lot of money on eating out, people. people, i waste a lot of money on eating out.
  • this is a waste of time.

    • archives are where they always are.

    7-31-00 (22:58)

  • july has been a long month. filled with birthdays, broken cars, lack of money, then surpluses of money, then again a lack of money, painting, and re-painting.
  • it's really hot here which sucks fairly large sized balls. in fact it's almost 11pm and still 86 inside the house.
  • i want ever other day to be a day off. we got a good amount of work done today which is nice. tomorrow we re-paint the interior of the same house we did last week. it's always fun to redo work you've already done.
  • no movie today which isn't good news.
  • tomorrow is food at the mexican restaurant where we will seen mary and onita. should be great fun.
  • tired.


    • 7-30-00 (22:44)

  • updated movies list.
  • there's a program called gnutella which i finally got around to getting. it's like napster only it allows you to search for more than just mp3s. it has a feature where you can see what people are searching for...a new search comes up litterally several times a second because there are so many people online. it ranges from music to operating systems or games. one problem with it is that it kills your bandwidth very quickly.
  • one of the cds i bought yesterday was a hip-hop crew which i met in kdvs one time...the cd is actually pretty good, it was only 2 bucks at rasputin.
  • woke up at 2pm today, didn't do much today. i did look at the sending unit on my car, it seems to work, it might be that the cable is sticky. i know how to change brake and shifting cables on bikes, maybe it's the same routine with the gas tank on my car.
  • cleaned my room yesterday, but it's messy again. i just have too much stuff. i think i might start trying to simplify like johnny.
  • my new phone battery is working well. i also have three backup phones in case this new battery decides to suck it up.


    • 7-30-00 (02:40)

  • parties are definitely not for me. the party we were supposed to go to was canceled so we went to some stupid one in davis which featured a keg, lots of stupid guys, and few decent girls. vern walked home. i drove kim (jon's sister) and jon to jack in the crack. while we were there we saw two girls who couldn't get inside because only the drive thru is open after 1am. i told them they could get in the car and order something with us. then we drove them home. meanwhile we all talked about the weather or something.
  • after we dropped them off jon and i decided that we should turn around and knock on their door in order to acquire their phone numbers. we are dorks. so we went back to the apartment where we dropped them off and rang the doorbell three times. no answer. then we went to another apartment they said they were going to rent starting in september. jon rang the doorbell, again no answer. we saw a jack in the box bag in front of the door so we knew we were close. then kim saw them walking up ahead. we drove up to them and asked for their numbers. they didn't really seem too taken aback by it even though we had dropped them off 5 minutes ago and were now almost aimlessly wandering through arlington apartments trying to find them. it was borderline stalking, but it worked. they don't have phones yet since they're just moving into these apartments so they gave us the apartment numbers were they would be staying and asked for our numbers.
  • all in all it was an interesting ride, but i highly doubt anything will come of it. this is what i call the game. the game is retarded. i don't think i'll ever meet a person like me at a party. being different is sometimes a liability. such is life.
  • i wonder how much of that story made sense. i'm so drunk right now i can barely write coherently.
  • if you believe that i'm drunk then you don't know me.
  • johnny gave me the quick cam, a mini-telescope, a flannel, a couple tools, and more. i'm going to go to santa cruz more often.
  • we went to the flea market again and i got a great deal on some metric wrenches (not socket)...craftsman too. i also got a couple bungee cords. it was a smaller showing today than it was last sunday, but it was still decent. i wish they had flea markets in davis.
  • it only took 3 hrs 10 mins to get home...taking the long way and with some traffic.
  • i will have a respectable tool set in no time.
  • tired.


    • 7-29-00 (19:49)

  • santa cruz was good while it lasted.
  • got the car back fine, old volks home is a good shop...they installed a license plate holder for free too (after i asked for it).
  • updated the poll.
  • updated movies list.
  • updated cd list.
  • i guess i'm going to that party tonight. if i don't like parties there must be something wrong with me.


    • 7-28-00 (00:00)

  • job went well today. going to santa cruz to pick up malcolm tomorrow.
  • prodigy is supposed to come out with something in august, but i doubt it will happen...run dmc was supposed to come out with something last november. such is the music industry.
  • napster is gone. i'll just wait for the next one.
  • really tired. tomorrow will be long.
  • updated movies list.


    • 7-26-00 (21:26)

  • scott is never home.
  • everytime i listen to the crystal method i like them more. today we listened to it while working. having a boombox at work is really nice, i'm glad i bought it.
  • called the bug place and the car is fixed...valves were tight and some screw in the carb was blown out. i told them to work on the gas gauge while it was there. i like them more than the sacramento bug place. jon has offered to take me to santa cruz on friday since he's going half way anyway so i can pick it up and not have to ask johnny to take care of it for me. that's cool.
  • johnny will always tell you what he's thinking, this is a good quality.
  • updated movies list. 145 movies watched (155 to go) and 158 days left.
  • "Beastie Boy Mike D has unfortunately made good a little early on his promise in the new Rolling Stone that his band would be "severing (their) body parts and putting them back together" for the Rhyme & Reason 2000 tour. Complete details are still forthcoming, but Mike D was injured this Saturday in New York while riding his bicycle home from rehearsal, damaging his clavicle as well as several muscles, tendons and ligaments. The full extent of his injuries has not yet been determined. However, a specialist has recommended that he refrain from all physical activity for the duration of a two to three-month rehabilitation regimen—or risk permanently losing the use of the injured shoulder. More information on Mike D’s condition will be available following further surgery and treatment later this week. Announcement of re-scheduled dates, refund and exchange information, etc. will follow soon thereafter."
  • that sucks in a big big way.
  • got a letter from my sister today (she's at camp). that was cool. it seems as though people have been asking about me at camp...i've got to go next year.
  • i'm renewing the quest to have a duplicate to every cd i own...i'm behind by quite a bit, but i've gotten a good start, and now i have 80 minute cds to work with. i have about 85 cds to copy. joy.
  • sleep now.


    • 7-25-00 (21:22)

  • pretty damned long day.
  • reminder from yesterday: updated movieslist.
  • today we had a one day interior which was interesting....went pretty well for the most part, but jon thought we would be able to do the job with 3 gallons instead of 4 (his original estimate). so we had the 3 gallons custom mixed and went to work. he was gone most of the day and when he came back we informed him that we'd need more paint so he made the trip and got more, same formula and all. after going through about half a gallon we noticed that the new paint seemed a little bit lighter...we tried our best to make it look less obvious, and really did a decent job considering the situation. interior isn't as warm, but has more shit to watch out for that you can't fix...like the stairway carpet which gets paint on the side of it. hopefully we won't have to do that crap anymore.
  • we hope to find a few under the table jobs that we can do. because 50% or so of everything we book goes to student works we usually end up coming overbudget. if we charged less, but didn't kick back any to student works then we could make money and give the customers a better deal. if we do it that way we won't have worker's comp and they won't have the 3 year guarantee. it's a trade off, but the quality will be the same. we shall see.
  • after work we did a test patch for the most annoying woman ever. finally we got away from her and went to the mexican food restaurant. mary and susie part II were there and just about to close, but they let us in. we were the only customers in there for a while which was cool. they gave us guacamole without us asking and gave jon his milk just like he likes it without him asking as well. after three visits it seems we are regulars already. mary invited us to the party again (this weekend) and gave us directions, so that's pretty sweet. they were cleaning up most of the time, but mary sat down with us and talked a bit. i told her i wanted her to have my children and she slapped me. just kidding, just kidding. mary says "just kidding" a lot. finally we were all done with our food and the check came...last week we ordered the exact same thing and it came to 20 bucks (which is actually about 10 bucks less than it should have been for what we ordered), this week the total bill was only 15 bucks. so we gave her a 10 buck tip. they're pretty damn cool to say the least.
  • santa cruz: i was cruising along with about an hour left in the trip when i feel a lack of power and then look down and see the engine is dead. i pull off to the side and look at the engine, nothing out of the ordinary. i look at the oil and it looks like it's completely gone (it's dark so i can't really tell, even with the flashlight). i add more oil and discover it still looks empty, this is because the oil is so new it's not black yet and i just added more oil than i will need for a long time. i start the car and get back on the freeway, but there is a big time lack of power. i get off on the next exit and pull into a gas station, look at my vw book for some advice. it seems like a problem with the generator because the red light is coming on, but that doesn't make sense. for a while i try and fiddle with that. i buy a cresent wrench in the hope that i can fix the problem. really i wasn't doing much of anything because i don't have an extra fan belt or any shims to make the belt tighter. in fact the lights aren't dim so it's probably not an electrical problem. AAA can tow me 5 miles which is really useful in the middle of nowhere at 11pm.
  • vern and i make another run for it. we encounter traffic...now the car is running, but it's not liking the fact that it is. it's lacking lots of power and if i take my foot off the pedal it tries to die so i have to keep going fairly fast. there is no way i'm getting over highway 17 into santa cruz because it's a fucking cliff that can't be climbed in this condition. we stop in los gatos and call johnny for a ride the rest of the way.
  • while we are waiting for johnny this drunk old lady talks to us about god, being true to yourself and other such pearls of wisdom. the thing that stuck out was that she said "always be true to yourself"...or as mike d says it: "be true to yourself and you will never fall"
  • the next day we go on a bitchin' 15 mile mountain biking ride on some really good trails, plenty of good downhills, which meant the intial 3 miles sucked because they were straight uphill the whole time. it was worth it. i want a mountian bike again. vern bit it big time and i got close a couple times.
  • i can't remember what else we did that first day, but i know we did a lot. i hung out with marc for a little while, he's pretty damned cool.
  • the next day we got the bug towed to santa cruz...luckily johnny's girlfriend (christy) had a AAA plus card which allows you to tow up to 100 miles without charge. thanks. we also went to fry's. we played some football and we won.
  • that night that we played football vern wasn't around. i met a bunch of luke's friends which was cool because now i actually know who ryan, dorfman, and gabe are. we ate pizza and then played trivial pursuit. once again the team of chris, johnny, christy and anyone else won.
  • luke's friends are cool. marc is an amazing specimen, but very cool.
  • johnny gave me about a million items including my first craftsman tool ever...a single 5/8 wrench. very cool.
  • i went to the flea market which was extremely cool. i got burned. it was cool to see how much shit i could have picked up for so damn cheap. i must go there again some time.
  • we went to a drive-in theater and watched two movies, this time with vern.
  • monday i went to the bug place and showed them where my car was parked. at the flea market i bought one item - a vw manual by haynes. i looked around in it and concluded that the problem was probably having to do with the valves, the bug mechanic - who was pretty cool - concluded the same thing and quoted me at 60 bucks. it might be more because they might need replacing, who knows. it's only money so i don't care too much.
  • santa cruz weather is lame, but they have shitload of bugs (probably because they are trapped in the valley) and thus many bug shops.
  • christy is pretty damned dope as well.
  • we went to a bike store because johnny is thinking about getting a new mountain bike. it looked like the big sur (gary fisher) was really nice and within his price range...so was the rockhopper fs-a1 comp. something like that. i rode steve's which is basically the same bike and it was really good.
  • i've been updating for 35 minutes.
  • beastie boys and rage tickets are on sale on thursday at 10am for the SF show...hell yes. don't know the opening acts yet, but i don't care too much. i think they will come to sacramento as well. i'll be there and here.
  • doors rock your left nutsack. so does johnny.
  • johnny drove us to the train station in san jose...it took us about 4 hours to get from there to the house...the train stopped and changed cabooses and overall went too slow.
  • having a 20 gig hard drive is pretty damned plush.
  • wake up do it again tomorrow.


    • 7-25-00 (01:42)

  • much to say, much sleep to be had, will update more tomorrow.
  • updated movies list.
  • i think just about everything in life is common sense.
  • i think common sense is learned and not all that common.


    • 7-19-00 (23:03)

  • didn't go to work today because of the unhappy customer.
  • there is more swelling on my ankle than i had thought, but it was okay enough to play on yesterday.
  • updated movies list.
  • while we were in the movie theater parking lot three guys in a lexus gave us a stare down, so i looked back. they backed up and followed us. the guy in the passenger seat started mouthing off about this and that. i kept looking at him. finally they gave up, called me gay, called jon's sister an ugly bitch and then drove off. it would have been fun to finally get into a fight. oh well.
  • have to give jon and sister a ride to airport early tomorrow morning, i've known about this for about 15 minutes.
  • malcolm started up on the first crank today. oh, i hereby dub the bug malcolm.
  • i should sleep now.


    • 7-19-00 (00:14)

  • dennis miller is going to be announcing monday night football games next season, that should be cool.
  • went to play some basketball with the kdvs types, that was fun.
  • when i got back jon informed me that the idiot customer called us up and cancelled our job because even after coming back we were not up to par. that guy needs to get the stick out of his ass.
  • going to santa cruz this weekend should be fun.
  • beastie boys tics are on sale through sept. 5th now...they'll be in texas by then. it looks like they're going to end somewhere in california. shit yea.
  • updated movies list.
  • e-mail works again.


    • 7-18-00 (20:19)

  • so everything that we did yesterday was deemed unacceptable by the customer. today we "fixed" it and he will tell us if it is acceptable or not...if you ever get your house painted don't complain to the painters about their prep work, it's just stupid.
  • after work we went out to eat at the same mexican place as last thursday and said hi to mary. she invited us to a party next weekend which is pretty nice so we'll be going to that i'm sure.
  • bought a boombox for the job site today.
  • updated cd list.
  • i can't get email for some reason.
  • there have been many problems this summer and i haven't melted down yet; odd.
  • the job we are at right now has two dogs and four horses, the dogs hate us, but the horses are cool. we've been taking breaks to hang out with them, that's decent.


    • 7-16-00 (22:38)

  • updated movies list.
  • i wonder if anyone reads my comments on the movies i see, or check to see which movies i see. it's really only for me anyway.
  • i think i will buy something for my computer.
  • johnny updates his page a lot more often than i had thought, that is cool.
  • phil formatted his computer for the 50th time in his life. that's actually probably and underestimation...underestimation sounds like the last few painting jobs we've done.
  • speaking of which...jon is leaving on thursday so i hope we finish this job by then. we get paid friday which will be nice and jon picked up two more jobs this weekend so we'll have work at least through july and part of august.
  • september will be hot.
  • i discovered that there are 168 days left in the year and i have 164 more movies to see...
  • perfect dark is a good N64 game, probably the best of its kind in fact.
  • i'm going to miss not having a N64 next year. vern and i are going to build a lot of furniture.
  • all of a sudden i have a lot of money, but that's how it is with me...either i'm broke or rich.
  • johnny and vern's friend (marc) was cool when i met him, i forgot to mention that earlier.
  • i have two phones and both are sucking in a major way these days.
  • i'm running out of hard drive space and my video card is slow. i'm going to get new ones of both, this way i can return the 4gb hard drive to phil and finally run quake or other such video intensive games more smoothly. i'm not much of a gamer, but it'll be nice. i've had the same computer for 4 years now...in that time i've added one free hard drive, given one away, gotten a new cd writer, a new tower (the old one was over 6 years old), and one new 24x cd-rom. all in all i've spent about 300 bucks on the thing in about 3 years. that's pretty good considering a) how much other people spend on theirs b) how much i use it.
  • intel has the 1.5 gigahertz cpu out now, that's stupid. mine is .2 gigahertz. i'll stop being such a dork.
  • dj shadow is pretty damned cool.
  • sometimes i look at my cd collection and can't find anything to listen to, lately i haven't had time to listen to all the things i want to...i want to listen to about 10 cds at once right now.
  • vern has me wanting to build things now.
  • i opened the frig today and a bottle fell and broke, then i was filling the washer because no one else does and a glass broke, then i was making some chicken and it fell on the ground, then i was getting some ice cream and it fell on the ground. i ate both, naturally, but it was a drag. my blood sugar level is low.
  • there are a bunch of shoutcast servers i want to listen to right now, but dj shadow is better, sqaub teen calls, so does pearl jam, tool, fugees, source material comp., apollo four-forty, and more....
  • funny how the old nintendo owns all other game systems, same with super nintendo and gameboy, but n64 gets smashed by its competition. however, when n64 does it right, they do it really right.
  • well it appears as though i will have to own a dvd player soon - the beastie boys will be coming out with a massive collection of video and audio in october on dvd, it must be done.
  • not much more to say, i think i should sleep anyway.


    • 7-16-00 (01:39)

  • updated movies list.
  • didn't do much today.
  • jesus took a long time to start up today, but finally did.
  • shot around on the basketball court today, it sucked. my ankle isn't recovered yet.
  • i think dogs are better humans than humans are.


    • 7-15-00 (00:26)

  • updated movies list.
  • day started off at around 8am. got to the site where jon's car had broken down. the gas station was literally ready to tow it, but we showed up barely on time...the owner said she might bill him because the tow truck had been deployed...so we get AAA out there and a really nice tow truck driver takes us to two different places until we drop the jeep off at a place which will look at it and be able to fix it no matter how complex the problem is (something a jiffy lube type place wouldn't be able to do).
  • finally we got back on the road towards work. we picked up some trash from an old job site and dumped that in a dumpster. then made our way to our last job site and took a ladder from there to our very first job. mind you, we did all of this in a honda civic hatchback. we did some touch ups there and left by 2:15. from there we just went to walnut creek (an hour drive) to drop off our checks so that we can make payroll for next friday. we went home after that. in total there was about 3 hours of work and a shit load of driving done.
  • we still need to do the semi-gloss trim on our last job, other than that we have one huge job booked for next week. hopefully we make some bank from this next job.
  • after work i went to work on the bug...took out the choke and made sure that was installed and setup correctly. reassembled the choke, started it up and it ran relatively well. from there i adjusted the mixture screw a little, then the idle. did all this when the weather was warm. after all the adjustments it seemed to run rather well and, more importantly, actually started without much trouble. i just tried it again, in much cooler climate, to ensure that it was running well...it started on the first crank. i'm not sure why the people who work at bugformance didn't do the same thing i did...bastards.
  • in more news...while we were in dixon (small town outside of davis...also where we met mary while waiting for the car to cool down) we ran into about 4 people and 3 of them were extremely nice. eugene, who worked at the auto shop where the car is now, wished us a good weekend, said he'd call us when the car was done, etc. i think dixon should be renamed to "the home of courteous people"
  • here is a mockumentary by chris miller which is currently in the works...skinny white jesus (your savior) standing in front of the camera outside, squinting in the sunlight, the cameraman asks "what does carpentry mean to you?" jesus, in all sincerity, replies "carpentry is an art, a skill, it's a way of life..." he goes on to describe how difficult carpentry is and all the tricks of the trade he has picked up...he's not bragging, but there is a definite air of pride in his work. as he continues to talk about his pride the voice is laid over images of him working in the shop pounding nails into boards while constructing barns or what not...all of the action within this montage, though, is of jesus completely screwing up...jesus hammers his thumb and jumps up and down in pain...jesus tries to saw a board and the saw won't budge, etc. it would be really funny i think.
  • i'm going to hell.
  • i want to tape our painting experiences...there would be some classic footage.
  • sleep.


    • 7-14-00 (01:53)

  • must leave in about 6 hours.
  • today was epic. it took 6 hours to get home from 20 miles away...the car (jon's) overheated about 80 times, i changed the oil for him, we replaced coolant, flushed the cooling system, nothing worked. then it wouldn't even turn over...the battery seemed dead. it was a joke. stopped off at a mexican place and had chips for dinner. met mary. finally scott gave us a ride home.
  • my car hasn't been worked on yet, maybe i'll have time on saturday.
  • we have 5 more jobs booked, after that there won't be anymore painting, unless we start marketing. yay.
  • we are overbudget on every job we do which is sucky. jon picked up the wrong paint (flat instead of semi-gloss) so we have to redo much of the job we did today, tomorrow.
  • this whole venture is a nightmare for everyone. vern and i are getting paid less than 8 bucks an hour because we are overbudget. jon isn't making any money because we are overbudget. one reason we are so overbudget is because his estimates were a little too wishful. some of it is because of stupid mistakes. some of it is because of amateur technique. i think that our next big job will be under budget because we've made just about every possible mistake.
  • it was in the low 90s today. vern turned black. he'll have skin cancer very soon.
  • associates credit card wants me to pay them 285 bucks...they smoke too much crack...i owe them nothing. when i have a spare moment i will tell them just that.
  • updated movies list. from a couple days ago
  • need to sleep.


    • 7-11-00 (22:22)

  • ran errands, shot around on the basketball court, and nothing more.


    • 7-11-00 (00:01)

  • we finally finished the job from hell today. what a fucking day. out of the house for almost 15 hours
  • hopefully i get a lot of shit done tomorrow
  • there isn't much to talk about because i've been too busy to think. the man has a very smart plan - keep the worker to busy and tired to think or rebel...throw in two weeks worth of vacation to prevent uprisings.
  • i might be too tired to do anything tomorrow. days off are good. we have two interior jobs this week, that sucks, but they should be high yield, assuming we do them right.
  • the doors are dope.
  • wether by choice or not i've somehow kept myself as clean as a christian (in actions) through 21 years of life. that's pretty sad.
  • if the world was created in a matter of days and science has proved that those "days" really mean billions of years then sinning for just a second would probably be as bad as sinning for years. i wonder what the rules are on that. god? hook me up with the 411.
  • i could buy some beer if i wanted, that's an additional freedom i never had, but it really doesn't mean shit to me. funny how to some it means a lot.
  • no movie watched today. maybe tomorrow. if i woke up tomorrow i could get a shitload done...i probably won't though.


    • 7-10-00 (00:23)

  • updated movies list.
  • time to sleep.
  • might get tuesday off, that would be nice.


    • 7-9-00 (21:00)

  • going to be watching high sierra tonight, that should be good. rented 5 movies for under 5 bucks which is a good deal.
  • i'm happy with my cd purchases because i got a good balance of stuff. 5 hip-hop albums, 2 by groups i already own albums by. two jazz cds which i know will be good. two black sabbath albums which finishes up my black sabbath collection. one doors album which rounds my collection of their stuff a bit more. same with velvet underground, beach boys, and bob dylan. then there's the one dick dale cd which was a sure gamble.
  • i'm really out of the loop when it comes to anything having to do with music or computers because i haven't tooled around on the internet finding out about either.
  • the doors are pretty damned cool.
  • i tried to figure something out regarding math today and it took me forever. point: my math skills are non-existent.
  • jesus has a 49 cc engine i discovered.


    • 7-9-00 (16:36)

  • updated the trip page because vern got me those scanned pics of his and i finally got around to having some spare time. all the pictures are in black and white, some are grainy and some have little developing errors on them. there is one action photo of me taking pictures of the overturned cars which looks pretty cool. it's nice because vern seemed to take pictures when i was not so the trip is more filled in now...includes pictures near susanville, in dunsmuir, and in mt. shasta
  • woke up at 10am today then, after eating, i went to sleep for another 5 hours because i was bored.
  • nothing much to say. haven't spent much time in front of the tv or computer today so that's good.


    • 7-9-00 (00:06)

  • updated movies list.
  • tired, it feels like it's 3am.
  • up to 130 movies.
  • the guy at our job site offered us beer after we were done working. then he thought we might be too young. do i look young?
  • got to delete 7 more mp3s.
  • sleep time


    • 7-8-00 (19:53)

  • got 15 cds today in the mail for 35 bucks. oh yea. updated cd list.
  • work today wasn't too bad, we have one side to go and will do that on monday.
  • ankle is even better.
  • i really need to take my car in because there is something definitely wrong with it. morons. it could be the thermostat, the volume control, or the choke...other than that i have no idea, but i'm banking on it being one of those (all attached to the carb). if it's either of the last two then they should fix it for free. bastard morons.
  • i shaved this morning.
  • arla, safeway checker, remembered my name and birthday. too bad she's like 30 and married.
  • need to go to dentist, car shop, dmv, car paint place, damn i'm a busy guy these days.


    • 7-7-00 (23:19)

  • i'm officially a working man. it's 11 and i'm ready to sleep.
  • updated movies list.
  • we probably won't finish our job tomorrow unless we make it a long day.
  • my ankle is actually better today than i thought, but twisting makes it suck big time. walking, though, isn't bad.
  • love is knowing tupac.
  • rode jesus over to marina's with vern on the back. we watched blues brothers and smoked pot. it was crazy fun. i wonder if anyone actually thinks i smoke pot.
  • i haven't shaved or showered for a few days, such is life.
  • i think i could stand having the right girlfriend, the wrong girlfriend will most definitely turn me asexual.
  • bill withers was born on july fourth
  • in blues brothers there is a little boy who tries to steal a guitar but is thwarted by ray charles...the actor just happens to be (drumroll) De'voreaux White aka Argyle in Die Hard...i KNEW i recognized him, had i seen his face for a few more seconds i think i could have figured it out.


    • 7-7-00 (18:12)

  • so i hear that the beastie boys and rage are coming to SF on sept. 15th. yay. stp, no doubt, common, and some other bands are among the few who are opening for them in other cities. i'm still hoping for dj shadow to open for them in SF.
  • today we got one side done, we'll probably have to come back on saturday and part of sunday to get this shit done, what a house.


    • 7-6-00 (23:00)

  • updated movies list.
  • filled up jesus today (.63 gallons) for $1.23. we'll see how many miles i can get with him. rode jesus with vern on back to drop off blockbuster videos, what an easy job it was.
  • one of these days i'll get the tags for jesus. one of these days i'll renew my driver's license. one of these days i'll start up the bug and see what i can do about all that.
  • getting 7 or more hours of sleep is actually possible tonight.


    • 7-6-00 (20:22)

  • 21 emails today, jesus.
  • speaking of which...my scooter now has a name - jesus. yea.
  • finished one job, on to the next. this is the job from hell. the guy (john johnson) hates us. there are 200 pound rocks placed with 6 inches of the wall. there are high eaves and walls to contend with. a redwood deck which will need to be completely masked. fuck this job. oh and there are also two lolitas who tempt me every moment.
  • i'm glad it isn't too hot. we'll be working on saturday for sure.
  • last night i got in bed and bumped my head against the dresser, my head hurt. what a crappy day that was. today was no bonus either.
  • we were 10 minutes away from making the last job perfect, but i guess we got lazy.
  • my ankle sucks. suck this last two days.
  • so you thought you might like to go to the show...
  • i have no time to do anything lately.


    • 7-5-00 (23:30)

  • updated movies list.
  • played basketball and injured my left ankle...not as bad as the right foot injury a while back....as i said - i knew when i woke up that this day was going to suck.


    • 7-5-00 (20:07)

  • knew today was going to suck. turned out that we need to do 2-3 coats on the trim for it to look decent so obviously that takes a lot longer to wait for a coat to dry and then go over it again, and again.
  • phil isn't afraid of speaking his mind. scott also says anything he is thinking.
  • a bunch of people called me for my birthday which was cool, thanks.
  • for some reason i have 18 messages waiting.
  • the guy across the street from where we are working has about 5 girls who are on his jock, it's amazing. one in the door with tight shorts...they go outside and kiss and hug and such. then 15 minutes later he drives up with another girl. 30 minutes later another girl shows up in her car. i want to be him.
  • so i can buy alcohol and go to clubs now. don't care really.
  • hopefully i'll be visiting santa cruz this weekend or next. more likely next, that way vern can come and maybe hook up some gas funds. we shall see.
  • i'm not on the computer very much these days. i'm very happy to not have any school work.
  • phil said something positive today, it was a landmark in the history of our long relationship.


    • 7-4-00 (23:32)

  • another day another dollar spent
  • updated movies list.


    • 7-4-00 (01:45)

  • i found out yesterday that i don't have to work today which rocks.
  • jon got me a scooter, it's a toy scooter really, but it gets up to 25mph and it's in decent enough shape to ride around. it's big time boss. i've gotten plenty of looks already, even one from a cop. yay.
  • my license expires today, shit.
  • updated movies list.
  • i'm going to sleep a lot tomorrow.


    • 7-2-00 (00:02)

  • arla, the safeway checker, is the bomb. she actually knows my name and she likes my hair.
  • went to oakland this weekend and was spoiled silly.
  • work tomorrow a little later than usual.
  • hit 90 mph on the bug while phil was sleeping, it rocked. the bug has trouble starting in the cold weather which is really stupid because i just took it in. think it's something to do with the choke or air/gas mixture. such is life.
  • tupac is a big time homie. rap is great.
  • updated movies list.
  • tired.


    • 7-1-00 (00:42)

  • june was the anti-march in a lot of ways. june was very long and fairly white. old shit be here
  • i honestly don't see any kind of relationship happening with a woman for at least another 3 years.
  • i don't think i'm going to oakland now. my sister won't be there and phil is here so it makes things kind of dumb like that.
  • tonight was filled with stupidity.
  • updated movies list. this is the first time i can ever remember having seen a movie three times within a week.
  • vern still hasn't gotten his share of the pictures from the trip to me so that's not going up any time soon.
  • i can't think of any other rap artist who created songs as epic as 2pac.
  • tired. tired of lots of things.


    • 6-30-00 (00:51)

  • phil is coming tomorrow, that's a surprise. i guess i'll take him to oakland and to paint with us or something.
  • played basketball for the first time in a while today.
  • the tool album i got is really good.
  • i'm surprised 80 minute cds work on my writer. i read, granted it was three years ago when 80 minute cds first were made, that your writer had to be a certain kind to write to 80 minute cds. now they have it down so that they're cheap and work on all writers. dope. i can finally make a copy of jilted generation, load, et al.
  • tired.


    • 6-29-00 (17:51)

  • finished the job today around the time i had anticipated.
  • i'm tired.
  • we get tomorrow off so that's nice.
  • i'm going to oakland on saturday that'll be a trip.
  • don't know what to have for dinner tonight. probably just breakfast burritos.
  • get paid my last library paycheck next wednesday and get paid my first painting paycheck next friday.
  • this last house we painted had shit as the trim color so i have shit all over my hands. i think the shit was actually called loam, but it looks a lot like shit.
  • i'm tired.


    • 6-28-00 (22:57)

  • updated movie list. saw american movie again. what a great great great documentary. really brings out the whole range of human experience. from happiness, laughter, anger, sadness, etc. a must see.
  • bought a cd last night for 18 bucks then got 5 bucks from scott to make a copy. only problem was that i had to buy 80 minute blank cds because the cd is 77 minutes. money doesn't concern me.
  • i wish the world was a lot better than it is. i wish people like bill and marc borchardt got the respect they deserve. my dad's cousin, luke, is a funny guy. he basically lives like a bum. never has a shirt or shoes on. lives with his mom still. is usually dirty looking, with a full beard and head of hair, but he is really an inspirational guy. never have i seen such a full-spirited and fun guy.
  • it's tough not to discriminate, but it must be done (not discriminating, that is).
  • big news of yesterday was rage against the machine and beastie boys (my two favorite intact groups) will be touring this summer. there is no chance in hell that if they get anywhere on the west coast i will miss a show.
  • is there anything wrong with eating skin that is flaking off your own body? i say no.
  • when it comes to parenting i would be very laid back
  • i should hang out with johnny more often.
  • my ankle hurts for some reason. i think i already said that. dumbo.
  • don't know how many times i've said this before, but - truth is stranger than fiction. non-fiction is just plain better than fiction, movies and books. it's hard to go wrong with non-fiction. obviously i like both, but it's amazing that people don't really watch non-fiction movies or read non-fiction books. maybe entertainment is more important than information or something.
  • i think spike lee is boss.
  • sleep time.


    • 6-28-00 (19:57)

  • today we painted. yay. got paint in eye. gay.
  • bitch at blockbuster gave us a hard time.
  • i think most people overestimate how much they will miss someone.
  • my ankle hurts.
  • i want the 49ers to win the superbowl.
  • updated cdlist.
  • i think cds are the perfect size.


    • 6-28-00 (00:02)

  • only five hours today.
  • went out and had chinese food i couldn't afford.
  • got the bug back and it rocks, i spent a lot of money on it, but i don't care.
  • saw a movie. updated movielist. 120 so fart.
  • tomorrow we paint the house, oh joy.
  • marina asked me if vern and i would come over and see a movie with her and her friend, i said yes. i ended up forgetting all about it. i think this is a good sign.
  • scott went up to a random girl, sat next to her, and talked with her. he got her number. scott gets employee of the month honors.
  • i'm always tired.
  • vern shaved my head today shorter than i've ever had it. it's also really blond. i look funny.


    • 6-26-00 (23:30)

  • got less than 5 hours of sleep last night.
  • it's 84 degrees in the house now.
  • i got burned, i need more sunscreen.
  • today we got up and left by 7:15. got to the bug shop and finally got the car in. i decided to just get a tune-up, it's going to cost more than i wanted to spend, but there's not much i can do about it. i don't know how to check the timing, compression, service the air cleaner, and all the other shit that they are going to do so i just got it done with them.
  • so i dropped off the car and then jon (who had been tailing me the whole way) was going to drive us to the paint store, buy some paint, and then take us to the job site to get started. as it turns out his transmission would cut out after he got to 50 mph so we couldn't really drive on the freeway. so we took the car to several places and, having not had it checked out by anyone, ended up filling it with transmission fluid to see if that might help. at around 12pm we were finally back on the road and driving well over 50 mph
  • we got to the paint store and then to the old job site where vern and i finished up the last part of the house under budget. this is good because it means more money. the job was budgeted for 18 hours total and it ended up taking more like 13 (between the two of us).
  • while we worked, jon went back to davis where he picked up a friend with a triple-A card so he could get his other car (the land rover) towed. the land rover's gear shift had broken while in sacramento a few days ago and he never got it taken care of. today he finally got it towed home. the car we were driving today was a spare car his parents weren't using.
  • obviously this day was long and fun-filled.
  • finally we got home at 9:40 after having dropped of the equipment at the new job site which we will begin work at tomorrow.
  • we rented a movie, but it started kind of late and i'm really damn tired. miller's crossing is the movie, i done seen it before, but that was when it first came out like 80 years ago.
  • i have to leave tomorrow by 8am, i really hope we get home at a reasonable time. tomorrow we work on a wood house which should be extremely fun to prep.
  • i need more fluids and sleep.


    • 6-26-00 (01:04)

  • i have to leave to get my car in the shop in about 6 hours. i'm glad i'm getting it taken care of though.
  • updated movie list. we are using monique's tv so now i have a chance to catch up during the summer for my movie goal.
  • my hair is light orange because of the "sun-in" lemon juice shit, it's kinda cool.
  • waking up early actually isn't as bad as i thought.


    • 6-25-00 (21:40)

  • life's a journey not a destination. if this is true then i'm probably doing myself a disservice by not experiencing the party life and the drugs and alcohol that go along with it. why don't i do those things? after all it is perfectly normal - most people my age do it. maybe my answer when people ask why i don't do those things should be "because martin luther king didn't"...then i'm just a follower. hmmm.
  • one wants to be an individual, but one wants to have the feeling that what he does is normal. i think the easiest answer is that each person is going to live their life their own way, experiencing different things and having different sets of beliefs, but no one way is better than the other. that should probably have some kind of qualifier though. like no one way is better than the other as long as living your life your way doesn't infringe upon another's way of life. there's a lot more to it than that though.
  • if life were a destination then it would be a little more simple. i think the whole process is made easier by religion or by leaders. it's too hard to figure out how to live life by yourself.
  • be true to yourself and you will never fall. that makes things a lot easier.
  • if i start believing in god and religion and i live my life according to his standards then i will feel that what i'm doing is the right way. this would be a very contenting feeling. it's easy, then, to see why so many people choose religion as a guide for living their life. the bible has proven itself a guide for millions because it holds so many answers within.
  • i think most people don't like being surrounded by stupidity, it's just numbing and overall annoying. then it becomes an issue of what one deems stupidity. for me i often think of people being drunk as also being stupid, although this is not a rule - rather an observation. so why is drunkenness so stupid to me and should it be? because drinking and drugs was of great import in the destruction of my family i might be more inclined to reject it. however, not all drinking and use of drugs is towards this end. so i would be taking the easy route to denounce all use of alcohol and drugs. maybe i could make an argument that anything mind altering is unattractive to me. love is mind altering, so is caffeine (i've shunned coffee, but obviously not mountain dew)...thus i could be seen as a hypocrite, to shun alcohol and drugs, but not caffeine or love or other mind altering things (even music maybe?). when you break it down enough even our economic system is mind altering - capitalism makes people think in terms of efficiency. what separates caffeine, love, sports, music, drugs and alcohol? i might say varying degrees and the direction in which they point your thoughts. caffeine obviously doesn't have the same effect as heroine and love doesn't normally alter your mind in the same negative direction as pcp.
  • as everything in life there is not always a concrete rule, there's always an exception to the rule, and the rules are made arbitrarily.
  • taking the car in tomorrow, jon is giving me a ride from the shop to work.
  • i'm checking my grades right now. this could ruin my day or they might not be up yet.
  • had breakfast burritos with bacon, a smoothie, 4 small ego waffles, and some juice today. in case you care.
  • i think i forgot to write about a little final school day story. i take my last final and get the paper back. i look at the grade and it's not very good. i read the comments and it says "where are pages 7 and 8?" i look and sure enough two of my pages are missing. holy bat shit. so i run to the computer lab and download the paper from my webpage (good thing i put it online by then) print it out and slide the complete copy under my TA's office door hoping that she gets it and changes my grade. i just checked and i got a B in the class. i passed the two classes i took pass/no pass and the fourth class (the one with the take home final) doesn't have a grade posted yet.
  • i like the use of the floor tom in the beach boys' pet sounds...they use it a lot and i don't know what it is about it, but it has just the right amount of reverb and sounds really nice.
  • so here's the plan as far as i can figure it out so far. my grades pretty much suck overall so getting into grad school would be trying and not too fruitful. so after college i take a quarter off and live in some girl's pants then i go and get some teaching credentials and start teaching government in high school.
  • phil got back from mexico and, well, he had a crazy time. bad boy.
  • no more tv means no more movies for a while. this sucks. the summer was supposed to be the time for catching up on my 300 goal.


    • 6-25-00 (01:31)

  • updated movie list.
  • people are strange, when you're a stranger. faces look ugly, when you're alone. jim morrison rocks.
  • tired, i am.


    • 6-24-00 (21:32)

  • 7-11 changed their slurpee lid...it used to be a perfect circle on top of the clear plastic dome. now the perfect circle has turned into a circle made of a bunch of straight lines (like an octagon, except with more sides to make it more circular) - this makes it so that when you put the lid on top and fill it there will be space to allow the air to escape. the old way had a circle dispenser and a circle opening so that it made an airtight fit. i think they changed it because what would happen is that the air wouldn't be able to escape and so the lid would pop off, usually making quite the mess. these are the kind of things no one notices.
  • got a toolbox today.
  • for some reason i want a 4 track recorder, hopefully it's just a phase because i have absolutely no use for it.
  • phil is in mexico right now, probably drinking, definitely getting it on with chicks. lucky guy.
  • i have no idea how i'm going to get my car in the shop this week. unless we finish before 430 one day this week i don't see it happening. their hours are 730-5 so that pretty much sucks ass.
  • not sure why led zeppelin owns all of the rock genre, but they pretty much do.
  • these damn bugs ate into my skin at the last job site, it has proven to be very annoying. if better judgment didn't prevail i might cut off parts of my leg to get rid of their bite marks.
  • good news with the car is that i bought another nut and screwed it on with much trouble, but it is far less sluggish (probably not sluggish at all) than it once was. this means the carb isn't leaking. still i'd like to take the car in because i am going on a 150 mile round-trip trek next weekend.
  • in the yellow pages there is an auto repair advertisement for "negro's auto repair" hmmmm.


    • 6-24-00 (14:27)

  • well the parts section of the car place is open, but not the service section. white.
  • kurtis blow is cool and apparently gets sampled a lot more than i had thought...out of five songs i've recognized at least 3 different portions of his songs which have been sampled by other artists. crazy.
  • beastie boys sampled kurtis blow several times.
  • run dmc make a cameo on a kurtis blow track. i'm tired.


    • 6-24-00 (00:46)

  • updated movie list.
  • worked 12 hours today, that might be illegal.
  • taking car in tomorrow.
  • i'm extremely tired.
  • put some lemon juice type stuff in my hair and now my hair is blond/orange, cool.
  • got burned on my arm a bit, not too bad.
  • updated cd list.
  • tomorrow i plan on sleeping a lot.
  • this goes out to all the homies who do manual labor - i give you big time respect.
  • workers of the world, UNITE!


    • 6-23-00 (00:02)

  • updated movie list.
  • car is a real trooper. discovered today that one of the two nuts holding the carb to the intake manifold is off and nowhere to be found...an obvious problem because the gas/air mixture leaks and its richness is compromised. pretty sluggish when it first starts up. this is a sticky situation so i'm going to take the car in for a bit of a tune up on saturday...it shouldn't be any big deal...i'll have them put the missing nut on, check the compression, and other 6K mile check up type stuff. once that is taken care of i'll adjust the valves, maybe fix the e-brake, try and work on the heater...but this all for the future.
  • i feel like my birthday has already passed.
  • i'm tired, it was a long 10 hour day today.
  • i had breakfast burritos with some bacon in the mix, yum.
  • this has been a really long month.
  • my car really rocks considering gas was spurting out of the carb, missing a nut, the air filter is probably 8 years old, and it still goes 80 mph.
  • there are these idiots who come around asking for magazine subscriptions...they're always frat boy material. one came up to me not too long ago and beat around the bush trying to build a rapport. he asked where i lived and i said los angeles, he asked where, i said in the valley - sylmar. he said 'oh there are a bunch of mexicans there, huh?' i said i guess so. he said 'you must have a bunch of mexican friends then, huh?' i said 'yea, something like that'...then he tried to sell me the magazines, i said 'no thanks, we had some fool come by a little while ago asking the same thing.' he said 'what did you say? fool?'...i said 'yea, i said fool'...he said 'that's what the mexicans say a lot, huh, fool. right?' i said 'i guess'...from there the discussion was lacking excitement, but i was very ready to slice into his head with my machete. what a fool.
  • i'm actually staying somewhat burn free despite being in the sun all day. my scalp hasn't burned either, this is good.
  • got my penultimate uc davis library paycheck today, that'll help.
  • xoom server has been better, good.
  • the world has been thoroughly screwed over by people who think white. superiority, divine purpose, lack of brotherhood, these things (among some others) makeup whiteness. atomic cafe, the movie i done seen today, was testament to this. it's amazing how dangerous someone is when they feel they are sent by god, or carrying out god's orders. those who say the bible is the word of god will say that hindering the gospel is a sin. i wouldn't want to stop them from converting millions of non-whites on their homeland. hmmm.
  • sleepy.


    • 6-22-00 (00:00)

  • system is lagging a bit, hmmm.
  • car worked pretty well on the way to the job. tomorrow work starts at 8am. shit.
  • today wasn't too bad at all, i found away to stay cool and shield from the sun at the same time....wet rags be doing wonders.
  • updated movie list. i'm up to 115 now, well behind schedule, but catching up lately.
  • pink floyd really owns.
  • i think my next few cd purchases will include pink floyd (meddle or piper at the gates of dawn) and tool's first cd.
  • i was going to go golfing with my dad the day after father's day because he didn't have work until 1pm that day, but at 10am the land owners, i mean his boss, called him into work. that was very capitalistic, managerial, impersonal, and white. ahhhh, capitalism.
  • i hope my sister doesn't become too spoiled, that would be very white.
  • time to sleep.


    • 6-21-00 (00:38)

  • looks like i don't have as much work as i might have thought tomorrow. i also don't have a ride to get to work, so the bug will get its first real taste of the summer.
  • updated movie list. again.
  • my dad's new car is pretty fun to drive, it's a cabriolet 92. i'll have to say that unless i get a porsche i can't foresee myself getting anything other than a volkswagon.
  • i had some other things i was thinking about, but either i forget or don't need to write about them.


    • 6-20-00 (19:57)

  • updated movie list.
  • so i went home, that ranged from shitty to surreal.
  • i'll leave out the details.
  • went out with phil one night to cruise around on 3rd street, that was cool. plenty of street acts. rewind...before we went there we were going around running errands on the bus (because neither of us had a car) and saw a few fights...mostly among homeless people. one man one woman. one time we saw a woman beating her male partner with his cane. later we saw them in westwood, still together. the battle of los angeles (the rage against the machine album really makes more sense now). i see the rest of the world heading the same direction as los angeles, thus the battle of los angeles is the same as the battle for the rest of the country's well-being.
  • so we're in santa monica, on third street, and it's getting a bit late and so far we haven't had any luck with the ladies. we decide to head home. we see this one hottie stumbling along and phil asks her if she needs an escort for the night. it was pretty damned funny. phil's not usually the type to do that. she, in her drunken state, says yes. so we walk on each side of her towards her place. she happens to live on the same street as phil. she keeps repeating the same things over and over and asking us the same questions, it really was quite funny. we get to 11th and wilshire (about two blocks from her house and three from phil's). there is a bar there so of course she wants to go in. neither phil or i are old enough, but she gets us in. she buys each of us a beer, i give mine to phil. we're talking about bullshit mostly. now to me she looked like she was maybe 24, at most i would have said 26. but she asks how old we think she is and i say 23. turns out she's 30. good lord. seriously she was extremely hot, model type. i was really surprised that she was 30. finally we get out of the bar and head towards her place. the whole time we are walking, or in the bar for that matter, she is hanging on us, hugging us, etc. it was the original cock tease. i had no misconceptions though, so i really never had it in my head that i would be getting any. ha ha. finally we drop her off at her place and she lets us in. we talk and when she is ready to go to sleep she asks us if we want to stay the night because her roommate is out of town. we say no. she later invites us to go to mexico with her because there is a huge volleyball tourney there and she and her four girlfriends are going to go there for the weekend. hmmm.
  • the upshot is...i can't go because i have paint training, but phil is going. she gave us her phone number and we did the same. she'll probably never call me because (as she later told phil) she didn't think i liked her...
  • my dad has about 1950 books, i counted.


    • 6-15-00 (05:50)

  • i think it's natural to desire leadership. i desire a social leader. i desire a malcolm x, a MLK, a che guevera, someone please step up.
  • i've almost finished all two liters of my mountain dew, this can't be good.
  • i'm about done with this paper. i've taken a shower, packed my bags, etc.
  • this paper isn't quite what the teacher wants because i don't have one of the articles it is supposed to be based on. the library doesn't have it and i didn't bother buying it so i'm working around it, infering a lot, bullshitting some, theorizing more.
  • i've gotten more scars on my forearm the last few months than i have in the rest of my life combined. scars of all kinds build character. that which does not kill me makes me stronger.
  • 06:20, just finished.


    • 6-15-00 (04:45)

  • more than half done with the second one.
  • got this shit from a website (it be about tobacco, in case you can't figure that out):
  • Indeed, prior to its 1996 about-face, the FDA had long held that cigarettes were not “drugs” within its purview, unless the manufactures made health or therapeutic claims—something that not even the tobacco companies were ready to assert. In 1996, the FDA reversed itself, ruling that nicotine is a “drug.” To justify its change of position, the FDA extensively documented the dangers associated with tobacco products, noting that “[m]ore than 400,000 people die each year from tobacco-related illnesses, such as cancer, respiratory illnesses, and heart disease, often suffering long and painful deaths,” and that “[t]obacco kills more people each year in the United States than acquired immunodeficiency syndrome (AIDS), car accidents, alcohol, homicides, illegal drugs, suicides, and fires, combined.”
  • The FDA recognized, however, that it was forced into a paradoxical position.  The FDA’s core objective is to ensure that any product within its regulatory power is “safe and effective.” Given that it had just documented the dangers associated with tobacco use, how could it possibly declare cigarettes and other tobacco products safe? It seemed that if the FDA claimed jurisdiction over tobacco products it would have no choice but to ban them altogether.  Yet, a little known federal law prevents such a ban, largely for economic reasons: [t]he marketing of tobacco constitutes one of the greatest basic industries of the United States with ramifying activities which directly affect interstate and foreign commerce at every point, and stable conditions therein are necessary to the general welfare.
  • The only way out of the paradox was for cigarettes to be both very dangerous yet also “safe,” and the FDA’s lawyers rose to the occasion.  Everything, realized the lawyers, turned on the meaning of “safe.” Cigarettes, said the FDA were “unsafe, as that term is conventionally understood,” but were indeed “safe” when the effects of an outright ban were considered. According to the FDA, in determining whether a drug delivery device such as a cigarette is “safe” under the Food, Drug, and Cosmetics Act, the agency must consider “not only the risks presented by a product but also any of the countervailing effects of use of the product, including the consequences of not permitting the product to be marketed.”
  • very interesting stuff. rhetoric is a funny thing.
  • …the FDA found that, because of the high level of addiction among tobacco users, a ban would likely be “dangerous.”  …  In particular, current tobacco users could suffer from extreme withdrawal, the health care system and available pharmaceuticals might not be able to meet the treatment demands of those suffering from withdrawal, and a black market offering cigarettes even more dangerous than those currently sold legally would likely develop. … The FDA therefore concluded that, ‘while taking cigarettes and smokeless tobacco off the market could prevent some people from becoming addicted and reduce death and disease for others, the record does not establish that such a ban is the appropriate health response under the act.’ … Thus, in 1996, the FDA ruled that cigarettes and other tobacco products, despite being addictive and dangerous, were “safe” when compared to the much greater dangers associated with prohibition.  Thus, the FDA could have its cake and eat it to; cigarettes were “drugs” within its jurisdiction, yet safe enough that they could be regulated rather than banned.
  • could be interesting stuff for mary jane advocates...it might be interesting to see if lawyers for legalization of certain drugs try and use this precedent in the opposite direction...the black market makes mary jane's effects worse than if it were legalized, therefore it is a matter of societal health to legalize and control mary jane. worth a shot if you are an advocate.
  • it's funny because malcolm x said that nicotine is as addictive, if not more so, than any other drug out there...and he had done just about all of them.
  • i'm tired.


    • 6-15-00 (03:15)

  • mountain dew is starting to kick in. just in time. almost done with the longer paper, bout a half page left.
  • the deal with putting "a" or "an" before the following word is this: if it has a vowel sound following it then you should put "an" if it's a consonant sound then you put an "a" before it. so: half an hour. i have an apple. i have a dick. about a half page left. it's common sense, but most people don't think about it this way. many say you always put "a" before the word if it has a vowel as the first letter. and never before a word whose first letter is a consonant. half an hour proves to throw off this theory. but with my theory it works because "hour" is pronounced "ower" (with a short O, more or less).
  • that was completely unnecessary, but i think it makes sense and if i become a teacher that's one of those things i'll try to impart to the young ones.
  • the more i think about it the more i want to be a government teacher with a loose curriculum. i'll teach the comunist manifesto (except i'll spell it right when i teach it) and other such works.
  • fly on little wing.
  • i added the pol sci 112 paper to the list.


    • 6-15-00 (00:04)

  • listen, to the situation my son, i'm as serious as cancer, all fun is done.
  • really though i have two papers, one 3-5 and one 5 pager, and one final all to be completed by 10am tomorrow. the final is from 8-10 and the papers are really my take home final. then i ride a bus to the airport and catch a wave out of here. twelve hours from now i will be taxing in a plane on my way to home.
  • it's the time in between that matters.
  • last night was super fun. today we had more fun. chlorine, water, sugar, hmmmm.
  • i'll go over my parenting theories quickly. once your child reaches a decent age and he reaches for the hot stove i warn him once, the second time i let him burn himself.
  • on choices: i don't shelter my child from the world's views or the many many choices it offers. i set him up to choose the best one when he encounters them. hiding your kid from reality is a bad thing. of course there are age and maturity requirements for when this happens. hardship builds character, but one must know that their family has always got their back.


    • 6-14-00 (02:09)

  • haven't had much spare time. worked a bit on the take home final, but not enough.
  • johnny is here with marc, his friend from santa cruz/new orleans. we had fun running around.
  • i'm really tired.
  • i have to talk about my theories on parenting the next time i get a chance.
  • the use of "white" doesn't seem to be flying well with most people.
  • played some ball today, went to work, checked out a bunch of videos from the reserves. tired.


    • 6-13-00 (02:13)

  • long day. i went to oakland today to see the aunt, that was fun.
  • they have horrible freeway exit signs around there.
  • be aware of your environment. think about things going on around you. it's hard to do, but it will reap many benefits. i even go so far as to think about the ants i step on. or about the life stories of people i pass in their cars.
  • when i started the car today i thought about how the gas and air was mixing in the carb and then there were explosions because of the compression and all that craziness....it's mind boggling. if you think about too much shit around you it really gets crazy.
  • it's late and my head isn't working.
  • speaking of which i have work tomorrow. johnny is visiting tomorrow too.
  • i have to work on my take home final soon. damn.
  • this is a crazy world. this update was stupid.
  • we need more brother/sisterhood in this world. that's one thing the government should fear. if the people had a sense of brotherhood (different from patriotism) then there is virtually no limit to what we could do. there must be some unity in order to enact real change. we can't always rely on the "talented tenth" to get shit done. where is the talented tenth now? making money in dotcoms i guess.


    • 6-12-00 (01:19)

  • all praise it due to allah for my life, but also to vern/aaron for watching the car while i went to kragen and to scott for the use of his tools.
  • it's odd because the one person i wrote to who i didn't expect a letter back from (trent lott) was the first, and so far only, person to write back. i wrote to the president, governor, senator majority and minority leaders, house majority and minority leaders and the speaker of the house. of all these i least expected the speaker and the senate majority. obviously trent lott is the senate majority leader, but still wrote back. i figured that i would get an automated one from the governor and president and then maybe actual responses from the rest. of course it means nothing the same way my singular vote means nothing. it does mean something in other ways though.
  • updated movie list.
  • i've seen 105 movies this year. far off schedule, but then it's been an uphill battle the whole time. maybe over the summer i'll get some help with other people renting a few movies. when i go home i plan on spending much time in front of my dad's tv watching pay per view and some of the harder to find videos he owns or has taped off AMC and such.
  • saw a biography of W.E.B. DuBois just now. it's amazing that he lived for 95 years, from the 1860s to the 1960s, what a difference. that's just crazy to me.
  • i'll have to agree with malcolm x - there must first be some black-black unity before there is black-white unity. it seems that too often the leaders of the black community spend time fighting each other rather than the system. booker t. washington - well not much to say about that guy. not that great of a leader from what i've heard.
  • i also must agree with malcolm in that i too love to learn, however i don't like reading as much as he did.
  • played some basketball today, just shot around really.
  • how long? not long, because what you reap is what you sow!
  • i think the "i have a dream" speech should be called the "let freedom ring" speech. he says "i have a dream" eight times in the speech and they are mostly toward the middle part of the speech. he says "let freedom ring" seven times and they are at the end of the speech. also, "let freedom ring" sounds more profound and universal than "i have a dream." just a thought.
  • i got 78 hits last week, i'd attribute that to the trip de la MM page being completed. maybe i should go on more trips in order to increase traffic. or not.
  • i should get to sleeping if i'm going to go to oakland tomorrow.
  • i wish tupac, kurt cobain, malcolm x, and MLK were still alive today.


    • 6-11-00 (22:20)

  • i hardly ever go on icq these days.
  • i took out my carb today and cleaned/disassembled it. it was fun and educational. i adjusted the volume control (mixture screw) when i shouldn't have. what happened was i had really bad instructions from this place online. it told me to take out the main jet screw and when i looked at the illustration it didn't match up at all to the actual carb. so from there i just started undoing all the screws i could find. sadly one was the volume control. then there was the fuel line. i had to get a new tube because the old one was clamped on with some really badly designed clamp that didn't allow for adjusting at all. so i went to kragen and asked the guy for some fuel tubing, he had no clue what i was talking about. finally i got the message across. he took me in the back so i could pick which size i wanted. the tubing he was cutting was smooth, without the sheath on the outside like my old fuel line. i asked if it was the same stuff and he said "yea, it's the all the same." then we went to the front to checkout and he couldn't find the tubing prices on the computer, finally he got the manager over to look and while she was showing him how to find it she looked at the tubing and said "didn't you want fuel line?"...i, of course, said yes and she said "oh this is vacuum tubing, it'll get ripped up on the fuel line." then we got the right fuel tubing. she explained later (and i talked to the all-knowing phil about it) that fuel tubing needs extra reinforcement, that vacuum tubing doesn't have. hmmm. so finally i get it all back in the car and ready to go. i pump some fuel into the carb and it fires once and then cuts. i give it a little while, give it some more gas and crank it again. it starts up, really slowing, so i give it more gas. when i let off the gas it dies though. so obviously that volume control screw is off. so i adjust the step on the throttle, crank it up, adjust the volume control and now it's working fine.
  • then i watch the pacers play like they should in a easy win over the lakers.
  • while i was working on the car vern was working on aaron's (a KDVS DJ and fellow classmate) hair. did a fairly good job i must say.
  • while vern was working on aaron's head, uhm, hair i mean, jon was working on painting a house.
  • now none of us are working.
  • i had a crazy fresh dream last night.
  • i'm probably going to go to oak town tomorrow to visit the aunt, just during the day.
  • maybe when phil is up here i'll do some more daring stuff on the car. when i have some tools maybe i'll adjust the valves and such. that reminds me, i added a couple things to the wish list i have.
  • i also might paint my car this summer if i can find some decent, and cheap, paint. just a thought.
  • if i was smart i'd get my take home final out the way now.
  • johnny will probably come up on tuesday and wednesday. yay.


    • 6-11-00 (14:04)

  • it's sunday so there is nothing to do. people have finals tomorrow so there is even less to do.
  • scott went to folsom lake to have some frat boy type fun. sounds good if i like girls but i don't. i'm officially asexual now. i think it'll help my studies and religious pursuits, so all is well.
  • had some crazy mad blts yesterday, had 12 oz of bacon in all, that would amount to (pre-cooked) 360% of my daily allowed saturated fat. i'd say at least half of that was cooked off so i'm not too bad off.
  • i had potential plans to go to my aunt's house in SF, but there hasn't been any response yet. maybe they are at church, or not.
  • then there is the potential camping trip. i have a tent and sleeping bag so i might just go to some wooded area, pitch camp and sleep. but that doesn't happen until later, if it happens.
  • damany (another KDVS jazz DJ) is playing the great charlie mingus track - haitian fight song - a track i just played last week. what a great track.


    • 6-10-00 (18:47)

  • done with two finals and have two to go. i have five days with nothing to do.
  • cooked up some bacon and had me a blt, without the t.
  • had work today.
  • reporting isn't as fun as editorializing, if there is such a word.
  • i think album II of pink floyd's the wall should be album I and album I should be album II, it works better that way.
  • got back that crappy essay. i got a C+ and the TA, who writes like an invalid, wrote on there: "you really need to proofreed before turning work it." - hmmmm, who needs to proofread? it was actually funny reading over some of the comments this guy gave my paper. ho hum.
  • trent lott, senate majority leader, was the first (and so far only) person to have written back to me. he said he agreed about education and the environment being very very important and said that nuclear proliferation was a problem he thought would be best solved by increasing U.S. defense systems. what can i expect - he is a republican. the important thing is that he wrote back rather than sending me a form letter, and actually signed it too. all this from some mississippi senator who has no allegiance to me.
  • going to watch a movie tonight even though i have zero funds.


    • 6-10-00 (00:19)

  • this is the second friday in a row that hasn't sucked. yay.
  • i got a whole load of food stuffs from my awesome grandmother whose birthday it also is.
  • looks like i'm going home for the five free days i have.
  • i have a final tomorrow. it's amazing how little initiative i have to study. imagine if i was a senior, wait i will be a senior in less than a week. crazy.
  • i've been toying with the idea of a second major and thus an extra year of school. hmmmm.
  • "does anybody here remember vera lynn, how she said we will meet again some sunny day."
  • updated movie list.
  • watched a "speeches of MLK" video last night. i have a biography on WEB DuBois video here to watch, probably tomorrow night. it's due tomorrow, so i'll have to renew it while i'm at work.
  • maybe i can snatch up some hours the next four days or so while i'm waiting for my last final. it kinda sucks that i have four days between my last final and the final tomorrow. there is, of course, the take home final that needs to be done sometime by the 15th also. ho hum.
  • there is so much crap i'm supposed to know by tomorrow. this is the same teacher as the final i already had...for that class she gave us a one page review sheet, for this class there are six pages of stuff we are to review. crap.
  • this world definitely needs more feelings of brotherhood. that's something that i have flashes of, but for the most part i don't really portray it in my actions. i gotta do so more often.
  • vern said he never gets phone calls and within the last day he's gotten two on my line and two on his. hmmm.
  • i have lots of stuff to download, it gives me and my computer something to do. yay.
  • fuck the lakers. fuck rick fox. fuck the triangle offense. fuck rik smits. fuck the staples arena. viva la democratic socialism.
  • had some handsome fun with the water balloon looncher. that was dumb....had some fun with the water balloon launhcer.
  • "are there any queers in the theater tonight? get them up against the wall! there's one in the spotlight, he don't look right to me - get him up against the wall. and that one looks jewish and that one's a coon!..." -pink floyd, the wall


    • 6-9-00 (03:50)

  • just watched malcolm x on a whim, it's a bit late now.
  • the 60s were amazing.
  • i wish we had great leaders these days.
  • the following was written about Malcolm X' autobiography: "a lifetime spent learning the obvious"  June 30, 1999...Reviewer: A reader from Florida. First of all, what kind of autobiography is written by someone other than the subject of the autobiography? That would be like me writing the autobiography of President Clinton. The proper word here is biography NOT autobiography. Poor Malcom. He spends an entire life learning the obvious. I was not impressed. Of course, anger is a dead end. Of course, the Muslims aren't all they would like us to think they are. Of course, a life of petty crime is a dead end. If he had actually shut up for a while and listened to other people, he could have saved himself a lot of trouble, and maybe still be alive. But some people are so dense they will not listen but need to hit their heads against the wall over and over again. These are the unteachable ones who need to reinvent the wheel rather than borrow it.


    • 6-8-00 (17:08)

  • well the gig is up, no one noticed that the updated on the 4th wasn't written by me, in fact it was written by luke. there's no way i could make an update as funny. there's also no way that i would borrow a foreigner cd from anyone, nor would i say foreigner is better than elo.
  • today it rained. that was white.
  • updated the wack ass poll
  • i finished malcolm x' autobiography. i've got so much respect for him. it was worth spending 6 months on, any less would have been an insult. i'm going to read the epilogue by alex haley next - it's about 80 pages so that'll be fun.
  • i was accosted by a christian today who said my only path to heaven was by admitting i'm a sinner and that jesus is my savior. i'll do that later. he also said that the bible is unflawed. i think his thinking is flawed, but that's okay (ala stuart smiley).
  • fuck the lakers to hell. i bomb your place. die.
  • i've nothing to do.
  • seven hours from now will be the celebration of a great woman's birth - recognize.
  • you must also recognize the greatness of roger waters. syd who?
    • 6-8-00 (01:28)
  • my computer either restarts itself or someone is using it, either way it's pretty white.
  • had a final today which was white. got back a test grade which was not very white.
  • malcolm x is boss.
  • i'm tired. we had some fun with the water balloon launcher tonight.


    • 6-7-00 (01:50)

  • i have a horrid fear of bitches. packs of them. it's happened before and it'll happen again. the first time the bitches first hit me in full force was in 6th grade. i was in between schools at the time because i had been kicked out so i had to go to some daycare place in culver city. there were about 4-5 girls there all about my age who had been there before me. they made me feel as welcome as a rat among cats. they really did tear into me in every way possilbe, except physically. they would make me think i was cool with them just to play some horrible joke on me. or they would just make fun of me for no reason. perhaps the worst thing about it was that they could always resort to the "we're just kidding, lighten up" excuse. that's always the kicker because it adds insult to injury. from that day forth i saw that i must never again get caught in the bitch pack again, it's too trying of an experience. i doubt that anyone knows, really knows, what it was like. girls can definitely be worse than guys, no doubt. i wonder what it about women that allow them to come in packs like that. it was honestly an emotional gangrape. there's one thing that's also for sure, you don't ever want to get a girl pissed off. if i ever get a girlfriend i know one day i'll piss her off and that'll be the end of a lot of things. fuck that shit.
  • the above came from nowhere, but it's all true.


    • 6-7-00 (00:00)

  • played some crappy basketball today. most of it was crappy anyway.
  • i have a final tomorrow which will be great fun.
  • so i'm at the part of the book where malcolm x goes on his pilgrimage and discovers that being white is a state of mind and a set of actions, i discovered this not too long ago, and much earlier in my life than malcolm x did in his. i'd say that's worth something.
  • i sent out a grip of emails today. that will prove to be a sound investment.


    • 6-6-00 (00:59)

  • i think it's good to have hardship, it builds character and perspective. there is also a difference between knowing a perspective and having actually experienced that perspective. i know what it must be like to live in a third world country without any money but i've never really experienced it. seeing it would be one step closer but not the same as experiencing it. i'm glad i lived in a bad part of la for a while. i actually feel bad for people who were always sheltered from that kind of stuff.
  • i much prefer reality over peace of mind and white two story houses. at the same time reality is best served in occasional doses.
  • people get excited by different things, for me it's mass action by the people. i get goosebumps when i see people taking matters into their own hands, it's just really awesome to me. in the latest rage against the machine they do a skit of a mock "who wants to be a millionaire?" - it's called "who wants to be filthy f%$&*@# rich?"...at any rate there are questions about various things like "how many people live in the U.S. live in poverty?" ... at the end this black guy dressed in rags wins the jackpot and they are shoving money into his arms and he's holding all of it and then throws it all back at them, from there a riot ensues. it was pretty exciting stuff. i like it when people decide not to sellout, in this case he just happened to start a bit of a violent protest at the same time.
  • if anyone gets me a cell phone for my birthday i'll be sorely disappointed.
  • even thought i'm not much of a folk fan, it can have it's moments. i can definitely see how a whole generation could be so moved by bob dylan, he's pretty damned boss.
  • 21 in less than a month, moving in less than 3, graduating in 12.
  • this quarter has gone quickly. time is very strange. an hour can seem so long sometimes, but a year can seem like nothing. it's hard to believe that my mom had my sister when she was still in her twenties.
  • i always think of being old as any age past 40 because physically you aren't as sharp anymore. but there's a full 20 years between 40 and 60. this is obvious, but it's strange to think that that is for me a whole lifetime. at the same time you don't really change much between 40 and 60. you might change jobs a couple times you probably won't be retired. by far the first 20 years are the most exciting. and the 10 after that are interesting, but after that it seems a lot harder to "one up" what you've done before. by the time i'm 40 i will have seen every classic movie on my list and then some. i will own all the classic albums i want. i will have hitchhiked, lived in a van, finally gotten laid (hopefully), and more. what comes after that? maybe by that time i'll be a self-actualized person thanks to my self-help books and tapes and will be better equiped to find my true love. or not.
  • speaking of finding true love, i really had rather not find that shit until a lot later. i'd rather not be tied down at twenty something. what a drag that would be.
  • in utero is a very solid album which ends extremely well.
  • i've updated my extensive wish list somewhat lately. i can't come up with too many things i want as presents.
  • updated movie list.
  • sleep time.


    • 6-5-00 (16:38)

  • what do you say to a kid who asks you "why can't everyone be equal?" .... "why doesn't socialism work?" the answer is because people are stupid.
  • work early was tiring.
  • this is the last week of class, yay.
  • about 90 percent of my emails are sent to four people.
  • 80 percent of the country's wealth is owned by the top 10 percent of the people.
  • 45 million people don't have health care.
  • you care so much you wrote to your representative this month and voted in the last election.


    • 6-5-00 (01:34)

  • the first minute of pink floyd's dark side of the moon is so perfect, builds just right.
  • updated movie list.
  • check out the trip page
  • check out the poll
  • i really like war movies because it really speaks to man at its best and worst and most irrational. great stuff. of my top six favorite movies i own, three are war movies. dr. strangelove, great escape, and full metal jacket.
  • dr. strangelove is so great. it ends with the timeless vera lynn tune "we'll meet again" which you old coots will remember. pink floyd of course has a song dedicated to her on "the wall"...actually a lot of the same anti-war themes in the movie as on the album. great minds think alike.
  • i could see pink floyd eventually passing up metallica on my list.
  • i was reading cosmo today because i wanted my mind to be numbed. i can't possibly impart to you how retarded and demeaning that magazine is. i honestly think it does more to demean women than porn does. inside the magazine they had a story on how to attract guys...one of the pointers was to suck in your stomach. there was another part that listed "six things every cosmo woman carries"...a cell phone was one of them - "so you can always be clued in"
  • the mcdonalds commercial that shows a group of young kids coming to the counter and labels them future mcdonalds staff is sad, at the same time there are things to be learned from working at such a place.
  • onto more important things. ha ha.
  • blazers handed the game to an overrated lakers team. the blazers didn't do the little things it took. had it been homecourt they would have won. had they gotten a few calls that they probably should have, they would have won. there were several instances that i saw where people weren't boxing out correctly or were making mental mistakes.
  • pippen played well, but missed a 3 pointer that would have made him a champion. it would have given them back the lead, silenced the crowd, and given them some momentum. i wish larry bird was still playing so he could ball the lakers up.
  • here's the thing with post-michael jordan basketball...there's a real lack of great players who can create for themselves and their teammates who also use their head. once bird and magic left there was a void, then jordan stepped up in a big way. now the only people left who have the whole package are stockton and malone. kobe bryant has more talent than either of those, but doesn't have the mental aspect down yet. yet. i hate him. there was a point late in the game when the lakers were down by 16 when i thought for sure kobe was going to try and take over himself. he didn't. i was impressed and i'm sure he got props for that from phil jackson later on.
  • played some basketball today and had some good plays. basketball is a lot about confidence. confidence in yourself and your teammates. today it was there.
  • i'd like to be on the basketball or track team just as a coach's shadow.
  • pink floyd really is boss.
  • i have to wake up at 9am tomorrow that sucks. i think i have a final on wednesday. i'll be playing basketball on tuesday. i wish i was taller or had more hops, ups, verts, etc.
  • levi, this guy we play basketball with, said today "i give you props for that one chris" today. i about broke down and cried.
  • when people remember my name i take it as a huge compliment.
  • this world is really stupid quite often, but i guess we have to ride the wave.
  • almost forgot, but not sure why...got the water balloon launcher and today we tested it out in a big way. damn it makes those buggers fly. got my aim down pretty well too. they were going over 120 yards i'd say.


    • 6-4-00 (16:00)

  • i borrowed Marina's Foreigner CD and listened to it 3 times while I was updating the pics. ive decided that their laid back and romantic songs own ELO on my list.  i will listen a few more times before I make it official.
  • the problem with Capitalism is that not everyone can be rich. whats up with that?
  • dreamed last night I was swimming in the Ocean and I didnt have any feet. I instead had 4 hands.  I was scared but then again I was very happy.
  • last night I was pretty bored so I went and practiced my strokes on the back wall. Id say im not quite proficient at painting but close to where I want to be.
  • i cant believe I spelled proficient right on the first try.
  • went and looked in the mirror and found that I am indeed white. White.
  • ryan doesnt update anymore. I used to think he was cool but not anymore.
  • for whats it worth, Safeway's Mountain Dew is better than real Mountain Dew. That will save me some precious money.


    • 6-4-00 (15:00)

  • i had a dream that the blazers won today.
  • if the trip page isn't loading all the pictures for you then you can right click on the place where the pic is supposed to be and choose "show picture" or you can just click reload...sometimes the browser will timeout because it's trying to download all the pics at once rather than one at a time. if you use internet explorer it shouldn't happen. it should also take about 3-4 mins to load all the pictures and text on a 56K.
  • i think i might add some more text in between the pictures to compensate for the long loading time. that way you'll be reading stuff while waiting for the pictures below to load. it took me 5 mins to load the color page and all the pictures came up.
  • mom thanks for teaching me that noise is pollution.


    • 6-4-00 (04:24)

  • watched a movie.
  • wasted a lot of time working on a page dedicated to the trip. mostly worked on doing shit with the pictures, resizing, changing to black and white, etc. i think i made it so that people will be able to view them nicely on most computers and shouldn't take too too long to load up.
  • today was pretty boring.
  • i go the water balloon launcher and we tried it out a bit. with some adjustments we should be able to make it perform nicely. fun stuff.
  • music makes you happy even after your girlfriend dumps you, your best friend dies, and your frat brothers pass out.
  • so check out the trip page, it's nothing great, it's just there.


    • 6-3-00 (22:49)

  • here's how i'll break it down. my favorite led zeppelin album is the one i'm listening to at the time. the same applies to the beastie boys and pink floyd.
  • here's what sucks. when you've got about 4 friends. one is gone and the other 3 commit to doing something on a saturday night then they all back out on saturday night. or it could be that i'm overreacting and it was just a loose agreement, not a commitment. that's what my wife will say as we're filling out the divorce papers.
  • i'm never getting married and neither is george clooney (he said so in a recent interview).
  • i guess one good thing about being attached to your girlfriend at the hip is that you won't break agreements to get together.
  • johnny hooked it up, i now have all the pictures from the trip on my computer.
  • on another brick in the wall i thought they were saying 'no thoughts of chasm' really they're saying 'no dark sarcasm'...i like mine better.
  • oh right, the pictures. they might be up soon. maybe, maybe not. i could back out of that at the last second you won't know till it happens because i'm like that. tough luck for you.
  • guess i'll go pay cut throat rates at the only video store that is open now. 4 bucks for a new release is insane.


    • 6-3-00 (01:12)

  • johnny is hooking me up big time with the scanned pictures from the trip, he's the bomb. this of course means there will be a few more pics up soon enough. and whenever vern gets around to finishing off his roll and getting those scanned those will be up as well.
  • jon is going to be painting with us i guess. the bug will be happier.
  • let's talk about the over-reaction syndrome. the DOW goes down by 250 points and people have heart attacks. next month it reaches a record high. shaq makes 11 free throws in a row and people dub him "mr. automatic" (as in he's automatically going to make free throws now). next game he misses 6 in a row. these are true stories and just the tip of the ice berg. i think people need to check themselves. as epmd put it "you gots ta chill"
  • oh yea, there's this song called "your time is gonna come" by led zeppelin (my favorite band) and it fucking rocks. it seems like john paul jones and george harrison are very alike in some ways. john paul jones was on the best rock band ever. george harrison the second best rock band ever. both played bass. both were unsung greats from the band. as it turns out - two of my favorite beatles songs were written by george. by george! and of course the great john paul jones plays organ, piano, and mellotron. john and george, i salute you.
  • the first three songs on side b of led zeppelin I are so perfect in composition, style, sequence, everything. good lord. the two worst songs on led zeppelin I (not that there are any bad songs, but the two that are weakest) weren't written by led zeppelin.
  • played some late night b-ball which was fun.
  • even more fun was watching the lakers get the heads handed to them by the blazers. i hope to the almighty lord below that the blazers kick some laker bootay on sunday at 4:30pm PT. they have the tools, they've shown this. they have the heart. they have the coaching and ability in every way, it's just a matter of the right people stepping up at the right times to keep the lakers in check. look for shaq to score big. pippen needs to get off offensively and so do at least two people from the bench - maybe bonzi wells and detlef. damn it's going to be fun.
  • let me listen to music, play basketball and watch sports for the rest of my life and i'll be happy.
  • capitalism is bad because it breeds a mentality which is not at all conducive to democracy or healthy social living. it calls for competition in situations which determine quality of life. competition is fine when it doesn't involve losing your job and the consequences that go along with that. socialism, although not likely to work in real life, at least doesn't work because of people's limitations. namely it doesn't work because people don't have 'incentive' to work, or don't feel that they do. it at least attempts to breed a sense of community and equality. capitalism feels to me to be so primordial in its nature. yet it seems to have worked better than any other economic system so far - on a large scale. i used to say that industrialism screwed the world up - the environment has suffered, the working class has suffered (i don't see anymore workers guilds with the same power as back in the day), and division of labor which is part of the industrial revolution has made humans cogs in a machine. well i was wrong - it wasn't the industrial revolution, it was the system that encouraged that revolution - capitalism. i love being able to have a stereo system and a computer, but when it comes down to it those things, and many of the things we take for granted, aren't rights when there are people out there who don't have clothes, shelter or food. we haven't gotten to the point where health care, food, or shelter are rights. this is sad to me. we may regard them as rights, and surely we do take some steps to ensure people have opportunity to this end, but meanwhile we allow bill gates, et al., freedom to run around with gross amounts of money. i love freedom, but i say that freedom isn't a right until people human rights are granted - those being food, clothing, and shelter. it's not as simple as picking yourself up by your bootstraps. it's not the peoples' faults. it's a societal problem and i wish people would start to recognize that.
  • "breathe, breathe in the air, don't be afraid to care. leave, but don't leave me. look around, choose your own ground. long you live and high you fly. and smiles you'll give, and tears you'll cry. and all you touch, and all you see. is all your life will ever be. run rabbit run. dig that hole, forget the sun. and when at last the work is done. don't sit down, it's time to start another one. for long you live, and high you fly. but only if, you ride the tide. and balanced on the biggest wave. you race towards an early grave." -roger waters
  • rick fox is a little girl. rik smits needs to get game. lj ain't that hot. pat ewing needs to get some knees. r. miller isn't going to win a championship. l. bird should coach next year, but won't. s. pippen needs to step it up. kobe is a little bitch. shaq is a big bitch. rick fox is still a little girl.
  • i woke up this morning and thought the day was going to suck. i'm really happy it didn't. this is why you need people.
  • winamp finally released something new.


    • 6-2-00 (00:37)

  • i done been up for 62 hours with only 3 total hours of sleep. no problem.
  • i should sleep soon, but first:
  • updated movie list.
  • i hope that i am one day able to get action without acting like a woman about it.
  • i hope that if i die people will laugh a lot and bumb some block rockin' beats interspersed with mellow, but equally good, songs.
  • pet sounds is good. brian wilson went to a shrink in the same building as mine back in the day. i think he was a bit more fucked up than me.
  • thanks mom for teaching me to turn off lights when i'm done using them and to only turn on lights when i need them.
  • i should sleep now.
  • give me liberty or give me death.
  • check out the last picture from the sky i will be posting for a long time:


    • This is where I did much of the hardcore running while on outruns (4th and San Vicente in Santa Monica)
    The arrows on the left show the route we would run to do the "channels" - all up hill for 900m, they sucked.
    At the end of those we often would see Sugar Ray Leonard - this was when he was training for Macho Camacho.
    The arrows on the right were called "islands" a perfect half mile flat run (one mile round-trip) which extends to Montana Blvd (off the map)
    The "X" on the bottom of the picture is where I saw Jamie Lee Curtis in a tight little workout number. mmmm
    Just to the right of the "X" is where the Santa Monica Track Club coach hung out a lot. We would talk once in a while.
    Obviously the Santa Monica Track club is pretty big in running circles - they still own one of the world records for relay. Carl Lewis, Leroy Burrell, etc. were all part of it.
    The biggest street in the picture, running diagonally across is San Vicente. O.J.'s woman lived four miles up and off of this road.

    6-1-00 (16:44)
  • i just took some ecstasy, no telling what the side effects could be. -dr. dre
  • i get all the news i need on the weather report. -paul simon
  • i should get my water balloon launcher by saturday. -chris miller
  • updated cd list.


    • 6-1-00 (10:15)

  • well 2.1 spacing is close enough to double and 12 pt arial is close enough to 12 pt times new roman and 10 pages is close enough to "about 12 pages" so i'm officially done with my paper. i hate length requirements, i prefer guidelines. it's all in the thesis choice. we'll see if i get docked for picking a small topic and not writing very much. at this point i'm not too certain i care.
  • i have work and then class and then i'm done with the day.
  • i don't look forward to the radio show like i used to.


    • 6-1-00 (07:31)

  • hmm it's a 12 page paper i found out. i'd say i'm about half way done thanks to a longer than expected nap.
  • it's interesting stuff, but there's only so much one can say while sticking to the thesis. maybe i should expand the thesis. maybe i should just finish this paper and turn it in.
  • i need to take a shower and shave.
  • i've had 7 - 12 oz. cans of mountain dew within the last 36 hours...nothing compared to last year.
  • i'm about half way done and 90 percent out of ideas.
  • this paper sucks and i hate it.
  • i put the past updates where they belong.


    • 6-1-00 (01:50)

  • just the two of us. just the two of us and two more. just the three of us. just what the fuck?
  • well my midterm went well and i dumped the paper off without dying.
  • one last paper to go - 10 pages. i'm on page zero. reminds me of a public enemy song - "she watch channel zero"
  • this paper will be harder to write and will expand me brain a bit more, mate.
  • i'm tired and sleepy now. most of the day i was only tired, but not sleepy. during work i was neither.
  • work was dope once vern pulled himself away from the idiot box incarnate. there were some fine ladies with which to do nothing special. i think that women at this age are meant to annoy. to me they are the unattainable fruit. i don't think i really want any fruit right now anyway - it give me the runs and thus slows me down. i'd rather be able to run around the fruit trees looking, but not sampling. running is good. the runs aren't. women cause diarrhea.

    • with this level of creativity flowing i should get to writing this paper.
     

    5-31-00 (08:42)

  • well it's all done, printed out and all. shit that was a little bit of a bitch.
  • i should study for my midterm now.
  • i have work/class until 11pm tonight.
  • i have a 10-12 page paper due tomorrow. i love being a student.
  • in total (appendices and title page) the paper was 20 pages. the meat of it was 16 full pages. that be the longest crap i done taken since that bbq back in 96. i don't know what i'm talking about.


    • 5-31-00 (05:43)

  • i'm more than half way through and coming along easily. i've wasted lots of time by doing nothing in particular. i've got about 5 hours so maybe i should just finish this shit up.
  • why don't you vote?
  • why do you vote?
  • uh, check out my poll in case you haven't already.


    • 5-31-00 (02:51)

  • i'm about 5 pages through this piece o' shit and on my last guns and roses CD.
  • i wonder what my life and the world will be like when i'm 60.
  • i'm all about working under pressure.
  • i'm all about not proof reading my papers.
  • i'm all about eating more chocolate tonight than i should have.
  • i'm all about moving pink floyd ahead of ELO.
  • i'm all about getting more pink floyd and them moving them ahead of the stones, STP, deep purple, the doors, ac/dc, and CCR. it could happen.
  • i'm all about updating my wish list.
  • i'm all about coors commercials that have almost nothing to do with beer.
  • i'm all about coors commercials that talk about "the catch" (joe montana to dwight clark).
  • i'm all about telling you what "the catch" is if you don't already know.
  • i'm all about ridiculing your ignorance before i tell you about "the catch"


    • 5-30-00 (22:56)

  • haven't started the paper yet, but i think i'm done writing the questionnaire and tabulating the results thereof.
  • jon just discovered that the paper was due tomorrow, i wonder what he was thinking. it's all good though because he's got 17 hours to write it up. i, however, have 12 because i need to attend all my classes 1) because of a group project in the first class which counts toward our paper grade and 2) because there is a midterm in my second class. thus i must be done by 11am.
  • it's guns and roses all night. last week it was led zeppelin all night. after i'm done with guns and roses, which will happen in another 2.5 hours or so, i'll have to move onto black sabbath or nirvana, not sure which yet.
  • so that water balloon launcher that hasn't come yet didn't come because i didn't put in a mailing address when ordering it. this was the first time i had any problem with buying something online and it was my fault.
  • oh, i called my bank and asked for contact information for the charge to the water balloon company and this guy gave me the run around about needing more information than i was giving him...i told him i needed the phone number of the company that billed my account...he said he needed to know how much the transaction was for and when it was, i told him it was about 3 weeks ago for around 25 bucks. without looking it up he said "i'm going to need more information than that" i told him that the exact charge was 24.95, then he said that he wasn't getting anything coming up for that amount...the whole time he was a real asshole. so i asked for his manager. i told the manager the same thing "24.95 about 3 weeks ago" then he said he had a phone number for the company and he gave it to me. what the fuck was that other guy's problem? he was being a dick for the sake of being a dick.
  • i hate the lakers with a passion. the officiating staff was horrible - they made three really bad calls, two late in the game. the blazers still won. i really hope they win the series, but i doubt they will. i have always had a distinct dislike for scottie pippen. this changed when he came to portland. here is his chance to prove to me that he's a solid, clutch player who can shine in the clutch. he showed it today, but he'll have to do it again in game 6.
  • if we got abc i'd watch the NHL finals...dallas versus new jersey, should be fun stuff. i haven't watched hockey in a long time.
  • i have plenty of mountain dew.


    • 5-30-00 (17:25)

  • watch the basketball game or start working on my 15 page paper? i think we know the answer to that.
  • Time

    • "ticking away the moments that make up a dull day
    you fritter and waste the hours in an off hand way
    kicking around on a piece of ground in your home town
    waiting for someone or something to show you the way
    tired of lying in the sunshine staying home to watch the rain
    you are young and life is long and there is time to kill today
    and then one day you find ten years have got behind you
    no on told you when to run, you missed the starting gun
    and you run and you run to catch up with the sun, but it's sinking
    and racing around to come up behind you again
    the sun is the same in the relative way, but you're older
    shorter of breath and one day closer to death
    every year is getting shorter, never seem to find the time
    plans that either come to naught or half a page of scribbled lines
    hanging on in quiet desperation is the English way
    the time is gone the song is over, thought i'd something more to say"
    -Pink Floyd (Roger Waters)

    5-30-00 (11:25)

  • got a haircut the other day, from vern...i saved myself 11 bucks.
  • paint training was yesterday. would have earned about 50 bucks after taxes had it been a job. this summer should be interesting.
  • i have quite a day ahead of me...15 page paper is due tomorrow i also have a midterm tomorrow. then there is a 10 page paper due on thursday. the next two days will be fun.
  • i'm going to update my wish list soon.
  • i have work soon.


    • 5-29-00 (03:45)

  • reasons sundays suck:

    • everything is closed.
    nothing to do.
    church goers dominate the landscape.
    no mail.
    no class.
    no work.
  • i think i like the week more than the weekend, i really do.
  • just got back from a late night movie thanks to steve...he opened up the theater after hours and had another free showing.
  • updated movie list.
  • going to paint training in a few hours. i'm going to be tired.
  • if i had unlimited money i'd get some fillings for my teeth and get my car in good working shape. i don't have money though.
  • called my dad he never called back. happy birthday.
  • fuck the lakers.
  • one email today. white.
  • it's too late to worry about anything but sleep.


    • 5-28-00 (01:27)

  • i just realized (thanks to my mom's reminder) that tomorrow is my dad's birthday.
  • updated movie list.
  • yea today was officially boring.
  • pink floyd is moving up in my book. the wall is great, it bears repeating.
  • had like three dinners today from 6pm-11:30pm. that's a bad way to eat i think. i've got lots of food. had artichoke, breakfast burritos, pasta, and sausage today along with a smoothie. tomorrow i'll only have one dinner. maybe i should wake up in time for lunch. i probably will because the game is on.
  • it's a good thing that the one channel we get is nbc which carries the basketball games, if not i might blow up the world or something stupid.
  • i'm going to sleep. it's two thirty.


    • 5-27-00 (22:19)

  • this day has been really very boring. it seems everyone has a life but me. even work was boring. basketball was so so.
  • watched one movie there is another playing but i'm not watching.
  • i should start my papers today and get them over with. ha.
  • i'll just watch the fucking movie, shit what a cop out.


    • 5-27-00 (02:30)

  • i was just talking about religion the other day and today i watched dogma which talked about religion a lot.
  • updated movie list.
  • saw portland lose a 14 point lead. that was sad shit.
  • played some basketball today which was fun.
  • the show was run of the mill.
  • i've got work tomorrow which kinda sucks because i wanted to sleep all day.
  • i don't do very much while i'm on the computer. i'm not on the computer very much either.
  • i don't like elitism. i am a part of it...say when it comes to music i sort of am (to a much lesser degree than most kdviates), i am sometimes with food, but my point is that thinking you are better than someone because of your standards isn't good. on the same note i'd like to say that anyone who thinks that britney spears has real musical talent should have something bad done to them. ahhh yes, the duality of man. contradictory chris. the ubiquitous inner battle.
  • hard to believe i spelled ubiquitous right on the first try.
  • i want a girlfriend to love and hold. oh wait, nevermind i'd rather not feel bad for going out with the guys, get jealous when some other guy starts hitting on her, or get dumped again. calvin klein - contradiction.
  • i'm hungry, but it's late and i'm tired.
  • i should eat breakfast and lunch rather than two late dinners. i don't really have time in the morning though. i don't make time, that is.
  • i don't think life is a science, but i wish it was more predictable and consistent like science. i'd like to know what breakfast has historically made my days the best. in sports they have all these funky stats - when glen rice gets more than 6 points in the first 3 mins, ate pancakes for breakfast, and is playing on the home court his team wins 90% of its games. if it were like that then i could find out what things i should be doing each day to get the best chance at life happiness and alignment with god. or something.
  • problem with most webpages out there is the lack of updating.
  • i'm tired.


    • 5-26-00 (00:48)

  • i just watched a movie for 2hours and 9mins...it was the fastest 129mins in my life. One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest is the cool hand luke of mental hospitals...great.
  • updated movie list.
  • everyone's gone, that's rare for a thursday night...at least in this house it is. jon is with some friends and i have no clue where the other jokers went.
  • i'll have pictures from the trip up in no time...johnny is scanning them right now for me. go johnny.
  • i think it's cool that jon doesn't drink anymore.
  • there seems to be a christian movement on campus. this week is officially "jesus week"...how such a thing happens i don't know. i really (i'm serious) want a satan week if they're going to have a jesus week. sure jesus was a nice guy and supposedly a martyr, but satan stood up for his beliefs...individuality...he didn't submit to god, i think satan is pretty bomb ass for not rolling over and taking it in the rear from god. to me satan doesn't represent pure evil he just represents individuality and not feeling guilty for fucking up. Billy Bibbit in One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest felt guilty for something and if you've seen the movie you know the outcome of that. fuck jesus week.
  • oh then there's the "i agree with jessica" craze. these people on campus are wearing these eye-sore shirts (neon green) that say "I Agree With Jessica" on the front. in the aggie the story behind the shirts is this: Jessica ?Smith? is a christian and is happy that she is, so happy that she's making some speech about why she's christian...pretty fucking ridiculous if you ask me. so i was walking with a friend of mine and we saw some happy looking person wearing one of these shirts and he asked "oh where did you get that shirt"..."he he, i got it on the quad =)"..."oh, are they handing them out?"..."he ha he, well, yea they cost seven bucks"..."that's a rip off" turns his back and walks away, i do the same while still in disbelief...then i burst out in laughter. so i know i shouldn't be such an ass, but good lord it was funny and she was so cliche that it couldn't have been scripted better.
  • i'll get off that topic. apparently we have a girl on our track team who runs the 800m in 2:09...about .5 sec slower than our school record. she's third in the nation too. what gets me about this is that i ran a 2:12 senior year and that was when i barely trained...i made up partially for not working out by almost throwing up after every race because i pushed myself so hard, but it's still surprising. i thought for sure our school record would have been better than that.
  • i just looked on a few sites and discovered that the women's 800m times for most colleges, even division I schools, aren't much better than 2:09...this really surprises me, i'm used to having my times be worse than college women by more than just 3 seconds. damn if i had joined track as a woman i would have won the division II national title no problem. 3 seconds improvement could have happened within the first year. i'd be the freshman phenom. of course if i ran as a male then i'd get my ass pretty throughly rocked. if i ran track i'd probably be running the 3000m anyway...not enough speed for the shorter ones, not in college anyway. damn i really miss track. so many memories. i loved just swooping on fools in that last 150-200m, just taking them down. things were good junior year. then some bitch asked me if i wanted to be her boyfriend and my track coach left. both fucking sucked.
  • i need to start running again. i solves lots of problems.
  • i want a sticker that says "question authority"
  • i'm going to run now.


    • 5-25-00 (17:26)

  • so i'm at home listening to pink floyd's dark side of the moon when i got this credit card bill in the mail and i've never even used the card so i called the fuckers up and this guy answers. i tell him the situation and he says he'll look me up in the computer. then he says 'i hear some dark side of the moon there, right?' i say yes and he says that he was just listening to it last night. i say that's a weird coincidence because so was i, as i went to sleep. the world is funny.
  • tired still.
  • i had mashed potatoes and sausage last night, it was good. first time i've made mashed potatoes by myself. with a few exceptions most of the people i know can't really cook for shit. my mom did a pretty decent job of learning me about that stuff.
  • i think i'll make a sandwich now.
  • sandwich is done. just signed up for classes. it's cold inside. i want to play basketball.
  • didn't get the kdvs job...the chicks did.
    • This is the rest stop where we got our ride back home from.
    "X" is where I asked Katie for a ride. The arrow marks where we were walking from.

    5-25-00 (01:07)

  • today's long day is just about over. it was even cooler outside today and thus the a/c was only on for 12 hours. discomfort builds character.
  • paper is finished, outline is finished, next tuesday/wednesday nights should be extremely white.
  • i slept on the grass outside of class today for about 40 minutes, man that was nice. i was so tired i was able to do it, but it was damn nice.
  • work was fun for the last half or so. today was pretty long, but not too shabby. got paid so that's good.
  • i want to sleep outside a few nights just because. i'm going to sleep now.


    • 5-24-00 (09:28)

  • done. tired. hungry.
  • i should do my group outline now.
  • did it...what's really gay is when you start running out of everything at once. laundry detergent, shaving cream, printer paper, stamps, sanity...i bought 100 stamps the other day.
  • i think the united states postal service kicks ass.


    • 5-24-00 (04:45)

  • i'm tired. i'm done with two pages. i have an outline due tomorrow in another one of her stupid classes. damn i hate this teacher.
  • i have work tomorrow until 11pm...i'm going to be dying.
  • the sun rises soon enough.


    • 5-24-00 (03:40)

  • "in the light" is an awesome song.
  • "bron-yr-aur"...acoustic tour de force.
  • we had an election today. well it was really just a vote on a bond measure...for schools...i voted, of course. and i voted yes, of course. i asked the people who were working at the ballot location how many people they had...7...pretty damn fucking sad, it was 5pm. fuck you for not voting. you're over it.


    • 5-24-00 (02:03)

  • i should start. ha.
  • at any rate, led zeppelin is so godfucking good it's impossible to express it using language. just imagine listening to beethoven's 9th...the power, the beauty, a mere mortal produced, arranged, conducted, and wrote the whole thing. led zeppelin is the same way. four guys who did what they did best and they made it all work together. they did it in an industry that eats people up and spits them out in a matter of a year. they did it for 10 years...and what stopped them? john bonham died in 1979, that's what. it's like what stopped the real iron man's (lou gehrig) streak? he got lou gehrig's disease, no joke. the beatles were great, don't get me wrong. fuck the stones, ccr, the who, were all great bands, but led zeppelin...well led zeppelin is just led zeppelin.
  • scott explained to me a bit on how to count music...i think i actually understand a bit of it...as long as it's 4/4 i can count it. some good that does, but it's kinda cool to know how to do it.
  • i should start this paper.


    • 5-23-00 (23:51)

  • living in davis gets me 24 more minutes of sunshine in my day...the sun sets at 8:18 here and 7:54 in los angeles. i think that's cool.
  • it's a lot easier to make yourself happy by making others happy first. it's too much work to get really good at something in order to boost your own self-esteem. buying stuff for yourself usually doesn't have the desired effect. so, i've concluded that it's a lot easier to just make others happy thereby making you happy. making people laugh is always nice.
  • i talked to the guy who lives in his van today...i saw him at kdvs. he's dope. we talked about the van and how i was thinking of doing the same thing, we talked about the hitchhiking trip and he said he wanted to do that, and we talked about music a bit.
  • spring in davis lasted 2 weeks...it seems.


    • 5-23-00 (22:54)

  • i've got 13 hours to write 10 pages...hmmm. i should get to it then.
  • played basketball today and that rocked. some people still don't know my name, but i'll keep having to step up my play until they do. i've noticed that a lot of them watch people play rather than moving without the ball...that's the biggest thing, i think, that separates the recreational baller from the competitive one. i think i'm actually getting to the point where i'm not afraid of having the ball. it used to be that if i had the ball all i would think about was my missing a shot if i took it or throwing the ball to the wrong person or getting it stolen if i tried to dribble.
  • we had a bit of a tournament today in basketball. we split up into 4 teams of 4 and then played two games. vern and i were on the same team with another good player and one really tall guy who was basically our rebounder. we clicked really well and won all our games, it was good to be on a winning team.
  • this paper is white, gay, dumb and stupid.
  • had my last day of bike class.
  • this quarter has gone by relatively quickly, so far. next week will be interesting.
  • according to precedent i should get action within the next week and a half.
  • led zeppelin will be my soundtrack to this paper...from led zeppelin I to in through the out door...in chronological order. i should start now.
    • Disneyland in all its glorious whiteness
    5-22-00 (23:19)
  • someone breaks their finger...is this a horrible thing, a mildly bad thing or no big deal at all? i think it matters HOW the person broke their finger. life is interesting like that. if i broke my finger while helping out some asshole who still thinks i'm his friend move then it would suck and just add (in this case) injury to insult. but if i broke my finger while having wild sex with some hot french model then i would probably reduce it to a testament to my pimping style. in both cases the end result is the same, but with distinctly different feelings towards the injury. read "how to want what you have."
  • the GM at the station called and is giving me an interview for the asst. publicity director position. vern got the call too. this is despite my turning in a last second application. in fact i turned in one for vern too, thinking that he hadn't turned one it....we thought the deadline was friday and then (on thursday) both realized it was due that day. having left our cellphones at home we had no way to contact each other so he turned in one for himself and emailed me to do the same. i turned one in for me and then another for him. i'm sure it looked odd to see two for vern being turned in. such is life.
  • i got so much done on my paper. wait nevermind i watched a movie.
  • there's a kenwood car cd receiver/radio that can decode mp3 files...so you can burn a cd with mp3 files on it and it'll play the files. that means up to 10 hours worth of music on one cd...being played in your car. nice shit.
  • our TV sucks big time...we get one channel. the lakers game wasn't televised up here i guess. it's quite white because i really wanted to see portland kick their ass. maybe i shouldn't say that since i have no idea who won yet.
  • the high for today was 99 degrees, most of the day it was in the mid-90s. crazy shit.
  • if you're in santa cruz you can probably look for it to be in the mid 80s tomorrow.
  • more pictures from the trip, and otherwise, to come, but for now - feast your eyes on this one...once i get the pictures from the trip...including vern's pictures...scanned i'll make a page dedicated to the trip.
  • webpages are great to document your memories. better than journals...well easier anyway.
    • here's the kicker! right along that bend is where the train wreck happened. the box represents our position when the train stopped. the rest of the train stretched a long way south along the track. but the actual break in the link happened just about 6 cars ahead of us at the leftmost part of the bend in the rail. the "X" marks approx. where we hiked to after i saw the conductor approaching. you can see why vern didn't want to run across the highway - there's a blind spot either way you look so you can't see if a highway patrolman is coming. 1 mile north of here is Lamoine - if you remember, it's the town where we first went, but it had no services. from there we hiked south about 6 miles along the 5 until we reached a rest stop. this photo was taken in 1994. you can see the river, the rail, and the highway...you can imagine (until i get the pictures posted) what the actual scene looked like. whoop whoop.
    5-22-00 (18:17)
  • so i have a massive paper due on wednesday i should probably start the groundwork today.
  • skipped my first class. i feel so guilty. i suck. i'm over it.
  • i went to the official california webpage and saw some cool stuff. the best thing i saw in my brief stay there was the small business financing plan they had setup. there are a lot of resources out there for people if they just know where to look. knowing where to look it the problem.
  • i put up a really nice little picture which has much significance in my hitchhiking trip...check that out. more to come.
  • there's this guy who i see fairly often at the library when i'm working there. we chit chat once in a while as i check out books to him. the other day i saw he made a skateboard out of two skis. pretty cool idea and very similiar to the idea vern, johnny, luke and i had when we made verns' old skis into a sled that fit four people. i thought that was pretty cool. then i read the paper today and see an article about a guy who stole my idea to live in a van while going to school. damn bastard! well it turns out that he's the same guy. next time i see him at work i'm going to talk with him about it. this guy is officially the coolest person in davis and really needs to be our friend.
  • i'm going to finally change the poll.
  • i like to have my room be a messy sometimes because when i'm bored or feeling like my life is out of order it gives me something good to do.
  • i'm going to go pretend to work now.
    • This is just north of Dunsmuir. Highway 5 runs right through this picture and you can kind of see the Sacramento River running alongside the train tracks, which as fate would have it, actually have a train on them. We (vern and i) were dropped off inside that box i've made. This is where the cop told us getting out of Dunsmuir via hitchhiking is very unlikely. As you can see the train tracks run right by where we were. We ran down that there hill and jumped into one of the stopped trains...the rest is history.
    5-22-00 (01:40)
  • marina's bbq was today and lasted a lot longer than i thought, but it was cool.
  • got to see the knicks beat the heat. if you would have asked me at the beginning of the series i would have said the heat would win in 7 games, i was wrong.
  • oh gas prices have gone down like i thought they would, but it took a little longer than i thought.
  • my dad's a crazy guy, i've realized this after thinking about all the crazy stuff that happened back in the day.
  • made another apple pie, this time it was for marina's bbq.
  • why when some girls tell stories about their friends do they refer to the female friends as 'girlfriend'...e.g., "my girlfriend and i once went to the superbowl..." if i tell a story about a male friend of mine and i going to the superbowl i wouldn't say "my boyfriend and i..." or "my guyfriend and i..." i've always wondered about that.
  • i'm going to be busy the next ten or so days. it should be funny to see me try and run around and finish all these papers and still live. ha ha i can laugh at my own misfortune. or my own poor planning. ha ha you are so funny stupid white man with no view of your future. ha ha me laugh at you stupid whiteness.
  • check the pic. more 2 cum.
  • duh.
    • Dodger Stadium, we would sit in the first tier by the left field pole.
    5-20-00 (23:15)
  • i'm going to watch a movie now because it's about that time.
  • i put in this massive map of west la...it brings back many memories. despite living 26 miles away from here i spent most of my time here.
  • more (quantity) and more (quality) pictures are to come...
    • 1. O.J.'s House
    2. My High School
    3. My Elementary School
    4. Dad's House
    5. Santa Monica Pier
    6. Pacific Palisade High School, our rival
    7. Westwood Village/UCLA
    8. Phil's House
    9. Mormon Church
    10. My Junior High
    11. Westwood Village
    12. 4th Street - ran here many times.
    saw sugar ray leonard and some baywatch chick here a few times too.
    13. This way to mom's house (about 20 more miles)

    5-20-00 (21:44)

  • Malcolm X called the 60s march on washington the 'farce on washington'...this is a surprising take on something that is usually seen as a major civil rights moment. he backs it up well though. what started out as a grassroots movement by poor blacks from the south turned out to be an event co-sponsored and co-organized by white people in government. as malcolm x put it the poor blacks were not seen amidst the now fully integrated crowd. they were told where to march, what to sing (only one song 'we shall overcome'), and even told not to make their own signs because signs would be provided for them. i'm not sure i'd call it the 'farce on washington', but it seems it did lose some of its luster once it lost the grassroots element to it it became less monumental.
  • malcolm x knows what's up, but...well he's a very interesting guy let's just say that.
  • mlk was shot while he was lobbying for a group of janitors...this was one example of his branching out to the economically disadvantaged, rather than just blacks. fast forward 32 years and tom morello of rage against the machine is in los angeles fighting for a janitor's union. fyi.
  • "blacks are too fucking broke to be republican" -ice cube.
  • i got a bunch of great pics from terraserver. well two are great and the rest are just kinda cool. forthcoming...


    • 5-20-00 (14:05)

  • i don't understand why people think it's so bad to wake up late. sleeping is one of the best things in our lives yet everyday we wake up artifically early, whether it be out of guilt, work load, people banging on the walls, etc. if you like sleeping so much why don't you do it more often?
  • i think that if i had a girlfriend i'd write on my webpage less often.
  • i saw the strangest bug in the reserves yesterday. it was very odd looking. maybe it's a northern california bug or something. you get to a certain age and you think that you've seen all the bugs california has to offer, then while shelving books you see something like this.
  • i have work at 3p today. at 3p tomorrow is marina's bbq, should be fun. tonight will be like last night. tomorrow morning i will be woken up by the phone ringing or by someone banging around in the kitchen. such is life.


    • 5-20-00 (01:31)

  • watched gladiator tonight. updated movies list.
  • show was cut 45 mins short, but was still good nonetheless.
  • slept today.
  • watched gladiator.
  • got some email.
  • i got another kdvs t-shirt the other day - it's blue. yay.
  • shit i have nothing to say.
  • the james brown track picked out on fatboy slim's collection is decent, but the best thing is that fbs used a bunch of public enemy samples when remixing it. well not a bunch, but enough for it to be noteworthy.
  • CLM remains constant.


    • 5-19-00 (00:27)

  • tonight was extremely boring.
  • i wrote seven letters - to the majority and minority leaders of both the HOR and Senate (4), one to the speaker of the house, one to governor davis, and one to president Clinton. it was going to be about the NPT Review Conference which is about nuclear proliferation, but i discovered that it ends tomorrow so it's a bit late for that. so, i made the letter about education, the environment, and nuclear proliferation in general.
  • i know how johnny feels about using energy - i feel bad when i drive the car or leave lights on because of what it does to the environment.
  • my tongue has a gluey taste.
  • i think we should have an annual turn off your television week.
  • they made some grooving music back in the day.
  • all the people at kdvs think vern and i are gay lovers or siamese twins. on the message board on the kdvs site two of the DJs who play b-ball were talking about the games we played. one went over each person playing and talked about their performance - he lumped us together as one entity. the other DJ was talking about the games in general and stopped to talk about noteworthy performances, when he mentioned me he referred to me as "Chris (of Chris and Vern repute)"...the other DJ said of us "Chris and Vern: And while I'm talking about frustrating, let's talk about the indie rock duo of Chris and Vern. I swear they're telepathically linked somehow, because each knows what the other's doing at all times. Somewhat counter-productive if they're on opposing teams, but when they're together, oh boy!"
  • basketball is the best thing i've got going this quarter.
  • so all the major shows for the season are over now i think. i watched the friends finale, but only to mock it. i think i laughed with it twice and at it many more times than that. what a retarded show. i didn't even dare watch nER. oh and then there was 90212 which was last night. i say 90212 because as you can see from one of the pics below my dad lives right across the street from b.h.h. and his zip is 90212 and i'm pretty sure the school has the same zip code. at any rate that finale marked the end of a generation. 10 years, damn. i'm not sure what they'll call the 90s generation 20 years from now, we'll see. probably something like the GAP generation...it fits in more ways than one...income gap, gap clothing, and i'm sure there could be others.
  • i wonder what congressmen would say about the growing gap between the rich and poor. i'll assume most of them know it exists and most of those would acknowledge it's not in the best interest of the country. yet nothing significant has really been done about it. principle versus policy.
  • memorial day is trashed because of paint training. gay.
  • the last two years right around memorial day i've gotten a reminder on why one should stay away from women. i wonder if this year will be year number three.
  • i saw this chick driving around today and she had a bunch of stickers on her rear windshield, some were of her favorite bands (most of which were pretty white) and some said things like "don't pretend you don't want me"...another said "it's not pretty being easy"...she was hot and i did want her, but i still wanted to run her off the road. good looking chicks can get away with so much. it really is sickening.


    • 5-18-00 (22:13)

  • so far this is one of the most boring thursdays of my life.
  • i called johnny, but the line was busy. i called stacy and she was watching TV. i talked to vern and then he started playing equally mind numbing video games.
  • so it's just me and my music.
    • La Casa De Flores - my house next year.
    Emerson Dorms - my home freshman year.
    A nice park for various activities, including frisbee golf.
    5-18-00 (18:56)
  • nothing exciting happened today. i went to work and then school, just like i'm supposed to. then i came home and took the car for a drive.
  • now i'm back and really hungry, but i don't know what i want to eat.


    • 5-18-00 (02:19)

  • work was five hours long today, but it went by fairly quickly. had more fun with the patrons. i showed them satellite pictures of my house, the library, O.J.'s house, Beverly Hills High, etc.
  • watched boogie nights. ate a lot of food when i planned on just going to sleep after work.
  • highlight of the day was my shirt...i wore my "Let the fucking begin." shirt and got many stares and compliments.
  • day was long now i should sleep...here are some pictures with little side notes. more to come.
  • when it comes to girls i definitely have problems.
    • Here's a picture of my dad's neighborhood, it's far more interesting than my mom's side of town:

    Here's a picture of SMC (Santa Monica Community College).
    This is the track where I broke 5 minutes in the mile.
    "X" is where I crossed the finish line...those were the days.

    This is my old High Schoo